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thoughts on 'older' parents
Private
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devilcake wrote:
Rowan wrote:
devilcake wrote:
Rowan wrote:
basically 1 foot in the grave actually
nah man i dont think so

idk do you also think you shouldn't have children then of you have health conditions that appear at a younger age in your family?
i feel like if someone deals w a condition they cn sorta decide that for themselves? like if it makes their life worse or if they don't feel that way 
wouldn't it be the same if ur 35 plus then?
19
Posts: 186807
Date: 03-12-2020 15:19
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ouch wrote:
ouch wrote:
ouch wrote:
Bat to get kids over 35-40, esp 40, risk of disease more n also u die soon
My parents were 19 n 21 I think ajaja perfect breeding time
Also having younger parents make me happy cus they r much more accepting now at 37 n 40 than they would b if they were like,,, 60 (ouff). N they have fun interests n not old ppl interests so I can actually talk tothem 
16
Posts: 95491
Date: 03-12-2020 15:22
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devilcake wrote:
like idk my mum had me at 30 and my brother at 32 which isn't quite 35, and imo a pretty reasonable age to have a kid at, and she's in very good health currently, so i think it's all pretty individual when it comes to how ur health looks later in life

and having children when you're older comes with a lot of other benefits like most likely you'll have a more stable income and less stress and more life experience that can make you a better parent overall so i feel like it kind of evens out.
19
Posts: 186807
Date: 03-12-2020 15:22
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Versailles wrote:
Have you talked with someone about it, it sounds a lot like death anxiety and some issues in fam which isn't resolved or talked enough.
The fact your dad guilt trips and saying he don't have much time is very manipulative and hurtful thing to do.
I get it with health issues, but my sis who's 32 and expecting  - she took a NIPT test which checks early on if the fetus is healthy or not. Most older parents get the opportunity to do so. 
My mothers first born child aka my sis (she was 18 when she gave birth) have so many health issues. But we can't control everything in life and just go with the flow. 
20
Posts: 6859
Date: 03-12-2020 15:23
ThomaStanaccount
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ThomaStanaccount wrote:
most people i know have old parents. my parents were 21 and 26 and idk didn't really like having a young mum and growing up broke.
21
Posts: 5827
Date: 03-12-2020 15:23
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commander2 wrote:
giggling i triggered sth oh nooo pls i dont want my mom 2 die i dont wanna b alone VDFBVHJDFBHJ
17
Posts: 30167
Date: 03-12-2020 15:23
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Rotte wrote:
I personally wouldn't get a kid when im over 35 either. 
Knowing that the chance of health issues is getting bigger and bigger the older i get i think it's the responsible thing to do. I don't wanna be 50 and no be able to fully run around with my kids and all, i would love to be there for as long as i can.
21
Posts: 70325
Date: 03-12-2020 15:23
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emogirrrl123 wrote:
35 isn't even bad. but my ex friend's dad was like in his late 50s when he became a father and passed away while she was in gymnasium.. that's way too old.
18
Posts: 13218
Date: 03-12-2020 15:26
Reaper
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Reaper wrote:
i agree with you, better have kids before 30 since your body be growing older and pregnancies at an older age can be hard and even dangerous.

my parents were 26 and 24 when they had me
19
Posts: 33160
Date: 03-12-2020 15:27
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emogirrrl123 wrote:
my mom was 23 when she had me and she was definitely not ready for it. not sure if she would ever really be ready to be a proper mom though.
18
Posts: 13218
Date: 03-12-2020 15:28
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commander2 wrote:
Versailles wrote:
Have you talked with someone about it, it sounds a lot like death anxiety and some issues in fam which isn't resolved or talked enough.
The fact your dad guilt trips and saying he don't have much time is very manipulative and hurtful thing to do.
I get it with health issues, but my sis who's 32 and expecting  - she took a NIPT test which checks early on if the fetus is healthy or not. Most older parents get the opportunity to do so. 
My mothers first born child aka my sis (she was 18 when she gave birth) have so many health issues. But we can't control everything in life and just go with the flow. 
i feel like i shud bring it up to my psychologist esp bc its been a thing thats gotten worse   during the pandemic   for some reason?   maybe also bc ive gotten closer w my parents    bbut just a thing tht pops up in my head n ill start sweating like crazy 
bc i generally am rlly apathetic about death, dont really mourn nd stuff bbut w my parents its scary bc it actually affects me a lot more
17
Posts: 30167
Date: 03-12-2020 15:29
Private
World famous



Versailles wrote:
Rowan wrote:
Versailles wrote:
Have you talked with someone about it, it sounds a lot like death anxiety and some issues in fam which isn't resolved or talked enough.
The fact your dad guilt trips and saying he don't have much time is very manipulative and hurtful thing to do.
I get it with health issues, but my sis who's 32 and expecting  - she took a NIPT test which checks early on if the fetus is healthy or not. Most older parents get the opportunity to do so. 
My mothers first born child aka my sis (she was 18 when she gave birth) have so many health issues. But we can't control everything in life and just go with the flow. 
i feel like i shud bring it up to my psychologist esp bc its been a thing thats gotten worse   during the pandemic   for some reason?   maybe also bc ive gotten closer w my parents    bbut just a thing tht pops up in my head n ill start sweating like crazy 
bc i generally am rlly apathetic about death, dont really mourn nd stuff bbut w my parents its scary bc it actually affects me a lot more
Yeah I think so too. Seems like you haven't talked much about it or got it out. Pandemic rlly put our mental health on a test and lots of stress. I do occasionally think about that my dad is old and it's weird when he's gone. Good thing you let it out here, it takes trust to open up. I hope you can talk with trusted ones and if you are in good relationship with parents and can be open, talk to them too
20
Posts: 6859
Date: 03-12-2020 15:39
Private
Streetmusician



commander2 wrote:
Versailles wrote:
Rowan wrote:
Versailles wrote:
Have you talked with someone about it, it sounds a lot like death anxiety and some issues in fam which isn't resolved or talked enough.
The fact your dad guilt trips and saying he don't have much time is very manipulative and hurtful thing to do.
I get it with health issues, but my sis who's 32 and expecting  - she took a NIPT test which checks early on if the fetus is healthy or not. Most older parents get the opportunity to do so. 
My mothers first born child aka my sis (she was 18 when she gave birth) have so many health issues. But we can't control everything in life and just go with the flow. 
i feel like i shud bring it up to my psychologist esp bc its been a thing thats gotten worse   during the pandemic   for some reason?   maybe also bc ive gotten closer w my parents    bbut just a thing tht pops up in my head n ill start sweating like crazy 
bc i generally am rlly apathetic about death, dont really mourn nd stuff bbut w my parents its scary bc it actually affects me a lot more
Yeah I think so too. Seems like you haven't talked much about it or got it out. Pandemic rlly put our mental health on a test and lots of stress. I do occasionally think about that my dad is old and it's weird when he's gone. Good thing you let it out here, it takes trust to open up. I hope you can talk with trusted ones and if you are in good relationship with parents and can be open, talk to them too
I don't enjoy talking about it with them (or honestly people in general) bc they always sorta make it sound like I don't appreciate them or I sorta 'blame' them even tho I'm also aware that due to their age they're financially more stable and stuff and I'm def like   privileged compared to people my age who didn't have that

It also def makes me sad because when I was little my grandparents looked after me a lot n im p sure if im lucky enough to ever have children, that my parents prob won't be around anymore? because I know my mom would be there for us but yeah.. 
17
Posts: 30167
Date: 03-12-2020 15:45
Private
World famous



Yugen wrote:
literally nothing selfish abt that 
23
Posts: 3839
Date: 03-12-2020 15:50
Warrior
World famous



Warrior wrote:
I think 60+ is probably too old to have kids, but if you have kids when you're 35 you'll be 55 when the kid is 20. So I don't see a problem there. 30-40 isn't old
16
Posts: 2469
Date: 03-12-2020 15:56
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