everything is falling apart and i'm miserable - Forum

Private
World famous

Barbarella wrote:

Six wrote:
YUP cece
all men want is a nurse or a purse!

boyfriends, roommates, brothers, dads
the lot of 'em
if you're their maid, they'll fuckin take it and they never stop taking

Six
Karaoke star

Six wrote:
except for my dad he's the best (sorry to all you other dads)

Hutsu
National star

hutsu wrote:

BrainFilth wrote:

hutsu wrote:

Six wrote:
gonna be honest it's good u guys broke up
but also if you're not in a relationship anymore you guys dont have to cook together, don't have to clean anything together, etc.
like there should be house rules but the dynamic between roommates is completely different than the dynamic between spouses living together

i get that he doesn't have to do anything with me, but the thing is he's pretty much incapable of navigating basic chores alone atm and i've tried to get him to do things with me because that's the only chance i have to get him to actually do something.........

and yes we're moving apart, we cancelled our lease yesterday and we still have the flat for a month. i'd like to be able to actually like here for the time that i pay rent for but idk man it's difficult living with someone who's blaming everything on me

Duuuude this all sounds so familiar.
Thing is once he doesn't have a little housemaid, suddenly he'll know how to cook and clean and take care of himself.

to be fair he's been my housemaid too
idk maybe next time it'll take me less time to realise that if i start showing a lot more severe symptoms around a person i'm in relationship with than while being alone i maybe shouldn't be with that person. these are things that seem obvious once you open your eyes to them but it takes a lot of guts to dare to start looking around

Six
Karaoke star

Six wrote:
hutsu im rlly proud of you for taking charge of ur mental health and getting out of a situation that was bad for u
just hold on a little longer, u got this!!!

Private
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Barbarella wrote:

Six wrote:
hutsu im rlly proud of you for taking charge of ur mental health and getting out of a situation that was bad for u
just hold on a little longer, u got this!!!

RIGHT!?
this is a HUGE deal
I stayed with someone who treated me HORRIBLE for 3 years living together
he had a whole other relationship in secret and when I found out I humiliatingly begged him to stay
I let this asshole talk me into going on antidepressants I didn't need that almost killed me

you saw the red flag, took it, and fuckin ran and thats huge and amazing and grown up and yes
proud of you.

Anachronism
National star

Anachronism wrote:

BrainFilth wrote:

Six wrote:
u guys need to stop living together it sounds like. also i hate being the one saying he's right about not being in a relationship so he doesnt have to do the same things (because he's acting like an asshole it sounds like) ... so maybe stop giving him ur medication, just treat him like a roommate and just don't be in each other's hair. clean ur dishes, separate cleanign responsibilities, etc. and if he doesn't wanna watch anything anymore with u because ur yellin at him or nagging at him, he aint ur bf anymore, he's just ur roomie.

Its a really hard transition, having to live with someone after a breakup
its hard to re adjust your mind and boundaries and it takes kindness and patience, something he clearly doesn't have.

best to get out and make a clean break of it if you can

Yeah its very hard to leave if you're financially dependent on each other

So I was like 22 or 23, I dated a very shady dude, was 100% straight edge but lied constantly, brought the girl he was cheating on me with home

I said hey were are done but I cannot leave, I have no money and cannot live w/ my toxic family, so they both agreed to let me stay until I could save money

Well I tried to set some boundaries and we will just keep it short and say they were broken, within a month he went to washington with his girl, leaving me with nothing but $350

It was a rough time. I'm glad hes getting out of there in month op, he sounds abusive and I'm sorry but tweakers (I'm assuming you take amphetamines) arent reliable ppl lol, not saying u use it to tweak but I can tell he does

Hutsu
National star

hutsu wrote:

Six wrote:
i bet it's difficult, this is a situation i have never been put in. i'm really glad you were able to cancel the lease. i'd say to maybe start moving your stuff to whatever new place you are going ... be it your moms or a friends .. and maybe just start spending nights elsewhere, etc.

at least it's just a month longer and not a few.
so for now i'd just say talk to him while you're calm and divide up the chores for the month
and don't even bother with him for meal prep or food ... just cook for yourself, clean up after yourself

and most of all dont give him any medication

guys will break up with ya and then they'll still want you to treat them JUST like you did when you were dating

thanks for the support, i appreciate it. i'm planning on starting to pack things up pretty soon but it'll be about 3 weeks before i can move my things at the earliest so it's a bit too early to start now (and i just got back home from the hospital yesterday so i need a couple days to recover at least).

i know dividing the work with him would be as productive as telling a rock it needs to take the trash so i'll skip that part. i counted 17+ empty beer and energy drink cans on the sofa table today that have been sitting there for at least 3 days. he puts dirty dishes on the living room floor etc, i'm just trying to cope until i get rid of him and then i swear i'll never let anyone treat my home as badly as he does. at this point i can't really do anything to stop him (but pack up all of my dishes which i can't wait to do).

Anachronism
National star

Anachronism wrote:

BrainFilth wrote:

Anachronism wrote:
How much did he take lol

Sounds like erratic tweaker shit, stop giving him your meds

I love that we can always count on you to call out some tweaker shit lol
we all need it from time to time

I was raised by a junkie. Opiates and alcohol were her DOC but she was def into stimulants as well. I've seen plenty of ppl (including my mom) in stimulant psychosis or just plain twacked

Also not proud of it but I dated a meth head for almost a year, and of course we used together, also have fooled around w/ amphetamines (adderall and vyvanse) for recreational/study purposes

It takes one to know one. Seriously taking an amphetamine under the guise of doing productive things and then getting locked into video games or porn for hours is tweaker shit, should know I've done it

Hutsu
National star

hutsu wrote:

BrainFilth wrote:

Six wrote:
hutsu im rlly proud of you for taking charge of ur mental health and getting out of a situation that was bad for u
just hold on a little longer, u got this!!!

RIGHT!?
this is a HUGE deal
I stayed with someone who treated me HORRIBLE for 3 years living together
he had a whole other relationship in secret and when I found out I humiliatingly begged him to stay
I let this asshole talk me into going on antidepressants I didn't need that almost killed me

you saw the red flag, took it, and fuckin ran and thats huge and amazing and grown up and yes
proud of you.

thank you 😭❤️
it took me over a year to admit that this relationship isn't working out for either of us, the first 6 months were the best time i've had with anyone tbh. i hope he gets his shit together too but i'm not going to be around trying to get him to care enough to seek help etc. also i'm sorry you had to go through all that, i really wish you're around better people now!

Private
World famous

Barbarella wrote:

Anachronism wrote:

BrainFilth wrote:

Anachronism wrote:
How much did he take lol

Sounds like erratic tweaker shit, stop giving him your meds

I love that we can always count on you to call out some tweaker shit lol
we all need it from time to time

I was raised by a junkie. Opiates and alcohol were her DOC but she was def into stimulants as well. I've seen plenty of ppl (including my mom) in stimulant psychosis or just plain twacked

Also not proud of it but I dated a meth head for almost a year, and of course we used together, also have fooled around w/ amphetamines (adderall and vyvanse) for recreational/study purposes

It takes one to know one. Seriously taking an amphetamine under the guise of doing productive things and then getting locked into video games or porn for hours is tweaker shit, should know I've done it

fucking
loved
vyvanse
addies fucked up my kidneys

I'm so lucky I don't have whatever fucking gene causes you to get sucked into addiction bc I did some DUMB FUCKIN SHIT

Anachronism
National star

Anachronism wrote:

hutsu wrote:

Six wrote:
i bet it's difficult, this is a situation i have never been put in. i'm really glad you were able to cancel the lease. i'd say to maybe start moving your stuff to whatever new place you are going ... be it your moms or a friends .. and maybe just start spending nights elsewhere, etc.

at least it's just a month longer and not a few.
so for now i'd just say talk to him while you're calm and divide up the chores for the month
and don't even bother with him for meal prep or food ... just cook for yourself, clean up after yourself

and most of all dont give him any medication

guys will break up with ya and then they'll still want you to treat them JUST like you did when you were dating

thanks for the support, i appreciate it. i'm planning on starting to pack things up pretty soon but it'll be about 3 weeks before i can move my things at the earliest so it's a bit too early to start now (and i just got back home from the hospital yesterday so i need a couple days to recover at least).

i know dividing the work with him would be as productive as telling a rock it needs to take the trash so i'll skip that part. i counted 17+ empty beer and energy drink cans on the sofa table today that have been sitting there for at least 3 days. he puts dirty dishes on the living room floor etc, i'm just trying to cope until i get rid of him and then i swear i'll never let anyone treat my home as badly as he does. at this point i can't really do anything to stop him (but pack up all of my dishes which i can't wait to do).

I'm glad you're hanging in there. Stop letting him use your meds, lock them up cuz I dont put him stealing them past him, and let him do his thing til he leaves, definitely stay w/ ur mom for a few days if u need a break to rest

Six
Karaoke star

Six wrote:
maybe any dishes that are urs just move into ur room? i know someone who did that and they kept all their own silverware/dishes to themselves and when they'd wash them theyd just put them back in ur room

but my number 1 thing is stop letting him use ur meds, thos eare urs. u shouldn't share meds with anyone anyway, but especially ur ex bf.

Private
World famous

Barbarella wrote:

Six wrote:
maybe any dishes that are urs just move into ur room? i know someone who did that and they kept all their own silverware/dishes to themselves and when they'd wash them theyd just put them back in ur room

but my number 1 thing is stop letting him use ur meds, thos eare urs. u shouldn't share meds with anyone anyway, but especially ur ex bf.

for real
I bet he wouldn't do the same for you if you were out of meds

Hutsu
National star

hutsu wrote:

Anachronism wrote:

hutsu wrote:

Six wrote:
i bet it's difficult, this is a situation i have never been put in. i'm really glad you were able to cancel the lease. i'd say to maybe start moving your stuff to whatever new place you are going ... be it your moms or a friends .. and maybe just start spending nights elsewhere, etc.

at least it's just a month longer and not a few.
so for now i'd just say talk to him while you're calm and divide up the chores for the month
and don't even bother with him for meal prep or food ... just cook for yourself, clean up after yourself

and most of all dont give him any medication

guys will break up with ya and then they'll still want you to treat them JUST like you did when you were dating

thanks for the support, i appreciate it. i'm planning on starting to pack things up pretty soon but it'll be about 3 weeks before i can move my things at the earliest so it's a bit too early to start now (and i just got back home from the hospital yesterday so i need a couple days to recover at least).

i know dividing the work with him would be as productive as telling a rock it needs to take the trash so i'll skip that part. i counted 17+ empty beer and energy drink cans on the sofa table today that have been sitting there for at least 3 days. he puts dirty dishes on the living room floor etc, i'm just trying to cope until i get rid of him and then i swear i'll never let anyone treat my home as badly as he does. at this point i can't really do anything to stop him (but pack up all of my dishes which i can't wait to do).

I'm glad you're hanging in there. Stop letting him use your meds, lock them up cuz I dont put him stealing them past him, and let him do his thing til he leaves, definitely stay w/ ur mom for a few days if u need a break to rest

i'm gonna empty my lockable sideboard from any of his things and start keeping my meds locked in there because he has stolen them before so

thanks for saying this, i'm still apparently giving him a lot more chances to walk over me than i thought i did. i'm really thankful for you guys talking to me and sharing your stories, it means a lot

Anachronism
National star

Anachronism wrote:

BrainFilth wrote:

Anachronism wrote:

BrainFilth wrote:
I love that we can always count on you to call out some tweaker shit lol
we all need it from time to time

I was raised by a junkie. Opiates and alcohol were her DOC but she was def into stimulants as well. I've seen plenty of ppl (including my mom) in stimulant psychosis or just plain twacked

Also not proud of it but I dated a meth head for almost a year, and of course we used together, also have fooled around w/ amphetamines (adderall and vyvanse) for recreational/study purposes

It takes one to know one. Seriously taking an amphetamine under the guise of doing productive things and then getting locked into video games or porn for hours is tweaker shit, should know I've done it

fucking
loved
vyvanse
addies fucked up my kidneys

I'm so lucky I don't have whatever fucking gene causes you to get sucked into addiction bc I did some DUMB FUCKIN SHIT

I preferred addies they were more of a dirty buzzy high, vyvanse was more smooth, but you know if my sister gave me one oh yeah I'd take it

I like stims a lil too much had to give them a rest, hear u on doing stupid shit, lmfao, have to steer clear of stim lovers cuz I just have trouble saying no