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One week: Am I a mom yet? |
Due date is getting closer. I'm excited, but also a bit nervous. I really want to meet this little guy and care for him! Its weird, because I haven't experienced a lot of "broody" feelings recently. I'm sure its instinctive when its your own, but I've never been this kind of girl who goes bananas over other peoples kids. In fact, I've hated kids most of my life (which is noteworthy, when I think of all the young girls who says they probably won't have children because they don't like them), but gradually become more tolerant towards them as I grew older. Especially when I reached the age where I finally wanted to have kids. But even now, being 39weeks pregnant, I don't feel it. I mean, sure, babies can be cute and all, but I'm just not all that super excited over other peoples kids and babies. But I know its different with my own. Maybe its because the way I've always been a mom up intil now, is as a caregiver to all my pets. I have had a shitton of pets in my lifetime, and obviously loved them all. I might even think I'm going to perceive my sons as a humanoid pet of sorts (in a good way, of course). So the sight of chubby little mini humans doesn't really mean a lot to me, unless its my own. I get a little overwhelmed every time I come across one of many women (its almost always women) who gets really excited that I'm having a baby soon. Or all the old ladies down at the ceramics studio where I used to work, who begs me to come visit and bring the baby once I gave birth to him. Even my dentist is all excited about it, and suggested I bring him along for my next appointment in september. Its nice with all the attention, but its weird and I can't really relate to their reactions. I think I'm also going to have a weird time once I bring him along to show people (its weird how excited they are on my behalf, but I don't mind brining him along to show him to people. I would still be a proud mother) and people start talking baby gibberish. Its fucking weird when people do that!! I don't expect I would talk much different to him, than I talk to my cat. Maybe a bit more gibberish, if I notice he reacts positive to that, but its really not in my nature, and it makes me really uncomfortable when grown people do this. And I know my moms boyfriend is one of these people :/ |