how to date and scars (possible tw) - Forum

Private
Popstar

ouch wrote:

Claire wrote:

ouch wrote:
Ig u won't know how he would react before meeting him, I never rlly think abt ppl having scars or not, and nobody has been weird or commented abt mine except one of my teachers (lol), but I mean he might react shockingly liek claire here or he might not react at all, I would guess not at all from just personal experiences

like the person and also the extent of the scarring. i'd had friends before this whose scars didnt shock me like that. this particular person had the most severe scarring i had ever seen and i was quite young at the time (like your age now).

Yes I have seen those ppl, n myself too have gotten a lot more just ppl commenting on the severity of it I guess compared to friends, buts till I think nobody has been directly shocked, except for mby some family members

Private
National star

kagura wrote:

ouch wrote:

kagura wrote:

ouch wrote:
Ig u won't know how he would react before meeting him, I never rlly think abt ppl having scars or not, and nobody has been weird or commented abt mine except one of my teachers (lol), but I mean he might react shockingly liek claire here or he might not react at all, I would guess not at all from just personal experiences

yeah the weirdest reaction i have got is "are those real or just make up" by some random dude in my friend's birthday party
otherwise nothing really

Yeah n I mean, its ok if he comments on them no?? As long as he doesn't say smth bad or keep pushing u if u don't wanna talk abt it. Just more like "oh u have scars" whatever bla bla bla

yeah i don't mind if he says something neutral like that, just letting me know he noticed
its fine for me

Harrystyls
Streetmusician

harrystyls wrote:
I’m always in a kind of similar situation (no self harm scars tho) and I like to tell people beforehand, I feel like it kinda takes away the pressure I put on myself and it helps the other person getting used to the thought of it
but I do think the choice here is completely yours and there’s no right or wrong way to go about it! you definitely don’t owe them an explanation and it’s also nothing to be ashamed of, if they won’t take you with your scars, they’re not the right person anyway

Private
National star

kagura wrote:
panic part two i remember i just bought this nice very thin blouse and i was gonna put it on
but?? it was in my backbag and it was wet and smells weird? nothing else there was wet and what the heck
idk what this smell is even, maybe some sort of chemical??
i was out on tuesday night but idk i didn't even use that shirt, it was just in my bag so i don't know what the hell

so no i don't even know what to wear, because i'm not comfortable in anything but my harem pants but my sister lend them and ehh

Private
National star

kagura wrote:
i have another thin blouse but it the colour of it doesn't fit anything i own
expect like one trousers but they are way too hot to wear

yeah big problem my clothes are brown/green colour and they never match together

Private
National star

kagura wrote:
can i got with harem pants that have big hole in butt

Private
World famous

Ground wrote:
from personal experience i rather tell people abt it myself before they even ask abt it
it's sort of a thing where i feel that i wanna be in control of my story and explain to them so i won't get the reactions like 'omG pls don't harm urself' or 'ur way 2 beautiful for that'
because those reactions are rather dumb and are kinda confirming as to why i even did it in the first place
i now always say 'i've suffered with mental health problems and i have self harm scars i case ur wondering why i have scars on my arms'
n more often than not people keep quiet and are rather glad that i'm free from it now
cause i don't want the surprised reaction like i mentioned above, since it's just so insensitive n just dumb

but then again ur not obligated to tell why or how
i think it's all abt what u urself feel comfortable with

Wuwu
Minister of Pop

wuwu wrote:
if i had "severe" scarring i would definitely tell people, people get shocked by that kind of stuff and their first thought wont necessarily be "this person must have struggled with self harm and done this to themselves so i better keep my mouth shut"

Private
National star

kagura wrote:

Nice wrote:
from personal experience i rather tell people abt it myself before they even ask abt it
it's sort of a thing where i feel that i wanna be in control of my story and explain to them so i won't get the reactions like 'omG pls don't harm urself' or 'ur way 2 beautiful for that'
because those reactions are rather dumb and are kinda confirming as to why i even did it in the first place
i now always say 'i've suffered with mental health problems and i have self harm scars i case ur wondering why i have scars on my arms'
n more often than not people keep quiet and are rather glad that i'm free from it now
cause i don't want the surprised reaction like i mentioned above, since it's just so insensitive n just dumb

but then again ur not obligated to tell why or how
i think it's all abt what u urself feel comfortable with

i'm usually okay to talk about my mental health. and these scars are past anyway, but sometimes i just worry that people doesn't realise that they are old and it's not something i do anymore
but most people do. it would totally different story if they were like really fresh, that's something i would wanna know about person as soon as possible. because for me it would tell that we are not in same place in life and so on (of course i can't judge and i don't, but it's just not good for me being around people who are self-destructive)

and just talking to people about mental health problems is always scary. like most people have had them, but still you never know what other person have experienced and so on
and your story might still be shock to them

Private
National star

kagura wrote:

wuwu wrote:
if i had "severe" scarring i would definitely tell people, people get shocked by that kind of stuff and their first thought wont necessarily be "this person must have struggled with self harm and done this to themselves so i better keep my mouth shut"

some years ago i met some guy from online and his reaction was
"i can tell your right handed because you have more scars in your left arm"

lmao i'll always remember that. like he didn't say anything bad, just made an observation

Private
Popstar

ouch wrote:

kagura wrote:

wuwu wrote:
if i had "severe" scarring i would definitely tell people, people get shocked by that kind of stuff and their first thought wont necessarily be "this person must have struggled with self harm and done this to themselves so i better keep my mouth shut"

some years ago i met some guy from online and his reaction was
"i can tell your right handed because you have more scars in your left arm"

lmao i'll always remember that. like he didn't say anything bad, just made an observation

The easiest way to tell ppls dominant hand lol

Private
World famous

Ground wrote:

kagura wrote:

Nice wrote:
from personal experience i rather tell people abt it myself before they even ask abt it
it's sort of a thing where i feel that i wanna be in control of my story and explain to them so i won't get the reactions like 'omG pls don't harm urself' or 'ur way 2 beautiful for that'
because those reactions are rather dumb and are kinda confirming as to why i even did it in the first place
i now always say 'i've suffered with mental health problems and i have self harm scars i case ur wondering why i have scars on my arms'
n more often than not people keep quiet and are rather glad that i'm free from it now
cause i don't want the surprised reaction like i mentioned above, since it's just so insensitive n just dumb

but then again ur not obligated to tell why or how
i think it's all abt what u urself feel comfortable with

i'm usually okay to talk about my mental health. and these scars are past anyway, but sometimes i just worry that people doesn't realise that they are old and it's not something i do anymore
but most people do. it would totally different story if they were like really fresh, that's something i would wanna know about person as soon as possible. because for me it would tell that we are not in same place in life and so on (of course i can't judge and i don't, but it's just not good for me being around people who are self-destructive)

and just talking to people about mental health problems is always scary. like most people have had them, but still you never know what other person have experienced and so on
and your story might still be shock to them

very understandable !
since they're old it's in the past,, but yea if people haven't rly seen any1 with sh-scars it's gonna be a shock regardless i'd imagine

yea
but idk, can only talk for myself rn but people don't rly get shocked when i first tell them as i'm very good at explaining things
and i'm good at calming people down if they are a bit unsettled abt it,, but yea most of the time they understand as soon as i explain my past problems n how it all came about
i kinda deescalate the shock / reaction by me myself not being bothered or fazed by my scars

Private
National star

kagura wrote:
also he straight up says in his tinder bio that he doesn't want anything from anyone and he just wanna play dnd and warhammer and what is self-esteem
he must depressed too

lmao he seems exacatly my ex OH MY

Private
National star

kagura wrote:
my type: just have long hair and play dnd and i'm all yours

Private
National star

kagura wrote:
ok i have to leave now. i'm gonna come back sometime and tell how it went