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parenting
Gravitation
World famous



Gravitation wrote:
BloomCissi wrote:
ouch wrote:
BloomCissi wrote:
I've never had a good relationship to my parents. Growing up, there was the occasional physical punishment, but the worst part is the authorativeness, which nowadays manifests itself in the "if you don't drop the attitude (= me questioning unreasonable shit they say or do), you can find another place to live".
Ohh my dad and stepdad does that, not that serious tho, its more like imma turn off the internet or take your phone/computer or stuff
A couple of years ago they were serious about throwing me out. I had to start looking for an apartment, and think about how the fuck to survive with only the money I got from studying.
I think that's horrible when parents throw their kids out, especially when they don't have the resources to live on their own. Why would you want your kids to suffer? I don't get it. 
21
Posts: 5388
Date: 27-01-2020 16:54
Private
World famous



Saekki wrote:
I'm also a firm believer that CHOOSING to have kids is a selfish choice, if you choose to have kids you're not doing it for anyone but yourself honestly. You're not doing it for your possible future kid cause that's not logical.

It's a selfish choice and that means that if you're not prepared love and cherish, care for and always be there for this child for the rest of your life, you should never get kids. Simple as that. You can't go around acting as if you're "doing the best for your child" and then expect them to move out at 18, do all the things you regret that YOU never did and at the same time be "grateful" because you raised them and fed them. 

Kids do not need to be grateful for shit like you getting them food, a roof to sleep under and the necessities of life. Your kids will know when to feel grateful for the things you do for them when it's not the bare minimum. I am so so grateful for my mom because she's been there for me when I need here and she has shown that she loved me

Don't get kids if you're not prepared to sacrifice parts of the life you have now, that you might not even think twice about on a usual day 
19
Posts: 11668
Date: 27-01-2020 17:05
Private
World famous



BloomCissi wrote:
Saekki wrote:
I'm also a firm believer that CHOOSING to have kids is a selfish choice, if you choose to have kids you're not doing it for anyone but yourself honestly. You're not doing it for your possible future kid cause that's not logical.

It's a selfish choice and that means that if you're not prepared love and cherish, care for and always be there for this child for the rest of your life, you should never get kids. Simple as that. You can't go around acting as if you're "doing the best for your child" and then expect them to move out at 18, do all the things you regret that YOU never did and at the same time be "grateful" because you raised them and fed them. 

Kids do not need to be grateful for shit like you getting them food, a roof to sleep under and the necessities of life. Your kids will know when to feel grateful for the things you do for them when it's not the bare minimum. I am so so grateful for my mom because she's been there for me when I need here and she has shown that she loved me

Don't get kids if you're not prepared to sacrifice parts of the life you have now, that you might not even think twice about on a usual day 
I hate the fact that so many parents have kids because "that's what you're supposed to", or as some kind of status symbol, and then don't give a fuck about raising them and giving them what they need. I know I wouldn't want to sacrifice the freedom I have for a child, which is why it's highly unlikely that I'll ever have kids. I see it as a huge commitment that needs to be taken very seriously - all kids deserve to grow up with parent/s who genuinely care for them. Since I'm not willing to take on that commitment, I'll not have kids, it's as simple as that.
20
Posts: 24501
Date: 27-01-2020 17:12
Buns
International star



Buns wrote:
Every parent has a right to raise their kids the way they wish, but abuse of any kind is not acceptable u don't deserve a baby. u piece of shit. :)
17
Posts: 3205
Date: 27-01-2020 17:14
Account deleted




wrote:
Buns wrote:
Every parent has a right to raise their kids the way they wish, but abuse of any kind is not acceptable u don't deserve a baby. u piece of shit.
!!
Date: 27-01-2020 17:15
Parasite
World famous



Parasite wrote:
Raise your kids how you want as long as you aren't abusive.

Had a neglectful parent come into my work yesterday and it pissed me off.
She was going to let her daughter fall out of the grocery cart and basically told me to mind my own business when I said "Hey, I think she's about to fall." 
Thank god she didn't.
She also ignored her while getting food off the salad bar and just let her run free.
The kid was likely 2 yrs old.
20
Posts: 10072
Date: 27-01-2020 17:19
Private
World famous



Saekki wrote:
BloomCissi wrote:
Saekki wrote:
I'm also a firm believer that CHOOSING to have kids is a selfish choice, if you choose to have kids you're not doing it for anyone but yourself honestly. You're not doing it for your possible future kid cause that's not logical.

It's a selfish choice and that means that if you're not prepared love and cherish, care for and always be there for this child for the rest of your life, you should never get kids. Simple as that. You can't go around acting as if you're "doing the best for your child" and then expect them to move out at 18, do all the things you regret that YOU never did and at the same time be "grateful" because you raised them and fed them. 

Kids do not need to be grateful for shit like you getting them food, a roof to sleep under and the necessities of life. Your kids will know when to feel grateful for the things you do for them when it's not the bare minimum. I am so so grateful for my mom because she's been there for me when I need here and she has shown that she loved me

Don't get kids if you're not prepared to sacrifice parts of the life you have now, that you might not even think twice about on a usual day 
I hate the fact that so many parents have kids because "that's what you're supposed to", or as some kind of status symbol, and then don't give a fuck about raising them and giving them what they need. I know I wouldn't want to sacrifice the freedom I have for a child, which is why it's highly unlikely that I'll ever have kids. I see it as a huge commitment that needs to be taken very seriously - all kids deserve to grow up with parent/s who genuinely care for them. Since I'm not willing to take on that commitment, I'll not have kids, it's as simple as that.
Yeah I probably won't have kids either, Especially not biological ones since I have literal anxiety about even the thought of being pregnant 
If I have kids then I'll go through adoption and since it is quite a process I think I'll know if I want to go through with it all
19
Posts: 11668
Date: 27-01-2020 17:22
Private
Youtube star



Limbs wrote:
BloomCissi wrote:
Saekki wrote:
I'm also a firm believer that CHOOSING to have kids is a selfish choice, if you choose to have kids you're not doing it for anyone but yourself honestly. You're not doing it for your possible future kid cause that's not logical.

It's a selfish choice and that means that if you're not prepared love and cherish, care for and always be there for this child for the rest of your life, you should never get kids. Simple as that. You can't go around acting as if you're "doing the best for your child" and then expect them to move out at 18, do all the things you regret that YOU never did and at the same time be "grateful" because you raised them and fed them. 

Kids do not need to be grateful for shit like you getting them food, a roof to sleep under and the necessities of life. Your kids will know when to feel grateful for the things you do for them when it's not the bare minimum. I am so so grateful for my mom because she's been there for me when I need here and she has shown that she loved me

Don't get kids if you're not prepared to sacrifice parts of the life you have now, that you might not even think twice about on a usual day 
I hate the fact that so many parents have kids because "that's what you're supposed to", or as some kind of status symbol, and then don't give a fuck about raising them and giving them what they need. I know I wouldn't want to sacrifice the freedom I have for a child, which is why it's highly unlikely that I'll ever have kids. I see it as a huge commitment that needs to be taken very seriously - all kids deserve to grow up with parent/s who genuinely care for them. Since I'm not willing to take on that commitment, I'll not have kids, it's as simple as that.
!! yes! same here. i can't understand how some people are so nonchalant about having/raising children. it's literally another person's life on your shoulders, and if you willingly brought them into this world you chose to bear that responsibility. it drives me nuts when people won't take responsibility for their actions
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 27-01-2020 18:35
Ad0xa
World famous



ad0xa wrote:
I think you can't really get away from "society" having a hand in it too. And even if you did get away from it, like, totally shielding your child from outside influences... that would be a bit.... crazy. And not very good. XD

But other than that. Obviously we can't let parents to WHATEVER they want. 
21
Posts: 14827
Date: 27-01-2020 18:37
Multatuli
International star



Multatuli wrote:
i didnt read anything in this thread so sorry if it has been mentioned:

what do you think about raising children genderless?

bc personally idk it rubs me a bit wrong? i agree with not forcing genderroles, but like saying theyre a boy and a girl should b allowed
18
Posts: 4667
Date: 27-01-2020 18:41
Private
Youtube star



Limbs wrote:
Multatuli wrote:
i didnt read anything in this thread so sorry if it has been mentioned:

what do you think about raising children genderless?

bc personally idk it rubs me a bit wrong? i agree with not forcing genderroles, but like saying theyre a boy and a girl should b allowed
same
i think raising a child as totally genderless is pretty extreme and probably not helpful? since the kid is gonna grow up in a gendered society anyway, doing that will just put them in a difficult & confusing position, i think. not forcing gender roles is good imo, and if the kid wants to be treated as genderless when they can understand the concept, that's fine too. but raising a child as genderless from the start is excessive imho
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 27-01-2020 18:56
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