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what the f what the f what the f
Cult
Youtube Star



cult wrote:
i can't believe this. my closest friend n i have went thru lots of different arguments recently because she has a tendency to picks guys over me n treats me bad like just in general. she usually apologizes but continues doing it (for example: https://en.virtualpopstar.com/social/forum?category=2&topic=304366, our recent argument pls read before continuing)

and the thing is. we go to the same uni. she got accepted into a group of people that are in charge of all parties at uni, and i didn't. ever since she did 6 months ago she's been hanging out with that group of ppl all the time, while i haven't.

today was the first time in forever i was seeing my class (cus class activity, not school involved) and i felt like such a loner. my friend immediately walked up to her group of ppl and started talking abt their last party and i felt so bad and i just didn't talk to anyone and she would keep ignoring me even when i tried to say smth and i mean she knows i've got social anxiety and at that point i started panicking real bad. when we got to the place we were heading i sat alone and felt so bad then my sister rang and said she might sleep over at my place so i told someone in charge (not her group) that i had to leave and she hasn't even wrote to me abt it. because she knows i left cus i felt lonely. i don't know... she's not supposed to be a guardian but maybe please check up on me i would've needed it so much today 

i feel so needy i'm gona go
16
Posts: 10077
Date: 15-08-2020 18:12 | Times changed: 3
Cult
Youtube Star



cult wrote:
i beg y'all i know it's a lot of text but please read please tell me your thoughts cus i have nowhere to turn i don't have any friends left
16
Posts: 10077
Date: 15-08-2020 18:15
Juniper
Popstar



Juniper wrote:
It really sounds like she treats you this way bc she knows she can... there always needs to be a boundary between you and friends. You need to love yourself more than you love them, and only give them things (time, energy, gifts etc) if it doesn’t negatively impact yourself. (Vice versa too, you shouldn’t take things from friends if it negatively impacts them.)

This girl clearly knows that you care for her and based on the way she treats you, she doesn’t care much for you at all. Distance yourself from her and if she doesn’t try to fix things, you are much better off without her. Sometimes there’s no saving friendships or relationships, especially if it doesn’t start out right. Idk how your friendship started, but the moment it started going down hill it would have been good to draw a line and have her respect your feelings. 
18
Posts: 5462
Date: 15-08-2020 18:37
Cult
Youtube Star



cult wrote:
Juniper wrote:
It really sounds like she treats you this way bc she knows she can... there always needs to be a boundary between you and friends. You need to love yourself more than you love them, and only give them things (time, energy, gifts etc) if it doesn’t negatively impact yourself. (Vice versa too, you shouldn’t take things from friends if it negatively impacts them.)

This girl clearly knows that you care for her and based on the way she treats you, she doesn’t care much for you at all. Distance yourself from her and if she doesn’t try to fix things, you are much better off without her. Sometimes there’s no saving friendships or relationships, especially if it doesn’t start out right. Idk how your friendship started, but the moment it started going down hill it would have been good to draw a line and have her respect your feelings. 
Thank you so much for your input
16
Posts: 10077
Date: 15-08-2020 18:43
Private
International Star



Raquelle wrote:
Damn you need some new friends
she’s being an ass and on purpose
she knows you need her but she doesn’t care 
if you can in any way gather the courage go and talk to some new people 
20
Posts: 39262
Date: 15-08-2020 18:46
Cult
Youtube Star



cult wrote:
Raquelle wrote:
Damn you need some new friends
she’s being an ass and on purpose
she knows you need her but she doesn’t care 
if you can in any way gather the courage go and talk to some new people 
Thank you so much guys i feel like i really needed confirmation because i feel like a needy mess right now and i know i'll get questioned for it and i really feel like i can't collect my thoughts properly right now and your explanations really help me 
16
Posts: 10077
Date: 15-08-2020 18:55
MissLondon
World Famous



MissLondon wrote:
She's not a friend, she's a crutch.. and not even a reliable one. 
This is your time to grow girl, take baby steps if you to and branch out socially, meet people!
If not, expect the same to happen 
again and again
Good luck!
20
Posts: 27955
Date: 15-08-2020 19:00
Private
Princess of Pop



Arthema wrote:
you're not needy
you're a human being that wants company and relationships and that's super valid and natural,
we're social as human beings and we want at least 1 close person that we can lean on.
you seriously need to let go of her,
this is not a friend,
you deserve a lot better... like really a lot better
17
Posts: 39182
Date: 15-08-2020 19:04
Cult
Youtube Star



cult wrote:
MissLondon wrote:
She's not a friend, she's a crutch.. and not even a reliable one. 
This is your time to grow girl, take baby steps if you to and branch out socially, meet people!
If not, expect the same to happen 
again and again
Good luck!
thank you for your input.


the thing is, i really feel like i probably should have let her know when i had my first panic attack. that's really on me, maybe if she would've known she would've not ignored me, even though i strongly think she would just shrug it off as usual it's still something i should've done 
16
Posts: 10077
Date: 15-08-2020 19:07
Cult
Youtube Star



cult wrote:
Abby wrote:
you're not needy
you're a human being that wants company and relationships and that's super valid and natural,
we're social as human beings and we want at least 1 close person that we can lean on.
you seriously need to let go of her,
this is not a friend,
you deserve a lot better... like really a lot better
thank you

i know she will probably ask me tomorrow whats going on or whatever and i know i will feel needy and that's the way she'll describe it too
16
Posts: 10077
Date: 15-08-2020 19:07
Fantasy
World Famous



Fantasy wrote:
wanted to write something too but basically i agree with everything mentioned by the others!
i hope she values you more than i got the feeling of what i've read...cause i can tell you seem to really care for her (i mean heck 500€ for a bday gift IS caring AND EVEN staying for her to just rudely tell you to go away since her crush came...)
16
Posts: 9904
Date: 15-08-2020 19:09
Private
Princess of Pop



Arthema wrote:
cult wrote:
Abby wrote:
you're not needy
you're a human being that wants company and relationships and that's super valid and natural,
we're social as human beings and we want at least 1 close person that we can lean on.
you seriously need to let go of her,
this is not a friend,
you deserve a lot better... like really a lot better
thank you

i know she will probably ask me tomorrow whats going on or whatever and i know i will feel needy and that's the way she'll describe it too
fuck her
and fuck her for trying to make you feel bad!
you shouldn't feel bad for something like this!!
I really understand you because I was in the same situation,
but trust me you'll be MUCH better off without her
she's a leech and she's draining ur energy
17
Posts: 39182
Date: 15-08-2020 19:10
Cult
Youtube Star



cult wrote:
Fantasy wrote:
wanted to write something too but basically i agree with everything mentioned by the others!
i hope she values you more than i got the feeling of what i've read...cause i can tell you seem to really care for her (i mean heck 500€ for a bday gift IS caring AND EVEN staying for her to just rudely tell you to go away since her crush came...)
thank you
i truly feel that i care more for her than she do for me
16
Posts: 10077
Date: 15-08-2020 19:13
Cult
Youtube Star



cult wrote:
Abby wrote:
cult wrote:
Abby wrote:
you're not needy
you're a human being that wants company and relationships and that's super valid and natural,
we're social as human beings and we want at least 1 close person that we can lean on.
you seriously need to let go of her,
this is not a friend,
you deserve a lot better... like really a lot better
thank you

i know she will probably ask me tomorrow whats going on or whatever and i know i will feel needy and that's the way she'll describe it too
fuck her
and fuck her for trying to make you feel bad!
you shouldn't feel bad for something like this!!
I really understand you because I was in the same situation,
but trust me you'll be MUCH better off without her
she's a leech and she's draining ur energy
it's just the hardest thing because our mutual friends are closer to her so now i do really feel like i don't have anyone left and making friends is really hard since i don't really have anywhere to turn. we moved to this city to be able to study together, and now she's all i've got here, the only person i know 
16
Posts: 10077
Date: 15-08-2020 19:16
Private
Princess of Pop



Arthema wrote:
cult wrote:
Abby wrote:
cult wrote:
thank you

i know she will probably ask me tomorrow whats going on or whatever and i know i will feel needy and that's the way she'll describe it too
fuck her
and fuck her for trying to make you feel bad!
you shouldn't feel bad for something like this!!
I really understand you because I was in the same situation,
but trust me you'll be MUCH better off without her
she's a leech and she's draining ur energy
it's just the hardest thing because our mutual friends are closer to her so now i do really feel like i don't have anyone left and making friends is really hard since i don't really have anywhere to turn. we moved to this city to be able to study together, and now she's all i've got here, the only person i know 
tell her that in those words
and explain to her that she's not fair at all by doing so
you're not needy at all, you just deserve a good friend, just like you're to her
and if she'll keep on being like this then byebye
slowly but surely you'll find yours;f new friends
17
Posts: 39182
Date: 15-08-2020 19:18
Juniper
Popstar



Juniper wrote:
cult wrote:
Juniper wrote:
It really sounds like she treats you this way bc she knows she can... there always needs to be a boundary between you and friends. You need to love yourself more than you love them, and only give them things (time, energy, gifts etc) if it doesn’t negatively impact yourself. (Vice versa too, you shouldn’t take things from friends if it negatively impacts them.)

This girl clearly knows that you care for her and based on the way she treats you, she doesn’t care much for you at all. Distance yourself from her and if she doesn’t try to fix things, you are much better off without her. Sometimes there’s no saving friendships or relationships, especially if it doesn’t start out right. Idk how your friendship started, but the moment it started going down hill it would have been good to draw a line and have her respect your feelings. 
Thank you so much for your input
Tell me why I really just wrote a whole essay on vp.... 🤦‍♀️
18
Posts: 5462
Date: 15-08-2020 19:26
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