Aske wrote:
ive been to one like you described with church, burial and a gathering of family and friends, one where we just visited and sat w the body for a while before it got cremated, and one ash spreading ceremony
i thought the ash spreading ceremony was really beautiful, we did it at sea by the place he felt most at home, listened to his favourite songs and spread flowers
the one where we visited before the cremation was nice too, i had never seen a dead body before so i was a bit unsettled at first but honestly thats the death i feel like ive had the most closure with. dead people look really dead, seeing it made it more real and final and ive accepted it in a way that i never will with the two others. they feel like theyre supposed to be alive, thats all i know them as, while she feels like shes supposed to be dead idk if that makes any sense at all
the church funeral just felt cold and procedural and and the priest was talking nonsense. then we dropped her in the ground and ate cake like idk, it just wasnt for her, it was all for our own comfort
i see a funeral as the last time you get spend together with the person, not as something that happens after they've left so the other two were so much more meaningful