how do i become more assertive? - Forum

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misjel wrote:
I think that it would be great if you could find a group of people, perhaps a smaller group of people where you feel heard at first and kinda practice there, and then take it up gradually. Because I know sometimes you just forget what you wanna say once you get the word, my brain is a mess so yeah being in a smaller group might be more forgiving since you'd probably get more chances to chip in cx

I would say that I'm generally pretty talkative, but I don't rly like interrupting people but in a rly talkative group you might have to, to do it more smoothly you might wanna add in some filler words like start with a "hmm", "ooh" or "i thought of this" just a vocal cue that you wanna tune in and if that doesn't work i honestly just keep quiet.

Practice makes perfect, it probably wont go smooth but I believe u'll get there with enough practice mwa

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misjel wrote:
telling this half from experience and half pulling things out of my ass, i used to be incredibly shy but what can i say stuart typed me as ESTP so I am an extrovert

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misjel wrote:

BloomCissi wrote:

Misjel wrote:

Nuola wrote:
i adore this dynamic you two have

We're homies

ex friendlisters but still homies

unless ouch says otherwise

"ex friendlisters"

Couldn't find a better way to describe it

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Nuola wrote:

Misjel wrote:
I think that it would be great if you could find a group of people, perhaps a smaller group of people where you feel heard at first and kinda practice there, and then take it up gradually. Because I know sometimes you just forget what you wanna say once you get the word, my brain is a mess so yeah being in a smaller group might be more forgiving since you'd probably get more chances to chip in cx

I would say that I'm generally pretty talkative, but I don't rly like interrupting people but in a rly talkative group you might have to, to do it more smoothly you might wanna add in some filler words like start with a "hmm", "ooh" or "i thought of this" just a vocal cue that you wanna tune in and if that doesn't work i honestly just keep quiet.

Practice makes perfect, it probably wont go smooth but I believe u'll get there with enough practice mwa

thanks for taking the time to respond, those are some really great ideas. it's definitely been a really lousy time for meeting new people with the world opening and closing every other week. but i think i'm slowly starting to find ways to do so. though i think a st. patty's day party i've been invited to will scare me back into my corner, so i'll find a way to start smaller than that

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sapovnela wrote:
honestly i've just accepted that this is how i work and i'm not gonna fight for words because if people are interested in what i have to say, they won't try to overtalk me. just trying to find the right group of people, but i guess if you want to overcome that, it is indeed the best to start with smaller groups that you are comfortable with. or like get to know each person individually because if you are comfortable with more people from a group, it is easier to know what to talk about and join in the conversation with them

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misjel wrote:

Nuola wrote:

Misjel wrote:
I think that it would be great if you could find a group of people, perhaps a smaller group of people where you feel heard at first and kinda practice there, and then take it up gradually. Because I know sometimes you just forget what you wanna say once you get the word, my brain is a mess so yeah being in a smaller group might be more forgiving since you'd probably get more chances to chip in cx

I would say that I'm generally pretty talkative, but I don't rly like interrupting people but in a rly talkative group you might have to, to do it more smoothly you might wanna add in some filler words like start with a "hmm", "ooh" or "i thought of this" just a vocal cue that you wanna tune in and if that doesn't work i honestly just keep quiet.

Practice makes perfect, it probably wont go smooth but I believe u'll get there with enough practice mwa

thanks for taking the time to respond, those are some really great ideas. it's definitely been a really lousy time for meeting new people with the world opening and closing every other week. but i think i'm slowly starting to find ways to do so. though i think a st. patty's day party i've been invited to will scare me back into my corner, so i'll find a way to start smaller than that

I agreeee, haven't rly met any new people over this period except virtual popstarians. If you go to school perhaps some school clubs could be worth checking out? Anyway I'll be rooting for you!!