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General < General
does the guy think we went on a date
Private
International Star



xbabyspiderz wrote:
genuine question bc? in early september i hung out with someone that invited me for dinner, i was like nice so i said "we should hang out some time soon" bc i was being polite (and in my world soon can mean anything btwn weeks to months, like its something u say right?? or did i misunderstand that too)

he invired me to some event a few days after and i didn't go to that

thEn he was like hey do you wanna hang out (all of this with just like a few days in between)and i was like oh sorry i'm not really in a state to socialise

then immediately when i posted a story ab apt stuff he sent me someone renting out near him, also all the while being very "how are you doing?" like we're close (mind u i've only met him one time outside of eating dinner with himand we've never rly messaged). i don't usually share very personal details with people im not close with, so i just said im fine and whatever

then he waited like one week and asked me to do smthn again and i just ignored the message for like 10 days and moved him to general bc i got overwhelmed and i was starting to feel like is he interested in me even though  basically said when meeting him at dinner that it wasn't a dateand lowkey aired my thoughts about not being into men?? at least i think so??? but i just felt like it was getting a bit demanding to my brain in a way that is like, does he want to be friends or did he misunderstand something??

i then said hey sorry im very PDA so im very slow w messages and he waited a week to respond to that at least but then he started reacting to my stories (he literally just said and emoji then another time literally just  "hey" when i posted a story 😭😭😭 so i removed him from seeing my stories lmao)

and now i see him again in my inbox from 2 hrs ago saying hey how u doing and im like AHHHHHH WHAT DOES HE WANT FROM ME so yeah

is he interested? shud i ghost him? shud i tell him to f off
18
Posts: 6158
Date: 15-12-2025 23:55
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Streetmusician



kruspersille wrote:
w the amnt of effort he is putting in i would say he seems interested yea 
14
Posts: 59665
Date: 16-12-2025 00:03
MissLondon
World Famous



MissLondon wrote:
The question is, are YOU interested lol
20
Posts: 28005
Date: 16-12-2025 00:07
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meilin wrote:
yeah he's def interested and not in the friendly way 
18
Posts: 13368
Date: 16-12-2025 00:14
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National Star



Dew wrote:
If you told him you weren't into men and he's still being kinda pushy you can absolutely ghost him.

I think the general consensus for ghosting being 'bad' is if you really know a person, but if you hardly know him - you don't owe him anything, let alone communication lol. You can block him and stop responding if talking to him annoys you and you're not interested. 
19
Posts: 6669
Date: 16-12-2025 00:41
Private
Minister of Pop



Azriel wrote:
To play devils advocate maybe he just really wants to make a friend and thought u were cool
20
Posts: 38711
Date: 16-12-2025 00:47
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xbabyspiderz wrote:
kruspersille wrote:
w the amnt of effort he is putting in i would say he seems interested yea 
:cry but why even when i bluntly said  im not interested in men AND also said i never know when ppl have asked me on dates because i exclusively think of people as friends unless they directly say they are interested
18
Posts: 6158
Date: 16-12-2025 02:49
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xbabyspiderz wrote:
Azriel wrote:
To play devils advocate maybe he just really wants to make a friend and thought u were cool
but why would he send me pics of nsfw protection tool with cheeky ish message bc ive never experienced any friends do that. also he likes adult candy and spirituality type and im very not like that so idk if we're even compatible as friends??? like im okay w ppl that do it occasinally but if theyre totally into a lifestyle centred around stuff like that i get a little bit like hm i might be too judgmental to be ur friend??
18
Posts: 6158
Date: 16-12-2025 02:54
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xbabyspiderz wrote:
MissLondon wrote:
The question is, are YOU interested lol
absolutely not, if i am ever dating a man again it HAS to be Wonho and i doubt that hes showing up on my door unannounced

also i think ive been very confused ab my sexuality bc i think i like the *idea* of men, but real men actually repulse me in that way??
18
Posts: 6158
Date: 16-12-2025 02:57
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xbabyspiderz wrote:
meilin wrote:
yeah he's def interested and not in the friendly way 
:cry
18
Posts: 6158
Date: 16-12-2025 02:57
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International Star



xbabyspiderz wrote:
Dew wrote:
If you told him you weren't into men and he's still being kinda pushy you can absolutely ghost him.

I think the general consensus for ghosting being 'bad' is if you really know a person, but if you hardly know him - you don't owe him anything, let alone communication lol. You can block him and stop responding if talking to him annoys you and you're not interested. 
hmm yes i mean i did reject him more than once and tell him that im not in a space to socialise too much ++ and i think most ppl would take that and not bother especially since we're not close and there hasn't been put any effort (except for the repeated hey and how are you doing rip) into this relation. ive been as dry as can be i think even i wudve taken the hint at this point :cry and im really dense w hints
18
Posts: 6158
Date: 16-12-2025 03:02
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xbabyspiderz wrote:
like u know when u r just like, polite but not friendly??? ive tried to be like that T_T why try harder if i dont even have capacity to have a conversation w u!! love urself a little mr guy!!
18
Posts: 6158
Date: 16-12-2025 03:04
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xbabyspiderz wrote:
to add to the train of thought, i am not over josefine at all and i probably won't be over her in a long time esp since we live together and stuff gets confusing that way. also he knows all of that so im kinda like bruh.. if he was just being friendly thats cool, but if hes interested im getting big ick because if someone's going thru shit like that u leave them the space to heal. nothing good comes out of being like damn i finally have a chance!!! time to strike while the irons hot!!! if someone is mourning a 7 year relationship and is telling u that
18
Posts: 6158
Date: 16-12-2025 03:11
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International Star



meilin wrote:
xbabyspiderz wrote:
MissLondon wrote:
The question is, are YOU interested lol
absolutely not, if i am ever dating a man again it HAS to be Wonho and i doubt that hes showing up on my door unannounced

also i think ive been very confused ab my sexuality bc i think i like the *idea* of men, but real men actually repulse me in that way??
some men don't take that seriously or, worse, think they're an exception. you said you think you wouldn't be compatible as friends either, maybe you could write a polite message about that or say that you don't have time for new people in your life right now? if you don't want to address his crush. but imo blocking would also be fine
18
Posts: 13368
Date: 16-12-2025 10:56
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