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Getting Out Of A Rut |
I honestly can't remember ever being this depressed, well, I can, but not in a very, very long time. I feel like I'm in a very dark place and I'm sort of just looking around trying to find some sort of light. I used to self harm, it started around 2 years ago where I saw it as a bit of a coping mechanism, well, at the time anyway. But last night someone at work complained about my scars and my boss made me feel really, really shit. So last night I did something I haven't done in around 4 months and I burned myself. I thought this had all stopped. Things don't help when I don't tell my parents, and they don't understand how I feel and make me feel useless every single day. They call me lazy, which I am and I admit that and my dad always asks me when I'm moving out and that makes me attachment issues so much worse because I really feel like no one wants me. I did move out but it only lasted 2 months and since I moved back they treat me like a burden. I've just never felt more worthless my whole life. Sorry for the rant, I just can't hold it in anymore. I'm trying to stop focusing on the darkness and get better but I'm just finding it difficult. |