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To prioritise love
Private
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Claire wrote:
Saintal wrote:
Claire wrote:
Saintal wrote:
I guess if both people have careers they really care about, that makes them feel fulfilled and happy and the opportunity meant the both of them have to move for example. or if the job isn't even in the same country. and if you prioritise work over love I guess that's also why a job opportunity would be a reason to end a relationship. that one decide to say yes to the opportunity and tells their partner that either they tag along, moving where the job is, or it ends. or if the job means that one wouldn't have any free time, or something like that 
if i have a job offer that moves me to another country then they can do something for my spouse. you see this a lot with college professors where they hire a spouse as part of the deal to get the professor to their college. 

idk me and doug are partners if i have an opportunity that means he has an opportunity.
I guess you prioritise love very highly then
Im saying I don’t have to. 
21
Posts: 55674
Date: 23-11-2020 21:32
Private
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Rotte wrote:
Claire wrote:
Saintal wrote:
Claire wrote:
if i have a job offer that moves me to another country then they can do something for my spouse. you see this a lot with college professors where they hire a spouse as part of the deal to get the professor to their college. 

idk me and doug are partners if i have an opportunity that means he has an opportunity.
I guess you prioritise love very highly then
Im saying I don’t have to. 
It goes hand in hand 
21
Posts: 70325
Date: 23-11-2020 21:33
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Evey wrote:
Rowan wrote:
idk i dont rlly do the love thing w relationships 
im prob gonna have to move away from my family for work in a few years tho, I think about that a lot bbut yeah, def picking work over my famly, but that's not a breakup or whatever of course
yeah, family will kind of always be there and that's kinda very fucking nice ahah. but I understand that you think about it a lot, it's a big life change..
17
Posts: 8503
Date: 23-11-2020 21:33
Private
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Evey wrote:
Claire wrote:
Saintal wrote:
Claire wrote:
if i have a job offer that moves me to another country then they can do something for my spouse. you see this a lot with college professors where they hire a spouse as part of the deal to get the professor to their college. 

idk me and doug are partners if i have an opportunity that means he has an opportunity.
I guess you prioritise love very highly then
Im saying I don’t have to. 
well not all jobs give that opportunity, that you can take your spouse with you for example. so there, you kind of would have to no? sorry if i'm misunderstanding
17
Posts: 8503
Date: 23-11-2020 21:34
Private
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Versailles wrote:
Saintal wrote:
Marcelien wrote:
i would not break up with my boyfriend for a million dollars. he is my rock, my supportsystem, and i dont think i could handle my life without him.
Hmm

I am with a great guy that I love very much and have never been this in love with someone, or the idea of love, ever. At the same time, I have a great strive to become the best version of myself and to always be ready to live on my own, by myself, if the relationship goes to shit/he dies or whatever. I think about this scenario a lot, like with most things. I see the worst scenario and don't wanna jump into things where I couldn't take that worst.

..So I am amazed that a lot of you seems to know exactly how you would prioritise in these situations. I guess I am happy for you all, that you see things so clearly! 

If you get good job opportunity and question the relatonship, it's very much sign it's more appealing and important for you. I think if the person is really you want to dedicate a future with one it wouldn't be a question.
Follow what you feel like is the best for you. 
Do you guys live together? would it be possible for them to move with you near the job?
20
Posts: 6859
Date: 23-11-2020 21:35
Private
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Claire wrote:
Saintal wrote:
Claire wrote:
Saintal wrote:
I guess you prioritise love very highly then
Im saying I don’t have to. 
well not all jobs give that opportunity, that you can take your spouse with you for example. so there, you kind of would have to no? sorry if i'm misunderstanding
If it’s an opportunity for me then it’s an opportunity for us. If it’s not an opportunity for both of us then it’s not an opportunity. 
21
Posts: 55674
Date: 23-11-2020 21:36
Private
Youtube star



devilcake wrote:
Saintal wrote:
devilcake wrote:
i mean i don't value a job or career that high but i also don't think love is my like highest highest priority ? it all depends on what u compare it too.
Very interesting!! Is there something you prioritise higher than career and love? 
Comfort, mainly, like for example i wouldn't move anywhere for someone i loved i don't think, it'd have to be somewhere i would be comfortable being.

also assuming we're talking about romantic love, i think i'd put platonic love higher, like i wouldn't date anyone if it messed with the friends and family i care about, or like if they'd want me to get rid of my cat....... like i don't care how hard i've fallen for someone id never give up my kitty... things like that.
19
Posts: 186576
Date: 23-11-2020 21:36
Private
Popstar



Marcelien wrote:
Saintal wrote:
Marcelien wrote:
i would not break up with my boyfriend for a million dollars. he is my rock, my supportsystem, and i dont think i could handle my life without him.
Hmm

I am with a great guy that I love very much and have never been this in love with someone, or the idea of love, ever. At the same time, I have a great strive to become the best version of myself and to always be ready to live on my own, by myself, if the relationship goes to shit/he dies or whatever. I think about this scenario a lot, like with most things. I see the worst scenario and don't wanna jump into things where I couldn't take that worst.

..So I am amazed that a lot of you seems to know exactly how you would prioritise in these situations. I guess I am happy for you all, that you see things so clearly! 
im also a "fellow overthinker" but ive learned to not think about things like that too hard. i give myself anxiety attacks by thinking about losing someone i love, like my parents or my boyfriend.

when it comes to the part about "strive to become the best version of myself", i think that i AM the best version of myself when im with him. he lets me be myself to the fullest. he doesnt always understand it, but he loves me. i also wanna be able to take care of myself, which is why im making sure i get an education that is meaningful and try to get a job that is fulfilling and pays the bills if i were to ever be a single mother. but i also wanna have a good income to make the best possible life for me and him (and future family).

we lived apart for a year in 2018/2019, cus we went to schools at the opposite sides of the country (i was far up north in norway, he was as south as possible in norway), and it worked out well. it ended up only being for a year, but it was possible it was for 6-7 years. cus i wanted to take a psychologist degree there, and i would have to stay there the entire time. but then we planned he could get a job up there, and we would eventually move back to where we wanted to be. luckily i changed my mind about the education.
i dont think i would ever take a job where i would lose someone. like claire said: its either both of us, or none of us. we love each other too much, and need each other too much to give up something so strong.

lol, sorry for the rant.
19
Posts: 10487
Date: 23-11-2020 21:36
Gilmore
World famous



Gilmore wrote:
I'd put anything aside for it if it was genuinely real. 
19
Posts: 5484
Date: 23-11-2020 21:37
Account deleted




wrote:
I'm not prioritizing any of this, I think. 
Date: 23-11-2020 21:38
Private
World famous



Evey wrote:
MossPiglet wrote:
Saintal wrote:
Marcelien wrote:
i would not break up with my boyfriend for a million dollars. he is my rock, my supportsystem, and i dont think i could handle my life without him.
Hmm

I am with a great guy that I love very much and have never been this in love with someone, or the idea of love, ever. At the same time, I have a great strive to become the best version of myself and to always be ready to live on my own, by myself, if the relationship goes to shit/he dies or whatever. I think about this scenario a lot, like with most things. I see the worst scenario and don't wanna jump into things where I couldn't take that worst.

..So I am amazed that a lot of you seems to know exactly how you would prioritise in these situations. I guess I am happy for you all, that you see things so clearly! 

If you get good job opportunity and question the relatonship, it's very much sign it's more appealing and important for you. I think if the person is really you want to dedicate a future with one it wouldn't be a question.
Follow what you feel like is the best for you. 
Do you guys live together? would it be possible for them to move with you near the job?
I'm not in this situation, just to point it out. With the opportunity I mean. I'm just thinking about... values in general. Priorities. 
17
Posts: 8503
Date: 23-11-2020 21:38
Private
World famous



Evey wrote:
Claire wrote:
Saintal wrote:
Claire wrote:
Im saying I don’t have to. 
well not all jobs give that opportunity, that you can take your spouse with you for example. so there, you kind of would have to no? sorry if i'm misunderstanding
If it’s an opportunity for me then it’s an opportunity for us. If it’s not an opportunity for both of us then it’s not an opportunity. 
Ah alright!
17
Posts: 8503
Date: 23-11-2020 21:39
Private
World famous



Evey wrote:
Marcelien wrote:
Saintal wrote:
Marcelien wrote:
i would not break up with my boyfriend for a million dollars. he is my rock, my supportsystem, and i dont think i could handle my life without him.
Hmm

I am with a great guy that I love very much and have never been this in love with someone, or the idea of love, ever. At the same time, I have a great strive to become the best version of myself and to always be ready to live on my own, by myself, if the relationship goes to shit/he dies or whatever. I think about this scenario a lot, like with most things. I see the worst scenario and don't wanna jump into things where I couldn't take that worst.

..So I am amazed that a lot of you seems to know exactly how you would prioritise in these situations. I guess I am happy for you all, that you see things so clearly! 
im also a "fellow overthinker" but ive learned to not think about things like that too hard. i give myself anxiety attacks by thinking about losing someone i love, like my parents or my boyfriend.

when it comes to the part about "strive to become the best version of myself", i think that i AM the best version of myself when im with him. he lets me be myself to the fullest. he doesnt always understand it, but he loves me. i also wanna be able to take care of myself, which is why im making sure i get an education that is meaningful and try to get a job that is fulfilling and pays the bills if i were to ever be a single mother. but i also wanna have a good income to make the best possible life for me and him (and future family).

we lived apart for a year in 2018/2019, cus we went to schools at the opposite sides of the country (i was far up north in norway, he was as south as possible in norway), and it worked out well. it ended up only being for a year, but it was possible it was for 6-7 years. cus i wanted to take a psychologist degree there, and i would have to stay there the entire time. but then we planned he could get a job up there, and we would eventually move back to where we wanted to be. luckily i changed my mind about the education.
i dont think i would ever take a job where i would lose someone. like claire said: its either both of us, or none of us. we love each other too much, and need each other too much to give up something so strong.

lol, sorry for the rant.
I just think that career is very important to me and my happiness and self value, so that's why I'm not sure what I would do if I got a job opportunity but it wouldn't fit the future plans I had with my partner. I don't think I would enjoy my life too much if I had a partner I loved very much but didn't work with what I wanted... 

It's nice to hear that you have found someone you love that much, and work so well with!
17
Posts: 8503
Date: 23-11-2020 21:41
Private
World famous



Evey wrote:
devilcake wrote:
Saintal wrote:
devilcake wrote:
i mean i don't value a job or career that high but i also don't think love is my like highest highest priority ? it all depends on what u compare it too.
Very interesting!! Is there something you prioritise higher than career and love? 
Comfort, mainly, like for example i wouldn't move anywhere for someone i loved i don't think, it'd have to be somewhere i would be comfortable being.

also assuming we're talking about romantic love, i think i'd put platonic love higher, like i wouldn't date anyone if it messed with the friends and family i care about, or like if they'd want me to get rid of my cat....... like i don't care how hard i've fallen for someone id never give up my kitty... things like that.
I think I sort of prioritise platonic friendships above romantic ones (or atleast I did), because they are more dependable? 
17
Posts: 8503
Date: 23-11-2020 21:45
Private
World famous



Versailles wrote:
Saintal wrote:
MossPiglet wrote:
Saintal wrote:
Hmm

I am with a great guy that I love very much and have never been this in love with someone, or the idea of love, ever. At the same time, I have a great strive to become the best version of myself and to always be ready to live on my own, by myself, if the relationship goes to shit/he dies or whatever. I think about this scenario a lot, like with most things. I see the worst scenario and don't wanna jump into things where I couldn't take that worst.

..So I am amazed that a lot of you seems to know exactly how you would prioritise in these situations. I guess I am happy for you all, that you see things so clearly! 

If you get good job opportunity and question the relatonship, it's very much sign it's more appealing and important for you. I think if the person is really you want to dedicate a future with one it wouldn't be a question.
Follow what you feel like is the best for you. 
Do you guys live together? would it be possible for them to move with you near the job?
I'm not in this situation, just to point it out. With the opportunity I mean. I'm just thinking about... values in general. Priorities. 

Oh I see! I just don't like the idea to work for someone to get rich on my work in general. I've had bad experience in job field where I and others been taken advantage of. It's something I do for having an income to live in this society. My dreams are more of traveling with people i love, and experience fun things
20
Posts: 6859
Date: 23-11-2020 21:45
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