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Gift reciprocity
Private
Youtube Star



devilcake wrote:
How do you guys deal with recieving a gift from someone you did not get a gift for (for Christmas or a birthday or whenever society expects gift exchange). 

it makes me so anxious cos I only give gifts if it’s been agreed upon beforehand, except maybe to my mom .
moms hubby sometimes gets me Christmas and birthdaygifts but I don’t get him stuff unless it’s joint with my mom n I always feel so bad 😫 even if he don’t expect anything like it adds a whole other layer of gift exchanges n I already struggle with that grrr
19
Posts: 193110
Date: 23-12-2025 17:12
Private
Popstar



Melody wrote:
i um. i never give gifts, i never have- for anything or anyone 

still my family insists on giving me a bunch each year and i feel so terrible abt it but they're like "it's okay you spending time with us is good enough :-)" which i don't believe but since it's been like this for my entire life i guess they're honest abt it

idk why but i feel like giving gifts is weird... like if you wanna help someone then just give them the thing when they need it... why wait for a special day. something abt my brain being wired wrong
19
Posts: 8713
Date: 23-12-2025 17:20
Private
Minister of Pop



Heartbroken wrote:
i've felt a little bad the last couple years when my uncle or my aunt has given me gift and i know i dont have anything for their children as dad's stopped buying for them once they reached a certain age. but everytime ive tried to be like aw shit ): is there anything i can buy for them my grandparents have just been like no you dont need to get them anything, its not the children giving you something. so i just feel bad for a lil bit and then move on ig
20
Posts: 40108
Date: 23-12-2025 17:24
SadBread
Minister of Pop



SadBread wrote:
I usually "make up" for it by giving people random gifts through out the year
18
Posts: 3123
Date: 23-12-2025 17:42
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devilcake wrote:
Melody wrote:
i um. i never give gifts, i never have- for anything or anyone 

still my family insists on giving me a bunch each year and i feel so terrible abt it but they're like "it's okay you spending time with us is good enough :-)" which i don't believe but since it's been like this for my entire life i guess they're honest abt it

idk why but i feel like giving gifts is weird... like if you wanna help someone then just give them the thing when they need it... why wait for a special day. something abt my brain being wired wrong
I don’t really enjoy the tradition either except for it being a good excuse for like hand made gifts n stuff that is fun to me 
19
Posts: 193110
Date: 23-12-2025 17:42
Private
Popstar



ouch wrote:
I don't gift anyone anything n I get presents from everyone, its whatever, they are aware I'm not getting them anything lol
16
Posts: 95600
Date: 23-12-2025 17:43
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devilcake wrote:
Heartbroken wrote:
i've felt a little bad the last couple years when my uncle or my aunt has given me gift and i know i dont have anything for their children as dad's stopped buying for them once they reached a certain age. but everytime ive tried to be like aw shit ): is there anything i can buy for them my grandparents have just been like no you dont need to get them anything, its not the children giving you something. so i just feel bad for a lil bit and then move on ig
I wishbone could let it go I ruminate on it every time I use Eric’s gifts 😭
19
Posts: 193110
Date: 23-12-2025 17:43
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devilcake wrote:
SadBread wrote:
I usually "make up" for it by giving people random gifts through out the year
More gifts….
19
Posts: 193110
Date: 23-12-2025 17:43
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Youtube Star



devilcake wrote:
Wishbone….
19
Posts: 193110
Date: 23-12-2025 17:43
SadBread
Minister of Pop



SadBread wrote:
devilcake wrote:
SadBread wrote:
I usually "make up" for it by giving people random gifts through out the year
More gifts….
I like giving gifts way more than receiving, so when im at like conventions and stuff I usually pick something out for my friends to gift them🙂‍↕️
18
Posts: 3123
Date: 23-12-2025 17:45
MissLondon
World Famous



MissLondon wrote:
It depends on the giver and what's given
20
Posts: 28039
Date: 23-12-2025 18:32
Aske
Prince of Pop



Aske wrote:
i dont feel bad, expecting smn back when giving a gift goes against the concept of giving gifts, thats a trade 
id feel bad if it's someone i usually give gifts too but i didnt get around to that year, but thats not because of reciprocity 
20
Posts: 13756
Date: 23-12-2025 18:39
Private
Minister of Pop



Heartbroken wrote:
devilcake wrote:
Heartbroken wrote:
i've felt a little bad the last couple years when my uncle or my aunt has given me gift and i know i dont have anything for their children as dad's stopped buying for them once they reached a certain age. but everytime ive tried to be like aw shit ): is there anything i can buy for them my grandparents have just been like no you dont need to get them anything, its not the children giving you something. so i just feel bad for a lil bit and then move on ig
I wishbone could let it go I ruminate on it every time I use Eric’s gifts 😭
i think i dont have this issue bc uncle usually gives me moomin mugs and they're just in my closet rn bc i dont live alone anymore so i dont see them all the time ghfjdk
20
Posts: 40108
Date: 23-12-2025 19:06
Private
World Famous



remains wrote:
everyone in my family shares an understanding that none of us need to give anything back. instead of yule or birthdays i try to make something special and give it when i can
if i had friends i could shop yule gifts for, i would. i love giving gifts


this actually reminded me i need to give my grandma's gift a finish so it can dry properly when i go visit..,,
22
Posts: 41304
Date: 23-12-2025 19:13
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Youtube Star



devilcake wrote:
Heartbroken wrote:
devilcake wrote:
Heartbroken wrote:
i've felt a little bad the last couple years when my uncle or my aunt has given me gift and i know i dont have anything for their children as dad's stopped buying for them once they reached a certain age. but everytime ive tried to be like aw shit ): is there anything i can buy for them my grandparents have just been like no you dont need to get them anything, its not the children giving you something. so i just feel bad for a lil bit and then move on ig
I wishbone could let it go I ruminate on it every time I use Eric’s gifts 😭
i think i dont have this issue bc uncle usually gives me moomin mugs and they're just in my closet rn bc i dont live alone anymore so i dont see them all the time ghfjdk
Thieves what Eric gets me but i use mine 😭
19
Posts: 193110
Date: 23-12-2025 19:16
Private
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devilcake wrote:
Thats
19
Posts: 193110
Date: 23-12-2025 19:16
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