0
0
0
0
To join the forums you need to be logged in.
Lemon wrote:
after a whole month of studying in a different city, today i came back to my hometown to my family. my mom was with the other family members in the mountain house. i came back by bus, 12 hours. i braided my hair 2 ponytails on the side because it gets tangled during travel and i hate it. i wore my red heel crocs because they are comfy af during travels. i had long nails. yes these are important.
my dad came to get me from the bus station and we went home. then he went to work. i spent the whole day sleeping because the travel tired me out. in the afternoon, my dad came home, probably intoxicated with alcohol. he bought me oats, cereal and milk because he knows i am having troubles eating. then he said "i will buy you new shoes okay, dont ever wear those ugly shoes." i told him i like those shoes. then he said "look i bought you these and im taking care of you. so listen to me and dont wear those shoes, take care of your hair and cut your nails"
to which i responded by explaining, "crocs are comfy i like them. i did my hair like this because i did not want it to get tangled. and i wont cut my nails they are having a hard time growing anyways" then he was silent for 5-10 mins.
then i heard some crashing sound and wifi was gone. i asked him why did you turn it off? he started being mean. "i have had enough of you. stop disrespecting me. i did everything i could for you. you look ratty. you know how much i loved you, but i dont anymore. it is all done. if you are gonna look like that just go kill yourself."
then i got sad and asked him what did i do so bad, n that i was gonna put wifi up. he threatened me, "if you have that confidence do it."
at some point he told me, "the balcony is right there for you. if you want to do it that much, do it. jump off." i went to the balcony and looked down. i decided i would not die if i jumped off, so i told him "no if i jump off i will not die. i will rather cut myself." then i went to my room.
i came back, i cried n asked him what did i do. why are you so mad? why do you hate me? he said im trying to guilttrip him by crying. he kept telling me to go kill myself so i screamed, "THEN I WILL DO IT SO IT WILL ALL END. I HOPE YOU WILL HAVE TO WATCH ME DIE IN AGONY IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES, I HOPE YOU WATCH ME DIE"
then silence. i went to my room. he left home. i texted me brother about it n he decided to come take me away.
when my dad came home, he said, "pack your things and go. you are kicked out of the house. if you do this to me then i dont want you. you and i are now not related. you know how much i love you, but it is done."
i packed up. brother came. he told him, "take this disrespectful thing away. Look at me. Fuck off. dont come back unless you apologize. i will empty your room tomorrow."
i did nothing wrong.
all my family is mad at me for looking bad, not taking care of myself. not shaping up, getting better and wise like people my age. but you know what? today, my only goal for today was to wash my face and brush my teeth. survive. take care of myself. i even forced myself to eat because i wanted to get better. i feel so shitty now. whats the point? my dad knew how heartbroken i was at my mom for telling me to kill myself. he know that point, that scar. he still did it.
after a whole month of studying in a different city, today i came back to my hometown to my family. my mom was with the other family members in the mountain house. i came back by bus, 12 hours. i braided my hair 2 ponytails on the side because it gets tangled during travel and i hate it. i wore my red heel crocs because they are comfy af during travels. i had long nails. yes these are important.
my dad came to get me from the bus station and we went home. then he went to work. i spent the whole day sleeping because the travel tired me out. in the afternoon, my dad came home, probably intoxicated with alcohol. he bought me oats, cereal and milk because he knows i am having troubles eating. then he said "i will buy you new shoes okay, dont ever wear those ugly shoes." i told him i like those shoes. then he said "look i bought you these and im taking care of you. so listen to me and dont wear those shoes, take care of your hair and cut your nails"
to which i responded by explaining, "crocs are comfy i like them. i did my hair like this because i did not want it to get tangled. and i wont cut my nails they are having a hard time growing anyways" then he was silent for 5-10 mins.
then i heard some crashing sound and wifi was gone. i asked him why did you turn it off? he started being mean. "i have had enough of you. stop disrespecting me. i did everything i could for you. you look ratty. you know how much i loved you, but i dont anymore. it is all done. if you are gonna look like that just go kill yourself."
then i got sad and asked him what did i do so bad, n that i was gonna put wifi up. he threatened me, "if you have that confidence do it."
at some point he told me, "the balcony is right there for you. if you want to do it that much, do it. jump off." i went to the balcony and looked down. i decided i would not die if i jumped off, so i told him "no if i jump off i will not die. i will rather cut myself." then i went to my room.
i came back, i cried n asked him what did i do. why are you so mad? why do you hate me? he said im trying to guilttrip him by crying. he kept telling me to go kill myself so i screamed, "THEN I WILL DO IT SO IT WILL ALL END. I HOPE YOU WILL HAVE TO WATCH ME DIE IN AGONY IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES, I HOPE YOU WATCH ME DIE"
then silence. i went to my room. he left home. i texted me brother about it n he decided to come take me away.
when my dad came home, he said, "pack your things and go. you are kicked out of the house. if you do this to me then i dont want you. you and i are now not related. you know how much i love you, but it is done."
i packed up. brother came. he told him, "take this disrespectful thing away. Look at me. Fuck off. dont come back unless you apologize. i will empty your room tomorrow."
i did nothing wrong.
all my family is mad at me for looking bad, not taking care of myself. not shaping up, getting better and wise like people my age. but you know what? today, my only goal for today was to wash my face and brush my teeth. survive. take care of myself. i even forced myself to eat because i wanted to get better. i feel so shitty now. whats the point? my dad knew how heartbroken i was at my mom for telling me to kill myself. he know that point, that scar. he still did it.
18
Drunk or not if my family ever talked to me like that I would never see them again. 
