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Juniper wrote:
Tell me why I really just wrote a whole essay on vp.... 🤦‍♀️

cult wrote:
I'm sorry for not giving you as good of an answer as i got from you i really did read your text and it confirmed my thoughts so validly i'm just really unable to express myself or my thoughts right now as proper as i feel but just know that i really appreciate and needed that

Juniper wrote:
No you’re okay I just can’t stand myself sometimes, I need to limit myself to 4 sentences or smth and stop over sharing 

Teito wrote:
That does not sound healthy at all. I'd recommend you to not hope for it to be saved, cuz that is not a healthy friendship no more. I can't really tell you what to do since I have just only gotten one side of the story explained (yours) and I don't really wanna doom a friendship that means much to you and maybe even her. 

But I can mayb tell you lil about my own experience with a real shitty best friend: so my ex-bestie was not a very good friend, she was very manipulative and at some point she even had me wrapped around her lil finger. It took me a while to see it for what it really was: she used and abused me. She would make me prioritize her and help her out at all times of the day, but I was never very high up on her prio-list. So took me this summer to actually see it at dump her ass. I texted her and told her how I felt abt this whole messed up relationship and then I just up and blocked her on every social media and text-apps, so that she couldnt reach me. I was hopin for her to mayb show up at my door to mayb explain and try to fix this, but no she never showed and up and I just kinda slowly let it go. It hurts, like fr it hurts so fuckin much, but since it was for the better I forced myself to let it go and to get used not havin her around. 

yeee basically if she/he not good for you, let them go. Cause not all the people you'll meet or introduce in to your life will stay, or have a positive impact. Some are supposed to be kicked out. 

Anachronism wrote:
Ok first of all, stop blaming yourself. I dont think it's your responsibility to tell her you were having a panic attack. It's pretty obvious something is not right when a person experiences one, and it can be hard to communicate during one as well. If she was too busy hanging with her friends to not check on you while that was happening, it's clear her priorities are skewed. 

I'm sorry you planned going to university to be with your friend and shit ended up not going as intended, but at this point you have to see uni as a place for you primarily. Dont expect anything, as devastating as it is. Redirect your vision for uni and find a way to get the most out if it that doesn't involve this chick. 

I have social anxiety too. I know how hard it is to make friends irl with the condition, and I've also clung to toxic people because it beat being alone and I was too scared to branch out and meet other people. I dont know you but it sounds like you have low self esteem. If that's the case practice self acceptance. It doesnt happen overnight but keep at it and you'll shine. 

Are you involved in any clubs or extracurriculars at your uni?

cult wrote:
even though i agree on the first part it's not really her "role" to make sure i'm comfortable at all times even though she probably shouldn't have run away with the other girls the second she had the chance 

the thing is, i was involved with activities at uni or i was supposed to, like today was the first day, but after experiencing it i just never wanna do it again. she's involved in part of it. i really don't want to keep oging

Anachronism wrote:
I didnt say it was her role to worry about your wellbeing at all times. I'm just floored you were ignored during a panic attack. They are very physical and despite being non-life-threatening, they are easily mistaken for medical emergencies. Reaching out or calling for help is the responsible thing to do when someone is experiencing a crisis. Panic attacks are very serious. 

As for the letter, I'd tell him you are grateful to be given such a position, but need to resign due to medical issues. Keep it brief. And see if ur uni has other options. Check out the school bulletin. Distance yourself from toxic people.