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breaking up
Private
World Famous



Versailles wrote:
Since he brought up topic abt future before... You can bring up about the future again and how you don't see yourself being with him in the long run. Explain why and what you've been thinking and that you want to put an end in the relationship.

From previous threads it seems like he's kinda insensitive & toxic and u shouldn't put up with that over and over again. It's unlikely he gonna change behaviour esp when he's pushing 40. 
20
Posts: 6859
Date: 05-09-2021 14:22
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
ok so didn't happen tonight
he sent me a text a few hours before i quit work and asked me if i wanted to come over tonight and if he needed to buy something for me bc he was going to the store. i answered him after i quit and said i wanted to be at home tonight. he said he had planned dinner and cuddles but it was dumb of him to assume that i was coming over, or smth. i feel so bad

i still haven't answered that omg. and he wrote to me again less than an hour ago telling me he has a shit ton of school this week so if i wanna come over some day that i should tell him early on. partly due to planning but also that he dislikes having to idk go around and wonder if i'm coming or not. and that he doesn't feel like being the one to ALWAYS have to ask if we're hanging out and that i should understand that it makes him feel sad. he asked what i'd feel if i was the only one who took the initiative and that i'd probably feel quite insecure in a lot of ways. he said it has nothing to do with needing alone time, just that it's about communication.
then he said he loves me and hopes i want to see him soon.

i don't know what to answer to it... i feel so dishonest and rude and my heart is breaking bc i feel so sorry for him
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 05-09-2021 22:52
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
i think ive figured out what to answer. can i end the text saying that i love him? because i do. but... i see how that will fuck with him if i break up shortly after this idk. but it also feels weird not writing it bc then he'll start to wonder, i guess?
hate this
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 05-09-2021 23:02
Nyctophiliac
Youtube Star



Nyctophiliac wrote:
good luck.
i hope whatever way you go about this makes you happy in the end <3
5
Posts: 2
Date: 05-09-2021 23:11
Account deleted




wrote:
This thread is making me think about my relationship now.
Date: 05-09-2021 23:12
Nyctophiliac
Youtube Star



Nyctophiliac wrote:
amakia wrote:
This thread is making me think about my relationship now.
same tbh
5
Posts: 2
Date: 05-09-2021 23:14
Account deleted




wrote:
Nyctophiliac wrote:
amakia wrote:
This thread is making me think about my relationship now.
same tbh
I mean Tbh My partner is too much like always expecting me to be there on time, Complains if I'm 10 mins late, Legit Picks my outfits like NO 
Date: 05-09-2021 23:16
Private
World Famous



Versailles wrote:
cobain wrote:
i think ive figured out what to answer. can i end the text saying that i love him? because i do. but... i see how that will fuck with him if i break up shortly after this idk. but it also feels weird not writing it bc then he'll start to wonder, i guess?
hate this
i wouldn't recommend you to say i love you because that will confuse him 
i'm sorry but u need to be a bit cold/neutral, because you're about to end the relationship and it's better not sending mixed signals
20
Posts: 6859
Date: 05-09-2021 23:32
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
Versailles wrote:
cobain wrote:
i think ive figured out what to answer. can i end the text saying that i love him? because i do. but... i see how that will fuck with him if i break up shortly after this idk. but it also feels weird not writing it bc then he'll start to wonder, i guess?
hate this
i wouldn't recommend you to say i love you because that will confuse him 
i'm sorry but u need to be a bit cold/neutral, because you're about to end the relationship and it's better not sending mixed signals
didnt say i love him bc yes, it doesnt feel right when im about to break up
he replied and was a bit mad tho......... i think. then an hour later he sent another text just saying good night again bc he was scared he sounded grumpy in the first text. an hour later he sent another text saying he couldnt sleep bc he was scared he expressed himself weirdly and if i misunderstood him
i feeeeel horribleeeeee ((((((((((( :
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 06-09-2021 09:16
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
"i understand you can't answer right away. why would i all of a sudden become such an idiot that demands you to do that? and your text, even if it was very nice, confirmed what i wrote. the point was that you never say you want to see me unless i ask first. not even now you said anything about wanting to see me or that you love me. i feel like a little bitch right now. i'm so confused by this. i don't know what to think about anything anymore. i probably sound very mad right now, i'm not. i'm just starting to become exhausted, very exhausted. whatever, i'm waking up at 5 tomorrow so i need to get some sleep. good night"

"i know i've already said good night, but it looked grumpy. good night and sleep tight sweetie. i love you and miss you a lot!"

"and now i can't sleep because i'm scared i expressed myself weirdly and that you might misunderstand what i wrote"

those are the texts he sent AND i still haven't answered them. because i don't know what to say. i really just DONT know. i feel bad by not like reciprocating his lovey dovey stuff, i dont want to because i dont wanna fuck with him like that. but i also dont want to say anything that makes him insecure or say that we need to talk etc because i dont want to worry him and upset him before!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you know?!?!?!? please im gonna puke
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 06-09-2021 10:43
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
should i just ask him if we can meet up later to talk about things?
it's gonna be SO obvious that i'm gonna break up with him. he will understand that when i tell him we're gonna talk and don't say anything lovey dovey or that i love him. i don't... want to do that. he's in school rn too and i don't want to ruin his day. realistically i don't want to break up this week at all bc he's got a loooot of shit to do in school and i don't wanna fuck it up for him. but wtf.... idk what to do
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 06-09-2021 10:55
Private
International Star



uhyre wrote:
cobain wrote:
should i just ask him if we can meet up later to talk about things?
it's gonna be SO obvious that i'm gonna break up with him. he will understand that when i tell him we're gonna talk and don't say anything lovey dovey or that i love him. i don't... want to do that. he's in school rn too and i don't want to ruin his day. realistically i don't want to break up this week at all bc he's got a loooot of shit to do in school and i don't wanna fuck it up for him. but wtf.... idk what to do

ur deinitely not doing urself any favours by putting it off and besides, if hes already noticed and feels some type of way about the responses (or lack thereof) hes getting thats still gonna keep bugging him and probably get worse the longer u hold off anyway?
17
Posts: 28887
Date: 06-09-2021 10:59
Private
World Famous



Versailles wrote:
cobain wrote:
should i just ask him if we can meet up later to talk about things?
it's gonna be SO obvious that i'm gonna break up with him. he will understand that when i tell him we're gonna talk and don't say anything lovey dovey or that i love him. i don't... want to do that. he's in school rn too and i don't want to ruin his day. realistically i don't want to break up this week at all bc he's got a loooot of shit to do in school and i don't wanna fuck it up for him. but wtf.... idk what to do
honestly yes, it's a bit of a heads up and it's better like this than him being blindsightet. 
Better early than later because he's gonna be upset and try find a day to meet or something abt the grocery etc.
20
Posts: 6859
Date: 06-09-2021 11:02
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
sorry for being so dumb about this lol ive never had this kind of breakup before
first time i broke up w someone was quite undramatic bc we stayed friends, things were weird n it was chaos for a while but it was still quite undramatic. second time i broke up w someone, if i can even call that a breakup bc we were never actually a couple, he was an idiot and we fought and i told him to go to hell and never spoke to him again

so im..... new at this tbh
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 06-09-2021 11:08
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
ok i just replied and said like "ok yeah, i think we need to talk irl later, wanna meet up for a while and talk?"
UHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHGHGH omg this sucks
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 06-09-2021 11:11
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