Kit wrote:
like u said tho that's rly the worst is the combination of guilt and hope like
he's honestly so sad and pathetic, had a rly bad childhood, is completely alone, is just severely limited n incapable of empathy nd its hard not to blame him for that but also idk its like. if he simply cannot empathize w other people like ? its unfair for me to expect him to ? idk it's hard ig bc i'm also mentally ill and disabled and he's worked v hard to convince me basically that if he doesnt deserve good things, help, etc. then i don't either which. is untrue but rly hard to work thru
and the hope oh my god. few weeks ago he kind of almost apologized to me for stuff after his mom died, like idk actually said the words "I'm sorry I did that" which he's never done before and yeah that gave me i think ? way more hope than was warranted bc now he's being shitty again and its like im rly devastated all over again its . yeah
MossPiglet wrote:
My mom is probably diagnosed with npd, because she used therapist and other ppl to try prove everyone's wrong and worthless - but not her - it backlashed and she quit. Bp1 came many years later. And tbh it was hard to cut contact - it's hard but I had to do it. All the manipulation... I feel like the only reason i've been semi- in contact is because of guilt and hope. It never got better and it drained me I've been studying psychology at uni a bit and reading tons, and I know the relationship won't do me any good. It's very unfair to have bad childhood and be almost without any family, but atleast I got my sister and friends. Struggle a lot of that fact, but i'd struggle more if I let them in my life again.
Hope you find peace and people supporting you, it's hard.
ahhh yh, thank u Kit wrote:
but yeah ive been trying to cut him off since i was like 14/15 but idk part of me also still really wants to have some kidn of relationship w him or like. idk a relationship with a father figure at all tbh but my mom's bf isn't interested so
but every time we exchange emails its ok for like 1-2 replies and then idk he purposefully misinterprets smth i say or literally does the exact opposite of what i asked him to do and then gets super defensive n accusatory
and like idk i jsut rly dont think he understands even now that like. he was not the victim in this scenario nd he wasnt like. oh poor pathetic him he was abandoned by his family bc he's disabled/mentally ill or whatever but thats still the story he tells himself ? instead of he literally abused his family so bad for so long ?
MossPiglet wrote:
oh my god... Npd parent, RUN is all I got to say.
My mother has npd and bp1, cut her off soon as I got old enough.
My childhoos was abusive borth physically and mentally Lots of therapy now and much happier without them.
yh my dad's also bp1 but wont get diagnosed w npd bc narcissists rarely do lmfaooh my god... Npd parent, RUN is all I got to say.
My mother has npd and bp1, cut her off soon as I got old enough.
My childhoos was abusive borth physically and mentally Lots of therapy now and much happier without them.
but yeah ive been trying to cut him off since i was like 14/15 but idk part of me also still really wants to have some kidn of relationship w him or like. idk a relationship with a father figure at all tbh but my mom's bf isn't interested so
but every time we exchange emails its ok for like 1-2 replies and then idk he purposefully misinterprets smth i say or literally does the exact opposite of what i asked him to do and then gets super defensive n accusatory
and like idk i jsut rly dont think he understands even now that like. he was not the victim in this scenario nd he wasnt like. oh poor pathetic him he was abandoned by his family bc he's disabled/mentally ill or whatever but thats still the story he tells himself ? instead of he literally abused his family so bad for so long ?
My mom is probably diagnosed with npd, because she used therapist and other ppl to try prove everyone's wrong and worthless - but not her - it backlashed and she quit. Bp1 came many years later. And tbh it was hard to cut contact - it's hard but I had to do it. All the manipulation... I feel like the only reason i've been semi- in contact is because of guilt and hope. It never got better and it drained me I've been studying psychology at uni a bit and reading tons, and I know the relationship won't do me any good. It's very unfair to have bad childhood and be almost without any family, but atleast I got my sister and friends. Struggle a lot of that fact, but i'd struggle more if I let them in my life again.
Hope you find peace and people supporting you, it's hard.

he's honestly so sad and pathetic, had a rly bad childhood, is completely alone, is just severely limited n incapable of empathy nd its hard not to blame him for that but also idk its like. if he simply cannot empathize w other people like ? its unfair for me to expect him to ? idk it's hard ig bc i'm also mentally ill and disabled and he's worked v hard to convince me basically that if he doesnt deserve good things, help, etc. then i don't either which. is untrue but rly hard to work thru
and the hope oh my god. few weeks ago he kind of almost apologized to me for stuff after his mom died, like idk actually said the words "I'm sorry I did that" which he's never done before and yeah that gave me i think ? way more hope than was warranted bc now he's being shitty again and its like im rly devastated all over again its . yeah