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Are You In The Right Headspace To
Ad0xa
World famous



ad0xa wrote:
Another note is that it can totally be used for manipulation instead. 

Since we have unspoken social rules. So if someone just told you about something you can "pretend" to not read it or whatever, if you're not in the mood. That's socially excepted by most. 

But if you answer this message you're 100% having to commit and focus on their thing. Even if you change your mind. And if you say no, that might have other social implications. Starting fights or hurting the person who asked. 

Sometimes it's better to not know why you didn't get an answer than actually knowing. 
21
Posts: 14827
Date: 06-12-2019 23:32
Ad0xa
World famous



ad0xa wrote:
It's also like the "Promise you won't get angry if I tell you this?" 
21
Posts: 14827
Date: 06-12-2019 23:34
Private
Popstar



ouch wrote:
ad0xa wrote:
It's also like the "Promise you won't get angry if I tell you this?" 
Yeah lol I feel like if u dont know what it is abt, you cant know if it will be bad for u or not 
16
Posts: 93784
Date: 06-12-2019 23:35
Private
International star



Ainsley wrote:
the whole "self-care" thing that all these girls keep tryna pursue is ngl,,,,pretty toxic in and of itself
18
Posts: 10303
Date: 06-12-2019 23:36
Private
International star



Ainsley wrote:
ad0xa wrote:
Another note is that it can totally be used for manipulation instead. 

Since we have unspoken social rules. So if someone just told you about something you can "pretend" to not read it or whatever, if you're not in the mood. That's socially excepted by most. 

But if you answer this message you're 100% having to commit and focus on their thing. Even if you change your mind. And if you say no, that might have other social implications. Starting fights or hurting the person who asked. 

Sometimes it's better to not know why you didn't get an answer than actually knowing. 
i have been in this situation before and most times the person has played the victim and trying to manipulate the convo so that i would be in the wrong...

ur also right regarding the fact that u must commit to the convo now and on ur friend. sorta selfish if u ask me.
18
Posts: 10303
Date: 06-12-2019 23:37
Junkiekid
Youtube star



junkiekid wrote:
also i think this depends alot on the friend group and peoples personalities

i know for sure my friends wouldn't appreciate a message like this not that i really have any friends i mostly just rant about everything to my boyfriend and vice versa

anyways i don't think you always have to be so careful about everything

and if your gonna tell a friend something you probably already know them well enough to know if it's good to tell them or not
14
Posts: 1312
Date: 06-12-2019 23:37
Murdurur
National star



murdurur wrote:
i would be too busy thinking about the potential tea to give any thought to my actual headspace or the fact that anyone even asked tbh
14
Posts: 7308
Date: 06-12-2019 23:38
Junkiekid
Youtube star



junkiekid wrote:
and like what do you mean drop information on your friends without consent??? what
14
Posts: 1312
Date: 06-12-2019 23:39
Ad0xa
World famous



ad0xa wrote:
Ainsley wrote:
ad0xa wrote:
Another note is that it can totally be used for manipulation instead. 

Since we have unspoken social rules. So if someone just told you about something you can "pretend" to not read it or whatever, if you're not in the mood. That's socially excepted by most. 

But if you answer this message you're 100% having to commit and focus on their thing. Even if you change your mind. And if you say no, that might have other social implications. Starting fights or hurting the person who asked. 

Sometimes it's better to not know why you didn't get an answer than actually knowing. 
i have been in this situation before and most times the person has played the victim and trying to manipulate the convo so that i would be in the wrong...

ur also right regarding the fact that u must commit to the convo now and on ur friend. sorta selfish if u ask me.
Yeah I've had friends like that too....

Or friends that sort of "hint" at them needing me and pretending to be coy about it. And I hate that too. Bc it feels shady? Like.... Why can't you just come out and tell me or contact me directly, instead of trying to get my attention in some roundabout way? Are you trying to make me feel bad? Panic? Thinking the thing is bigger than it actually is? Ect. 
21
Posts: 14827
Date: 06-12-2019 23:42
Private
National star



devilcake wrote:
I think if you reword it and it's like a big deal then it's actually a pretty decent thing to do.

My friend's cat had to be put down recently, and we were traveling at the time so her sister texted her "If something bad happened would you want me to tell you?" and that way she had the option to decide if she wanted to deal with bad news on the trip or not

so like maybe depending on the issue and situation idk but also obvi it depends on your friendship and how well you know the person too? Like if it's someone you know might not be able to handle it sure, if yit's a ln time friend and u need to tell them you should probably be able to go ahead

idk i just din't think it's like that outrageous lmao
19
Posts: 144666
Date: 06-12-2019 23:46
MeNoS
World famous



MeNoS wrote:
i felt fear reading that message
19
Posts: 10356
Date: 06-12-2019 23:50
Private
National star



devilcake wrote:
but if i think about it it'd probably make me anxious as all fuck
19
Posts: 144666
Date: 07-12-2019 00:01
Junkiekid
Youtube star



junkiekid wrote:
that message is a mix of condecending and threatening
14
Posts: 1312
Date: 07-12-2019 00:08
Private
International star



Ainsley wrote:
ad0xa wrote:
Ainsley wrote:
ad0xa wrote:
Another note is that it can totally be used for manipulation instead. 

Since we have unspoken social rules. So if someone just told you about something you can "pretend" to not read it or whatever, if you're not in the mood. That's socially excepted by most. 

But if you answer this message you're 100% having to commit and focus on their thing. Even if you change your mind. And if you say no, that might have other social implications. Starting fights or hurting the person who asked. 

Sometimes it's better to not know why you didn't get an answer than actually knowing. 
i have been in this situation before and most times the person has played the victim and trying to manipulate the convo so that i would be in the wrong...

ur also right regarding the fact that u must commit to the convo now and on ur friend. sorta selfish if u ask me.
Yeah I've had friends like that too....

Or friends that sort of "hint" at them needing me and pretending to be coy about it. And I hate that too. Bc it feels shady? Like.... Why can't you just come out and tell me or contact me directly, instead of trying to get my attention in some roundabout way? Are you trying to make me feel bad? Panic? Thinking the thing is bigger than it actually is? Ect. 
yes yes
are u the "therapist" friend?
for some ppl i know, they come to me with all their problems, or issues THEY start with ME, but theyre sly about the way they word things bc they KNOW they've been bugging me for a while
18
Posts: 10303
Date: 07-12-2019 00:10
Murdurur
National star



murdurur wrote:
i don't really understand how you guys can look so deep into it tbh. not that you're wrong, i just can't imagine thinking twice about it lol.
14
Posts: 7308
Date: 07-12-2019 00:14
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