i need to get out of my head - Forum

Private
Princess of Pop

Arthema wrote:

bee wrote:

Abby wrote:

bee wrote:
im the saddest person to live going through her ig and seeing so many pics of them together and i wish it was me
doesnt help she looks a lot like me too lol
just prettier

it doesn't matter the looks, I'm also sure it's your insecurity talking, but it's fine, it takes time to fully realize our values and beauty.
It is not pathetic, and you're not dumb, you're just human, with a storm of emotion,
I know how nerve-wracking at times remembering this can be, but you'll recover and one day you'll move on, but at some point, you have to actively start doing stuff and taking steps toward ending it.

if you really believe he's happier with her maybe it's for the better, you deserve just that, a person who'll truly make you happy, and that is most likely not him.

the process is long but you've got to take the steps after so many years, even baby steps, that was my mistake and why I had to deal with that situation for 7 years until I actively started doing stuff for myself, and eventually, it worked, and while yes, at times I still miss him, it's as the good friend he used to be, and it's alright, as it doesn't cloud my head anymore.

You will get over him, and find someone more worthy of you.

It sounds like you guys are still in contact? maybe it'll be better to take a step back for a while? you need not only to take him out of your head but also life, at least for a while
as much as I'm the type of person that believes exes CAN be civil later on or people with unresolved past crushes, or ya know, if you had somewhat of a past?
but both sides need to heal, and if he's in your life right now, and in your head and heart, you really should step back, take some time off, not look at his social media even though it is SOOO tempting, you deserve this peace of mind and you're not helping yourself by having him around like this

thank you this feels like a big warm hug of advice i really needed right now
deep down i know i shouldnt be talking to him like i am, cus even tough i try to deny it, feelings are still involved from my side. and the feeling sucks. but at the same time im incredibly lonely and struggling to meet new people, but hes always been there and its comfortable and im really in a need of something that feels like a friend. honestly i wish i could just throw these feelings in the trash and be actual friends with him. i think we would be good platonically. idk

sending hugs from afar <3
the first step is knowing, from here on, you'll need to slowly take some distance, it'll be really hard, but eventually, it'll be worth it and you'll be able to slowly heal
you might be good as friends, but not now
and not if he's crossing lines.

I know the feeling of meeting new people, but well you have to start somewhere, work, university, classes, gym, workshops, idk... anything that exposes you to people and new experiences, it's hard, SO hard at times, but it's a must.

I believe in you, you can do it <3

Private
World famous

bee wrote:

Abby wrote:

bee wrote:

Dreamstone wrote:
Girl looks don't matter and if he has a gf and is happy with her than.....you have to get over him and do they look happy in the pictures? and happy irl? if they do you have to get over him and find someone else ik it can be hard but still 4 years?

i dont think... he is happier with her. maybe he is. they look happy and intimate in the pics. but since were still in contact sometimes we will talk about it. the first two years it was all good and lovely and i didnt mind cus i was in a relationship too back then. but at some point he started talking about breaking up with her but he was unsure. i told him to not stay in a relationship longer that supposed to if it didnt feel right, something i would have told anyone. it gave me hope for a while but they never did break up. sometimes he would tell me about how mad she always was and tell me im so much more positive. one time i randomly walked past them on the street and later when we talked about it i told him i thought his gf was really pretty. he responded with disagreeing and saying she wasnt pretty right there, just mad. at that point i think he also started flirting with me a bit. i would send random selfies on snap, just as streak so like it wasnt just to him, and he would compliment me, telling me i was pretty every time. i began sending more selfies just to get these compliments. sometimes we would talk about the good old times (when we were a thing, not together together, but we were something... for eight months)always him initiating the topic. one time we met on a night out and it was the first time seeing each other in maybe four years. i remember the night as almost magical. i made a thread about it i will swe if i can find it. i think what he was doing was like... testing the waters, seeing how it was being single. but he was also playing with my heart and messing with my mind. all this was last year, its not like this anymore, we just text casually now once in while. nowadays when i ask how its going between them (not like i do that all the time but he sometimes asks me about my love life too so its not like im weird) he says theres the usual ups and downs but its alright. i feel like thats not what youre supposed to answer when people ask about your relationship. so i dont know if im supposed to be happy for them

I had the EXACT situation and my ex-best friend did it to keep me by his side,
He does something he should not be doing, good relationship or not,
but after reading this, happy or not,
it seems to me like you MIGHT be the backup option if shit hits the fan, or was at least?

this was my situation, and holy shit man it was BAD
SO bad.

you should REALLY distance yourself if you want to be honest with him before you do, but you don't owe him any explanation,
but in a way I really get you... most be the person that you felt truly comfortable with him,
in my case I was down SO bad because my ex-best friend was THE only person that understood meand we had this weird emotional and spiritual connection and it was SO hard letting go but it was neccesery .

so eventually I cut him off after HIS gf demanded he cut me off
so yeah
ever since then he messaged me once in a while and it's.. yeah I brush him off

im so sorry you went through that, i cant imagine the strength it must have taken to finally cut him off. but good for you really

i think my situation is a bit milder, like we're not that close. sometimes i dont even know why i still feel like this towards him. when rereading that long thing i just wrote before, i think he just sounds like a shit person. i wouldnt wanna be with someone like that who goes behind his gf back like he has.

i think maybe theres a deeper issue to me having all these feeling still, but i wont go into that, but like it might not even be because of him personally if that makes sense

Private
Princess of Pop

Arthema wrote:

Dreamstone wrote:

Abby wrote:

bee wrote:
i dont think... he is happier with her. maybe he is. they look happy and intimate in the pics. but since were still in contact sometimes we will talk about it. the first two years it was all good and lovely and i didnt mind cus i was in a relationship too back then. but at some point he started talking about breaking up with her but he was unsure. i told him to not stay in a relationship longer that supposed to if it didnt feel right, something i would have told anyone. it gave me hope for a while but they never did break up. sometimes he would tell me about how mad she always was and tell me im so much more positive. one time i randomly walked past them on the street and later when we talked about it i told him i thought his gf was really pretty. he responded with disagreeing and saying she wasnt pretty right there, just mad. at that point i think he also started flirting with me a bit. i would send random selfies on snap, just as streak so like it wasnt just to him, and he would compliment me, telling me i was pretty every time. i began sending more selfies just to get these compliments. sometimes we would talk about the good old times (when we were a thing, not together together, but we were something... for eight months)always him initiating the topic. one time we met on a night out and it was the first time seeing each other in maybe four years. i remember the night as almost magical. i made a thread about it i will swe if i can find it. i think what he was doing was like... testing the waters, seeing how it was being single. but he was also playing with my heart and messing with my mind. all this was last year, its not like this anymore, we just text casually now once in while. nowadays when i ask how its going between them (not like i do that all the time but he sometimes asks me about my love life too so its not like im weird) he says theres the usual ups and downs but its alright. i feel like thats not what youre supposed to answer when people ask about your relationship. so i dont know if im supposed to be happy for them

I had the EXACT situation and my ex-best friend did it to keep me by his side,
He does something he should not be doing, good relationship or not,
but after reading this, happy or not,
it seems to me like you MIGHT be the backup option if shit hits the fan, or was at least?

this was my situation, and holy shit man it was BAD
SO bad.

you should REALLY distance yourself if you want to be honest with him before you do, but you don't owe him any explanation,
but in a way I really get you... most be the person that you felt truly comfortable with him,
in my case I was down SO bad because my ex-best friend was THE only person that understood meand we had this weird emotional and spiritual connection and it was SO hard letting go but it was neccesery .

so eventually I cut him off after HIS gf demanded he cut me off
so yeah
ever since then he messaged me once in a while and it's.. yeah I brush him off

Yeah you should distance yourself and abby did you like the boy? or he liked you? if you did than that gf is controlling ngl and it must suck cutting off someone that understood you

OH me and him were together for a year, we loved eachother
and that love kept on like.. going on? for years? from both sides, but when I took a break from my ex, he JUMPED in and tried getting back together, but was secretive about it , like SO much trying to keep us a secret and well
I discovered he actually had a girl
that girl he claimed it was not serious with her, the one that he told me and our other friend that she was just something he's not sure about and will break it off...
and yeah
it went so badly

Private
World famous

bee wrote:
i think im should go to sleep now. but thank you both for all the kind words and advice <3

Dreamstone
National star

Dreamstone wrote:

bee wrote:

Abby wrote:

bee wrote:
i dont think... he is happier with her. maybe he is. they look happy and intimate in the pics. but since were still in contact sometimes we will talk about it. the first two years it was all good and lovely and i didnt mind cus i was in a relationship too back then. but at some point he started talking about breaking up with her but he was unsure. i told him to not stay in a relationship longer that supposed to if it didnt feel right, something i would have told anyone. it gave me hope for a while but they never did break up. sometimes he would tell me about how mad she always was and tell me im so much more positive. one time i randomly walked past them on the street and later when we talked about it i told him i thought his gf was really pretty. he responded with disagreeing and saying she wasnt pretty right there, just mad. at that point i think he also started flirting with me a bit. i would send random selfies on snap, just as streak so like it wasnt just to him, and he would compliment me, telling me i was pretty every time. i began sending more selfies just to get these compliments. sometimes we would talk about the good old times (when we were a thing, not together together, but we were something... for eight months)always him initiating the topic. one time we met on a night out and it was the first time seeing each other in maybe four years. i remember the night as almost magical. i made a thread about it i will swe if i can find it. i think what he was doing was like... testing the waters, seeing how it was being single. but he was also playing with my heart and messing with my mind. all this was last year, its not like this anymore, we just text casually now once in while. nowadays when i ask how its going between them (not like i do that all the time but he sometimes asks me about my love life too so its not like im weird) he says theres the usual ups and downs but its alright. i feel like thats not what youre supposed to answer when people ask about your relationship. so i dont know if im supposed to be happy for them

I had the EXACT situation and my ex-best friend did it to keep me by his side,
He does something he should not be doing, good relationship or not,
but after reading this, happy or not,
it seems to me like you MIGHT be the backup option if shit hits the fan, or was at least?

this was my situation, and holy shit man it was BAD
SO bad.

you should REALLY distance yourself if you want to be honest with him before you do, but you don't owe him any explanation,
but in a way I really get you... most be the person that you felt truly comfortable with him,
in my case I was down SO bad because my ex-best friend was THE only person that understood meand we had this weird emotional and spiritual connection and it was SO hard letting go but it was neccesery .

so eventually I cut him off after HIS gf demanded he cut me off
so yeah
ever since then he messaged me once in a while and it's.. yeah I brush him off

im so sorry you went through that, i cant imagine the strength it must have taken to finally cut him off. but good for you really

i think my situation is a bit milder, like we're not that close. sometimes i dont even know why i still feel like this towards him. when rereading that long thing i just wrote before, i think he just sounds like a shit person. i wouldnt wanna be with someone like that who goes behind his gf back like he has.

i think maybe theres a deeper issue to me having all these feeling still, but i wont go into that, but like it might not even be because of him personally if that makes sense

Is it love at first sight? and yeah that is a red flag if he goes behind his gf back like that

Dreamstone
National star

Dreamstone wrote:

bee wrote:
i think im should go to sleep now. but thank you both for all the kind words and advice <3

Gn bee <3 I hope you have an amazing sleep

Private
Princess of Pop

Arthema wrote:

bee wrote:

Abby wrote:

bee wrote:
i dont think... he is happier with her. maybe he is. they look happy and intimate in the pics. but since were still in contact sometimes we will talk about it. the first two years it was all good and lovely and i didnt mind cus i was in a relationship too back then. but at some point he started talking about breaking up with her but he was unsure. i told him to not stay in a relationship longer that supposed to if it didnt feel right, something i would have told anyone. it gave me hope for a while but they never did break up. sometimes he would tell me about how mad she always was and tell me im so much more positive. one time i randomly walked past them on the street and later when we talked about it i told him i thought his gf was really pretty. he responded with disagreeing and saying she wasnt pretty right there, just mad. at that point i think he also started flirting with me a bit. i would send random selfies on snap, just as streak so like it wasnt just to him, and he would compliment me, telling me i was pretty every time. i began sending more selfies just to get these compliments. sometimes we would talk about the good old times (when we were a thing, not together together, but we were something... for eight months)always him initiating the topic. one time we met on a night out and it was the first time seeing each other in maybe four years. i remember the night as almost magical. i made a thread about it i will swe if i can find it. i think what he was doing was like... testing the waters, seeing how it was being single. but he was also playing with my heart and messing with my mind. all this was last year, its not like this anymore, we just text casually now once in while. nowadays when i ask how its going between them (not like i do that all the time but he sometimes asks me about my love life too so its not like im weird) he says theres the usual ups and downs but its alright. i feel like thats not what youre supposed to answer when people ask about your relationship. so i dont know if im supposed to be happy for them

I had the EXACT situation and my ex-best friend did it to keep me by his side,
He does something he should not be doing, good relationship or not,
but after reading this, happy or not,
it seems to me like you MIGHT be the backup option if shit hits the fan, or was at least?

this was my situation, and holy shit man it was BAD
SO bad.

you should REALLY distance yourself if you want to be honest with him before you do, but you don't owe him any explanation,
but in a way I really get you... most be the person that you felt truly comfortable with him,
in my case I was down SO bad because my ex-best friend was THE only person that understood meand we had this weird emotional and spiritual connection and it was SO hard letting go but it was neccesery .

so eventually I cut him off after HIS gf demanded he cut me off
so yeah
ever since then he messaged me once in a while and it's.. yeah I brush him off

im so sorry you went through that, i cant imagine the strength it must have taken to finally cut him off. but good for you really

i think my situation is a bit milder, like we're not that close. sometimes i dont even know why i still feel like this towards him. when rereading that long thing i just wrote before, i think he just sounds like a shit person. i wouldnt wanna be with someone like that who goes behind his gf back like he has.

i think maybe theres a deeper issue to me having all these feeling still, but i wont go into that, but like it might not even be because of him personally if that makes sense

that's fine, while he did message me again recently he just finally proved that he's not going to grow up and follow my ass forever, or until his gf gets to know it (and yes, sadly literally my ass is involved here ugh)

milder or not, it's okay and valid to feel like that,
doesn't matter what is it and where it's coming from, you deserve to heal and get that sense of peace.
and yes, it makes total sense.

Private
Princess of Pop

Arthema wrote:

bee wrote:
i think im should go to sleep now. but thank you both for all the kind words and advice <3

good night and sleep well <3

Private
Princess of Pop

Arthema wrote:

Dreamstone wrote:

bee wrote:

Abby wrote:
I had the EXACT situation and my ex-best friend did it to keep me by his side,
He does something he should not be doing, good relationship or not,
but after reading this, happy or not,
it seems to me like you MIGHT be the backup option if shit hits the fan, or was at least?

this was my situation, and holy shit man it was BAD
SO bad.

you should REALLY distance yourself if you want to be honest with him before you do, but you don't owe him any explanation,
but in a way I really get you... most be the person that you felt truly comfortable with him,
in my case I was down SO bad because my ex-best friend was THE only person that understood meand we had this weird emotional and spiritual connection and it was SO hard letting go but it was neccesery .

so eventually I cut him off after HIS gf demanded he cut me off
so yeah
ever since then he messaged me once in a while and it's.. yeah I brush him off

im so sorry you went through that, i cant imagine the strength it must have taken to finally cut him off. but good for you really

i think my situation is a bit milder, like we're not that close. sometimes i dont even know why i still feel like this towards him. when rereading that long thing i just wrote before, i think he just sounds like a shit person. i wouldnt wanna be with someone like that who goes behind his gf back like he has.

i think maybe theres a deeper issue to me having all these feeling still, but i wont go into that, but like it might not even be because of him personally if that makes sense

Is it love at first sight? and yeah that is a red flag if he goes behind his gf back like that

nah not love at first sight but
let's say to this day we have dreams about each other at the same time, but it's nothing too special, just random dreams that I see him and we idk
talk on the beach? just normal ass things

and yes it is
like
even IF
he would actually break shit off with her, and come to me, and I was single,
that relationship would be SO bad and who's to say if he won't go off to another girl after that? who knows

Dreamstone
National star

Dreamstone wrote:

Abby wrote:

Dreamstone wrote:

Abby wrote:
I had the EXACT situation and my ex-best friend did it to keep me by his side,
He does something he should not be doing, good relationship or not,
but after reading this, happy or not,
it seems to me like you MIGHT be the backup option if shit hits the fan, or was at least?

this was my situation, and holy shit man it was BAD
SO bad.

you should REALLY distance yourself if you want to be honest with him before you do, but you don't owe him any explanation,
but in a way I really get you... most be the person that you felt truly comfortable with him,
in my case I was down SO bad because my ex-best friend was THE only person that understood meand we had this weird emotional and spiritual connection and it was SO hard letting go but it was neccesery .

so eventually I cut him off after HIS gf demanded he cut me off
so yeah
ever since then he messaged me once in a while and it's.. yeah I brush him off

Yeah you should distance yourself and abby did you like the boy? or he liked you? if you did than that gf is controlling ngl and it must suck cutting off someone that understood you

OH me and him were together for a year, we loved eachother
and that love kept on like.. going on? for years? from both sides, but when I took a break from my ex, he JUMPED in and tried getting back together, but was secretive about it , like SO much trying to keep us a secret and well
I discovered he actually had a girl
that girl he claimed it was not serious with her, the one that he told me and our other friend that she was just something he's not sure about and will break it off...
and yeah
it went so badly

OMG I am so sorry for u but it's good you r over it ig

Dreamstone
National star

Dreamstone wrote:

Abby wrote:

Dreamstone wrote:

bee wrote:
im so sorry you went through that, i cant imagine the strength it must have taken to finally cut him off. but good for you really

i think my situation is a bit milder, like we're not that close. sometimes i dont even know why i still feel like this towards him. when rereading that long thing i just wrote before, i think he just sounds like a shit person. i wouldnt wanna be with someone like that who goes behind his gf back like he has.

i think maybe theres a deeper issue to me having all these feeling still, but i wont go into that, but like it might not even be because of him personally if that makes sense

Is it love at first sight? and yeah that is a red flag if he goes behind his gf back like that

nah not love at first sight but
let's say to this day we have dreams about each other at the same time, but it's nothing too special, just random dreams that I see him and we idk
talk on the beach? just normal ass things

and yes it is
like
even IF
he would actually break shit off with her, and come to me, and I was single,
that relationship would be SO bad and who's to say if he won't go off to another girl after that? who knows

Yeah

Dreamstone
National star

Dreamstone wrote:
Honestly I am single lmao I really don't like no one and no one belives me but it's true I just want to know the feeling of having a crush on someone again sometimes

Dreamstone
National star

Dreamstone wrote:
Bee I hope you get over him and find someone else or focus on yourself or do both <3

Private
National star

Sobbing wrote:
i dont think you should meddle in other peoples relationships
hes taken
theres plenty of other guys who would appreciate you and be in a relationship with you

Private
National star

Sobbing wrote:
its morally wrong to even consider yourself a friend of his when you know you have feelings for him, thats not true friendship
cut him loose move on with ur life