liv wrote:
My daughter has been acting strange. Ever since her return, her skin looks paler and her eyes look darker. She wonāt speak to me. She was on a walk, she claims.Ā Ā A long walk. āWhat are those scratches, then?ā I often think to myself. Although I never say it, I want her to tell me. I want my daughter to talk to me. She sits in her room and stares at nothing. She stares at her empty white wall for hours it seems. I watch her as Iām cooking, cleaning, dancing. āHey, wanna go for a walk?ā I cheerfully ask. This is the first time sheās looked at me in the eye since her arrival, āNo, eomma,ā she says softly. What is wrong with my daughter? When I walk in the room she jumps as if sheās afraid, as if sheās paranoid, as if Iām going to hurt her. I would never hurt her. āCome share some Jjajangmyeon with me.ā I pat the empty seat on the floor next to me. Iāve been eating alone for days, has she even been eating?Ā I feel like a bad mother for not making sure my daughter is eating, but she wonāt even look at me.Ā I admit Iāve snooped through her things. Itās hard because sheās always home these days but when she hops in the shower, I go in her room. I feel like a bad mother for going in her room. I look and look until I find a tiny card with shapes and numbers. She hid it well, Iāve been in here looking for answers for almost a week and never did I see it. Unless she just placed it here. Did she want me to find it? What is this silly little card? I hate that I donāt know what it means. I hear a creak on the floor. I look. Itās my daughter. She caught me standing with this card between my fingers. She simply smiles. My daughter has been acting strange. Ā