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Are You In The Right Headspace To
Private
World famous



Yoko wrote:
id think

this is fucking dumb, if its worth telling me, obviously it is or you wouldnt be asking, then just say it
21
Posts: 23197
Date: 07-12-2019 00:19
Ad0xa
World famous



ad0xa wrote:
Ainsley wrote:
ad0xa wrote:
Ainsley wrote:
i have been in this situation before and most times the person has played the victim and trying to manipulate the convo so that i would be in the wrong...

ur also right regarding the fact that u must commit to the convo now and on ur friend. sorta selfish if u ask me.
Yeah I've had friends like that too....

Or friends that sort of "hint" at them needing me and pretending to be coy about it. And I hate that too. Bc it feels shady? Like.... Why can't you just come out and tell me or contact me directly, instead of trying to get my attention in some roundabout way? Are you trying to make me feel bad? Panic? Thinking the thing is bigger than it actually is? Ect. 
yes yes
are u the "therapist" friend?
for some ppl i know, they come to me with all their problems, or issues THEY start with ME, but theyre sly about the way they word things bc they KNOW they've been bugging me for a while
Yeah but it's voluntary XD 
I've always been interested in talking about stuff like that and helping/solving people's problems. 
So I really don't mind it at all. But I DO mind when people try to manipulate me or when they just want to get sympathy without any actual feedback from me. Bc then it's like... don't come to me asking for advice when you just wanna complain? I'm okay with complaining? But don't PRETEND to want advice. 
21
Posts: 14827
Date: 07-12-2019 00:19
Private
International star



Ainsley wrote:
ad0xa wrote:
Ainsley wrote:
ad0xa wrote:
Yeah I've had friends like that too....

Or friends that sort of "hint" at them needing me and pretending to be coy about it. And I hate that too. Bc it feels shady? Like.... Why can't you just come out and tell me or contact me directly, instead of trying to get my attention in some roundabout way? Are you trying to make me feel bad? Panic? Thinking the thing is bigger than it actually is? Ect. 
yes yes
are u the "therapist" friend?
for some ppl i know, they come to me with all their problems, or issues THEY start with ME, but theyre sly about the way they word things bc they KNOW they've been bugging me for a while
Yeah but it's voluntary XD 
I've always been interested in talking about stuff like that and helping/solving people's problems. 
So I really don't mind it at all. But I DO mind when people try to manipulate me or when they just want to get sympathy without any actual feedback from me. Bc then it's like... don't come to me asking for advice when you just wanna complain? I'm okay with complaining? But don't PRETEND to want advice. 
OOOOH u know the type of ppl who "want advice"
but rly they just want u to VALIDATE THEIR FEELINGS...
and ur like no thats a bad idea and they try to get u to change ur mind abt it and ur like NO theres a reason why im telling u NOT to do it...

or YEA when they just want sympathy im like pls shut up this isnt worth getting so emotional over im so confused as to what im supposed to do for u?
theyre just complaining abt the SMALLEST thing and i cant stand it
18
Posts: 10303
Date: 07-12-2019 00:24
Ad0xa
World famous



ad0xa wrote:
Ainsley wrote:
ad0xa wrote:
Ainsley wrote:
yes yes
are u the "therapist" friend?
for some ppl i know, they come to me with all their problems, or issues THEY start with ME, but theyre sly about the way they word things bc they KNOW they've been bugging me for a while
Yeah but it's voluntary XD 
I've always been interested in talking about stuff like that and helping/solving people's problems. 
So I really don't mind it at all. But I DO mind when people try to manipulate me or when they just want to get sympathy without any actual feedback from me. Bc then it's like... don't come to me asking for advice when you just wanna complain? I'm okay with complaining? But don't PRETEND to want advice. 
OOOOH u know the type of ppl who "want advice"
but rly they just want u to VALIDATE THEIR FEELINGS...
and ur like no thats a bad idea and they try to get u to change ur mind abt it and ur like NO theres a reason why im telling u NOT to do it...

or YEA when they just want sympathy im like pls shut up this isnt worth getting so emotional over im so confused as to what im supposed to do for u?
theyre just complaining abt the SMALLEST thing and i cant stand it
The first things yes. But the second thing don't bother me... like.. it's totally okay to vent about how the color of your curtains was the wrong color and it's stressing  you out XD I'm there for you friend.

It basically only bothers me when I feel like the person isn't truly honest. Manipulating. Or when they don't listen to me. 
21
Posts: 14827
Date: 07-12-2019 00:27
Private
International star



Ainsley wrote:
ad0xa wrote:
Ainsley wrote:
ad0xa wrote:
Yeah but it's voluntary XD 
I've always been interested in talking about stuff like that and helping/solving people's problems. 
So I really don't mind it at all. But I DO mind when people try to manipulate me or when they just want to get sympathy without any actual feedback from me. Bc then it's like... don't come to me asking for advice when you just wanna complain? I'm okay with complaining? But don't PRETEND to want advice. 
OOOOH u know the type of ppl who "want advice"
but rly they just want u to VALIDATE THEIR FEELINGS...
and ur like no thats a bad idea and they try to get u to change ur mind abt it and ur like NO theres a reason why im telling u NOT to do it...

or YEA when they just want sympathy im like pls shut up this isnt worth getting so emotional over im so confused as to what im supposed to do for u?
theyre just complaining abt the SMALLEST thing and i cant stand it
The first things yes. But the second thing don't bother me... like.. it's totally okay to vent about how the color of your curtains was the wrong color and it's stressing  you out XD I'm there for you friend.

It basically only bothers me when I feel like the person isn't truly honest. Manipulating. Or when they don't listen to me. 
ah i get bothered when they complain abt other ppl
and its the same ppl they talk abt

but yea i would complain abt curtains too HAHAHAH

yes being manipulated is exhausting so i feel u
18
Posts: 10303
Date: 07-12-2019 00:29
Private
World famous



Hazelnut wrote:
Go ahead, do your worst I'l do it 1000 times worser anyway! 
21
Posts: 9511
Date: 07-12-2019 00:31
Private
Popstar



skeIeton wrote:
Xemnas wrote:
Personally I know people who talk like this and i personally format hard to talk about things (not in this kind of way ofc) and like... idk. it's a hard thing to talk about bc as someone in the autism spectrum this is a kinda of common thing ? So I see it a lot and don't really think twice bc I understand how hard it is to like....try and message someone about things like that
ah now see if this was directly aimed at folks who have a hard time knowing how to bring up wanting to vent/rant about sth and how to word it, i could understand, but even then only to an extent in that like...i appreciate them trying to help but that actually would make this even worse in a way because it's so so SO badly worded, so telling someone who already has a hard time knowing how to word stuff to try these methods is just...awful! 

and also if this is the best u can come up with cos u struggle i can get that (god knows i have to sit and think about how i wanna go about sayin sth often enough) and any ppl ur talking to are also probs aware that u have a hard time with it and such and so in that context wouldn't find it (as) off putting u know?

but it seems to be aimed at just...everyone in general, which makes me like... ??? what?? do ppl at large really not know how to just say "hey is it ok if i vent for a while?"
13
Posts: 2949
Date: 07-12-2019 00:49 | Times changed: 1
Account deleted




wrote:
am i the only one who sees nothing wrong w this 
Date: 07-12-2019 01:21
Private
Youtube star



ransom wrote:
Hazelnut wrote:
Go ahead, do your worst I'l do it 1000 times worser anyway! 
I’ll start! Do It harderer !!!!
12
Posts: 492
Date: 07-12-2019 01:23
Account deleted




wrote:
Pearlnet wrote:
am i the only one who sees nothing wrong w this 
but then i also understand that it might come across "you allowed me to say this so now you can't react negatively", but it just depends on the person
Date: 07-12-2019 01:23
Private
Youtube star



ransom wrote:
Pearlnet wrote:
am i the only one who sees nothing wrong w this 
Me neither tbhI feel like it’s actually good because if you lack the mental capacity they might not wanna add a bombshell on you and possibly worsen your mental health or something I guess! 
12
Posts: 492
Date: 07-12-2019 01:24
Private
International star



Ahria wrote:
Oh I thought it was like “imma expose the fact that your bf is cheating on you”
19
Posts: 16681
Date: 07-12-2019 01:25
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