have you ever dumped anyone - Forum

Private
National star

kagura wrote:

Evey wrote:

kagura wrote:
yea, we were together for like 2 years and i left because that was a toxic relationship (you can blame both of us) and i was in love with someone else. we stayed 'best' friends, like literally nothing changed in our relationship other than we were free to be with someone else. he's still in my life, but he moved to another town so we see like one or twice a year, speak every now and then
seriously he's very great person and he thinks i'm very great person, but idk what the fuck was that relationship we were so toxic for each others and i don't think it was never romantic love lmao, but you live and you learn

so weird that two people can be like, nothing bad with them or anything but the combination just creates an environment that isn't good. anyway, glad to hear that you dumped them and that it was for the better!

when u decided to do it, did you know like easily that it was the right choice or what made u certain?

well it was mental health problems mostly and a wrong person, we wanted different things from relationship

i guess i knew this ain't gonna last for a long time, but i didn't have courage or anything to leave. because i didn't really have anything else at that point, i lived in town where i didn't know anybody else etc.
but i met my ex and i fell in love. i honestly didn't care if i end up with him or not, but because i felt things i didn't ever feel for this person, i knew i have to leave anyway. because it wasn't romantic love what i felt for him

Private
World famous

Evey wrote:

Pigeon wrote:

Evey wrote:

Pigeon wrote:
Yeah i did after a relationship of 1.5 years (but we were friends years before that). We had issues from one year in and we fought more and more even though we were so used to each other. We were in the same basketball team as well so we had to see each other even if we would break up... this is why we tried so hard to make it work, but when he did not have a present for my birthday (according to him it was still on its way but with all the planning issues before i couldnt handle it) that was too much for me and i decided to break up with him on my birthday. And it actually was a relief for the both of us after half a year of fighting

fighting sucks so bad
i wonder what a "reasonable" amount of fighting is

It depends... If the fights are quite small and mostly about little things like the dishwasher or something, then its fine. Then you can make it up to each other relatively easily and change the way you behave in a good way. You would make each other better, because of these different opinions.

However, with us, we fought because we had different morals and that is something you cannot change for someone else. He was very family oriented, therefore dependent on them and did not really share his feelings with me. I was very individual, had family issues (my parents were going through a divorce) and had the feeling he did not understand me when i needed him. He once even said i had to visit a psychologist because he couldnt help me and i still tried to make the relationship work by going there. Psychologist ended up telling me the relationship wouldnt work and that i did not have exceptional problems.

yeah i feel pretty misunderstood because of similar things as well, concerning family and all that. kinda sucks. wonder how similar you have to be for it to be not too similar but still understood aha. like, ddo i need to find someone with a complicated family history just because i have one? feels kinda weird if that's the case, but being misunderstood even after having tried to explained a lot is kinda annoying

Pigeon
Youtube star

Pigeon wrote:
When reading your story it feels like you have really given it a try and you are not happy with your relationship anymore. Do you think it will be better when you talk about this or have you given up the hope / energy to try?

Private
World famous

Evey wrote:

kagura wrote:

Evey wrote:

kagura wrote:
yea, we were together for like 2 years and i left because that was a toxic relationship (you can blame both of us) and i was in love with someone else. we stayed 'best' friends, like literally nothing changed in our relationship other than we were free to be with someone else. he's still in my life, but he moved to another town so we see like one or twice a year, speak every now and then
seriously he's very great person and he thinks i'm very great person, but idk what the fuck was that relationship we were so toxic for each others and i don't think it was never romantic love lmao, but you live and you learn

so weird that two people can be like, nothing bad with them or anything but the combination just creates an environment that isn't good. anyway, glad to hear that you dumped them and that it was for the better!

when u decided to do it, did you know like easily that it was the right choice or what made u certain?

well it was mental health problems mostly and a wrong person, we wanted different things from relationship

i guess i knew this ain't gonna last for a long time, but i didn't have courage or anything to leave. because i didn't really have anything else at that point, i lived in town where i didn't know anybody else etc.
but i met my ex and i fell in love. i honestly didn't care if i end up with him or not, but because i felt things i didn't ever feel for this person, i knew i have to leave anyway. because it wasn't romantic love what i felt for him

hmm well then that's a pretty easy thing to notice at least, to not feel romantic love for the person, sounds like a relieving reason in a way

Pigeon
Youtube star

Pigeon wrote:

Evey wrote:

Pigeon wrote:

Evey wrote:
fighting sucks so bad
i wonder what a "reasonable" amount of fighting is

It depends... If the fights are quite small and mostly about little things like the dishwasher or something, then its fine. Then you can make it up to each other relatively easily and change the way you behave in a good way. You would make each other better, because of these different opinions.

However, with us, we fought because we had different morals and that is something you cannot change for someone else. He was very family oriented, therefore dependent on them and did not really share his feelings with me. I was very individual, had family issues (my parents were going through a divorce) and had the feeling he did not understand me when i needed him. He once even said i had to visit a psychologist because he couldnt help me and i still tried to make the relationship work by going there. Psychologist ended up telling me the relationship wouldnt work and that i did not have exceptional problems.

yeah i feel pretty misunderstood because of similar things as well, concerning family and all that. kinda sucks. wonder how similar you have to be for it to be not too similar but still understood aha. like, ddo i need to find someone with a complicated family history just because i have one? feels kinda weird if that's the case, but being misunderstood even after having tried to explained a lot is kinda annoying

I don't think you have to have a real match on the family history. You just need someone who listens and understands your perspective of it. Someone who has experienced the exact same things might think totally different about it. I think it is more of a emotional connection and willingness to listen than it is similar history.

Private
World famous

Evey wrote:

Pigeon wrote:
When reading your story it feels like you have really given it a try and you are not happy with your relationship anymore. Do you think it will be better when you talk about this or have you given up the hope / energy to try?

i feel very 50/50 about it all. i would accoustom to the change if he said that it was over and i think i would survive. it's the fact that i have to break up with him that makes it a bigger obstacle. feels like i am giving up for reasons that aren't good enough. scary to give up what we have as well. and it is so much better than before but still not great, and we've tried a lot. i question our compatability. and our history has been so draining which affects how i feel about him, in a bad way. even if it has made me grow

Private
Popstar

ouch wrote:

Evey wrote:

ouch wrote:
Yes, because he blocked me everywhere? And then he unblocked me n he was like "we need to talk bla bla bla" and I said I break up with u before he got the chance lol, cus thats epic stupid behaviour of him fr. He was a poopy head tho and I didn't like him anymore (or ever probably), so it was fine. Like 1,5 years mby

yeah that sounds mega weird, why block sjksjdsj u can just mute a person if u need space for a while

i think most people i've been with are people i've learned to like rather than me being interested first and i think that might be one of my problems
like i usually instead just like that they like me

He was like "I didn't want to hurt you so I blocked you" which made zero sense, but it just solidified for me that I really should break up with him lol

Private
World famous

Evey wrote:

Pigeon wrote:

Evey wrote:

Pigeon wrote:
It depends... If the fights are quite small and mostly about little things like the dishwasher or something, then its fine. Then you can make it up to each other relatively easily and change the way you behave in a good way. You would make each other better, because of these different opinions.

However, with us, we fought because we had different morals and that is something you cannot change for someone else. He was very family oriented, therefore dependent on them and did not really share his feelings with me. I was very individual, had family issues (my parents were going through a divorce) and had the feeling he did not understand me when i needed him. He once even said i had to visit a psychologist because he couldnt help me and i still tried to make the relationship work by going there. Psychologist ended up telling me the relationship wouldnt work and that i did not have exceptional problems.

yeah i feel pretty misunderstood because of similar things as well, concerning family and all that. kinda sucks. wonder how similar you have to be for it to be not too similar but still understood aha. like, ddo i need to find someone with a complicated family history just because i have one? feels kinda weird if that's the case, but being misunderstood even after having tried to explained a lot is kinda annoying

I don't think you have to have a real match on the family history. You just need someone who listens and understands your perspective of it. Someone who has experienced the exact same things might think totally different about it. I think it is more of a emotional connection and willingness to listen than it is similar history.

mm i think that's a very good point

MissLondon
Queen of Queens

MissLondon wrote:
Yes, he was lazy and financially unstable
6 months

Pigeon
Youtube star

Pigeon wrote:

Evey wrote:

Pigeon wrote:
When reading your story it feels like you have really given it a try and you are not happy with your relationship anymore. Do you think it will be better when you talk about this or have you given up the hope / energy to try?

i feel very 50/50 about it all. i would accoustom to the change if he said that it was over and i think i would survive. it's the fact that i have to break up with him that makes it a bigger obstacle. feels like i am giving up for reasons that aren't good enough. scary to give up what we have as well. and it is so much better than before but still not great, and we've tried a lot. i question our compatability. and our history has been so draining which affects how i feel about him, in a bad way. even if it has made me grow

Would you feel relieved if he would break up with you now?

Private
World famous

Evey wrote:

Pigeon wrote:

Evey wrote:

Pigeon wrote:
When reading your story it feels like you have really given it a try and you are not happy with your relationship anymore. Do you think it will be better when you talk about this or have you given up the hope / energy to try?

i feel very 50/50 about it all. i would accoustom to the change if he said that it was over and i think i would survive. it's the fact that i have to break up with him that makes it a bigger obstacle. feels like i am giving up for reasons that aren't good enough. scary to give up what we have as well. and it is so much better than before but still not great, and we've tried a lot. i question our compatability. and our history has been so draining which affects how i feel about him, in a bad way. even if it has made me grow

Would you feel relieved if he would break up with you now?

sad, scared and relieved i think

Private
World famous

Evey wrote:

Pigeon wrote:

Evey wrote:

Pigeon wrote:
When reading your story it feels like you have really given it a try and you are not happy with your relationship anymore. Do you think it will be better when you talk about this or have you given up the hope / energy to try?

i feel very 50/50 about it all. i would accoustom to the change if he said that it was over and i think i would survive. it's the fact that i have to break up with him that makes it a bigger obstacle. feels like i am giving up for reasons that aren't good enough. scary to give up what we have as well. and it is so much better than before but still not great, and we've tried a lot. i question our compatability. and our history has been so draining which affects how i feel about him, in a bad way. even if it has made me grow

Would you feel relieved if he would break up with you now?

i think i feel like i should do it but that my reasons aren't good enough

Pigeon
Youtube star

Pigeon wrote:

Evey wrote:

Pigeon wrote:

Evey wrote:
i feel very 50/50 about it all. i would accoustom to the change if he said that it was over and i think i would survive. it's the fact that i have to break up with him that makes it a bigger obstacle. feels like i am giving up for reasons that aren't good enough. scary to give up what we have as well. and it is so much better than before but still not great, and we've tried a lot. i question our compatability. and our history has been so draining which affects how i feel about him, in a bad way. even if it has made me grow

Would you feel relieved if he would break up with you now?

sad, scared and relieved i think

When I broke up with my boyfriend i was more scared about breaking up than the time after that. And i feel like thats not the case with you

I would recommend a serious conversation about this tho. Talking about your doubts, like you have described them here, about what would have to improve for you and listening to his needs. Then you can both decide if these expectations are doable or if they might be too high for you

Pigeon
Youtube star

Pigeon wrote:

Evey wrote:

Pigeon wrote:

Evey wrote:
i feel very 50/50 about it all. i would accoustom to the change if he said that it was over and i think i would survive. it's the fact that i have to break up with him that makes it a bigger obstacle. feels like i am giving up for reasons that aren't good enough. scary to give up what we have as well. and it is so much better than before but still not great, and we've tried a lot. i question our compatability. and our history has been so draining which affects how i feel about him, in a bad way. even if it has made me grow

Would you feel relieved if he would break up with you now?

i think i feel like i should do it but that my reasons aren't good enough

Your feelings are always a good reason. If you do not feel happy anymore, then no one can question it, because no one can feel what you feel. So then you know deep down what you would want to do

Private
World famous

Evey wrote:

Pigeon wrote:

Evey wrote:

Pigeon wrote:
Would you feel relieved if he would break up with you now?

sad, scared and relieved i think

When I broke up with my boyfriend i was more scared about breaking up than the time after that. And i feel like thats not the case with you

I would recommend a serious conversation about this tho. Talking about your doubts, like you have described them here, about what would have to improve for you and listening to his needs. Then you can both decide if these expectations are doable or if they might be too high for you

yeah we have been talking for 2 days since i actually did write a "i break up with u" message and we have written after that. the last thing he wrote was that he wants me to make clear examples of things that we have discussed/argued about in a poor manner and how it should be changed. and i have no answer because i just feel like everything hurts/my brain shuts down when we argue because the communicational barrier is so high up💀 if that makes sense