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| 3 weeks old |
| You really can't have any doubt that humans are just animals, when you have and observe an infant. It was a weird feeling having to realize the fact that once our boy was born, we officially wore the title "parents", and it was no longer just us as a couple, it was us as a family. But in reality, things doesn't feel all that different, identity wise. It still just feels like us two as a couple, but now with a very demanding new "pet" or very time consuming project. He is no more advanced than the cat. In fact, I think the cat has a more advanced intellect than he does. He only has three primary needs - food, hygiene and comfort. And his only means of communicating that he needs any of these things, is by crying. He can't even comprehend basic things like when you grab onto your pacifier and pull, you pull it out of your mouth. He doesn't feel like a "human" in that sense, since he hasn't yet developed many of those abilities that seems to make humans human. He did however start to smile more frequent within the past week, so often that you know for sure it isn't just a coincidence from all the random grimaces he makes all the time. He does it consequently and for a longer period of time. That is the moment that makes all the hard work worth while, and when you recognize him as a human being! It gives a tear to my eye every time. It can seem banal for a parent to be touched like that, just by seeing their own child smile, but I understand why. When he mostly just feels like a very demanding pet for the past three weeks, its rewarding and its also extremely interesting and exciting to gradually see this kind of development from 'demanding primitive creature' to 'tiny human that recognize my existence". Thats why it brings tears to my eyes. In most cases I don't so much mind that he is like a primitive animal, because thats exactly the kind of 'motherhood' I have experience with. I had tons of animals throughout my entire life, training and raising them. This kind of primitive psychology has always fascinated me, and I think its an experience that benefits me in this case. He might be too young to raise in the traditional way, but hes never too young to shape in a way that makes parenting easier for all of us, giving us the opportunity to meet his demands much more effectively. Was lucky enough to catch a smile on camera. He still only do it some 1-2 times a day if we're lucky, but according to the internet babies only start to smile around age 1 month or so. But its obviously something that happens gradually.  |
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