To prioritise love - Forum - Virtual Popstar

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Marcelien wrote:

Saintal wrote:

Marcelien wrote:

Saintal wrote:
Hmm

I am with a great guy that I love very much and have never been this in love with someone, or the idea of love, ever. At the same time, I have a great strive to become the best version of myself and to always be ready to live on my own, by myself, if the relationship goes to shit/he dies or whatever. I think about this scenario a lot, like with most things. I see the worst scenario and don't wanna jump into things where I couldn't take that worst.

..So I am amazed that a lot of you seems to know exactly how you would prioritise in these situations. I guess I am happy for you all, that you see things so clearly!

im also a "fellow overthinker" but ive learned to not think about things like that too hard. i give myself anxiety attacks by thinking about losing someone i love, like my parents or my boyfriend.

when it comes to the part about "strive to become the best version of myself", i think that i AM the best version of myself when im with him. he lets me be myself to the fullest. he doesnt always understand it, but he loves me. i also wanna be able to take care of myself, which is why im making sure i get an education that is meaningful and try to get a job that is fulfilling and pays the bills if i were to ever be a single mother. but i also wanna have a good income to make the best possible life for me and him (and future family).

we lived apart for a year in 2018/2019, cus we went to schools at the opposite sides of the country (i was far up north in norway, he was as south as possible in norway), and it worked out well. it ended up only being for a year, but it was possible it was for 6-7 years. cus i wanted to take a psychologist degree there, and i would have to stay there the entire time. but then we planned he could get a job up there, and we would eventually move back to where we wanted to be. luckily i changed my mind about the education.
i dont think i would ever take a job where i would lose someone. like claire said: its either both of us, or none of us. we love each other too much, and need each other too much to give up something so strong.

lol, sorry for the rant.

I just think that career is very important to me and my happiness and self value, so that's why I'm not sure what I would do if I got a job opportunity but it wouldn't fit the future plans I had with my partner. I don't think I would enjoy my life too much if I had a partner I loved very much but didn't work with what I wanted...

It's nice to hear that you have found someone you love that much, and work so well with!

hope u dont think i judge u for thinking career is important. just realized it might come off a bit rude-ish, what i said cx
i also think career and work is important, but i also think there is no "one dream job". if u get a good offer that isnt really fitting into ur life, and u have to give up something big to get it, its not the dream job/offer. there will be other jobopportunities. it might also look like ur dream job, but once u get it, its not that great after all. u dont know till u try it, but if u try it, u might lose something else that u cant get back. u know?
andi think id prefer to work somewhere im 80% happy with work, but still able to have my dream man, rather than losing the love of my life to have a job i 100% love.

yeah, im super lucky to have him. its like i said to my dad the other day. im super unlucky with stuff i wish i was lucky at (winning contests, getting good pulls when i open pokemon card packs (heh, nerd alert), and other stuff. but hes like "yeh, but u struck out in love tho?". and hes right, i did.
hope u have/get that as well. or if its not that important to u, i hope u get ur dream job<3

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Youtube Star

devilcake wrote:

Saintal wrote:

devilcake wrote:

Saintal wrote:
Very interesting!! Is there something you prioritise higher than career and love?

Comfort, mainly, like for example i wouldn't move anywhere for someone i loved i don't think, it'd have to be somewhere i would be comfortable being.

also assuming we're talking about romantic love, i think i'd put platonic love higher, like i wouldn't date anyone if it messed with the friends and family i care about, or like if they'd want me to get rid of my cat....... like i don't care how hard i've fallen for someone id never give up my kitty... things like that.

I think I sort of prioritise platonic friendships above romantic ones (or atleast I did), because they are more dependable?

yeah and like obviously it depends on the friendships as well, but personally i've had my closest friends since i was 6-9 years old, those years are infinitely more valuable to me than someone i've known for say a year? (like it's obvi not just about time, but like you say theyre more dependable.)

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World Famous

Evey wrote:

MossPiglet wrote:

Saintal wrote:

MossPiglet wrote:

If you get good job opportunity and question the relatonship, it's very much sign it's more appealing and important for you. I think if the person is really you want to dedicate a future with one it wouldn't be a question.
Follow what you feel like is the best for you.
Do you guys live together? would it be possible for them to move with you near the job?

I'm not in this situation, just to point it out. With the opportunity I mean. I'm just thinking about... values in general. Priorities.

Oh I see! I just don't like the idea to work for someone to get rich on my work in general. I've had bad experience in job field where I and others been taken advantage of. It's something I do for having an income to live in this society. My dreams are more of traveling with people i love, and experience fun things

I understand and to be used by someone is the worst... I'm sorry you've been through that! On the other hand I love the idea of going to work and feeling like I am interested in what I do. That I am doing something that I am proud of. And to have colleges to see at work every day that I can exchange knowledge with, work with and have a professional but friendly and dependable relationship with. And take a drink with sometimes if the working place dares being that great, for the "sense of community" or what one could call it...

But I am with you aswell.. I don't want to give up too much of my freetime when I can actually travel and be with the ones I love....

Tricky things, priorities ahah

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DEITY wrote:
I prioritise love a lot but if I can get my dream job or something I just really really want n it wouldnt work for any reason I would probably break up since life is too short to not go after the things in life n its something I've promised myself for a long time, to not let love affect the big choices in life

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Evey wrote:

Marcelien wrote:

Saintal wrote:

Marcelien wrote:
im also a "fellow overthinker" but ive learned to not think about things like that too hard. i give myself anxiety attacks by thinking about losing someone i love, like my parents or my boyfriend.

when it comes to the part about "strive to become the best version of myself", i think that i AM the best version of myself when im with him. he lets me be myself to the fullest. he doesnt always understand it, but he loves me. i also wanna be able to take care of myself, which is why im making sure i get an education that is meaningful and try to get a job that is fulfilling and pays the bills if i were to ever be a single mother. but i also wanna have a good income to make the best possible life for me and him (and future family).

we lived apart for a year in 2018/2019, cus we went to schools at the opposite sides of the country (i was far up north in norway, he was as south as possible in norway), and it worked out well. it ended up only being for a year, but it was possible it was for 6-7 years. cus i wanted to take a psychologist degree there, and i would have to stay there the entire time. but then we planned he could get a job up there, and we would eventually move back to where we wanted to be. luckily i changed my mind about the education.
i dont think i would ever take a job where i would lose someone. like claire said: its either both of us, or none of us. we love each other too much, and need each other too much to give up something so strong.

lol, sorry for the rant.

I just think that career is very important to me and my happiness and self value, so that's why I'm not sure what I would do if I got a job opportunity but it wouldn't fit the future plans I had with my partner. I don't think I would enjoy my life too much if I had a partner I loved very much but didn't work with what I wanted...

It's nice to hear that you have found someone you love that much, and work so well with!

hope u dont think i judge u for thinking career is important. just realized it might come off a bit rude-ish, what i said cx
i also think career and work is important, but i also think there is no "one dream job". if u get a good offer that isnt really fitting into ur life, and u have to give up something big to get it, its not the dream job/offer. there will be other jobopportunities. it might also look like ur dream job, but once u get it, its not that great after all. u dont know till u try it, but if u try it, u might lose something else that u cant get back. u know?
andi think id prefer to work somewhere im 80% happy with work, but still able to have my dream man, rather than losing the love of my life to have a job i 100% love.

yeah, im super lucky to have him. its like i said to my dad the other day. im super unlucky with stuff i wish i was lucky at (winning contests, getting good pulls when i open pokemon card packs (heh, nerd alert), and other stuff. but hes like "yeh, but u struck out in love tho?". and hes right, i did.
hope u have/get that as well. or if its not that important to u, i hope u get ur dream job<3

the 80%-thing made a lot of sense!! i can almost sign up on that ahah

i sort of have it.. i have a man i love very much. but i guess i don't put "all my money in the same bag" for now since he is dreaming of the day he gets kids, and i've never wanted kids and dislike the idea of giving birth and all that ahah. but thank you anyway! <3

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Evey wrote:

devilcake wrote:

Saintal wrote:

devilcake wrote:
Comfort, mainly, like for example i wouldn't move anywhere for someone i loved i don't think, it'd have to be somewhere i would be comfortable being.

also assuming we're talking about romantic love, i think i'd put platonic love higher, like i wouldn't date anyone if it messed with the friends and family i care about, or like if they'd want me to get rid of my cat....... like i don't care how hard i've fallen for someone id never give up my kitty... things like that.

I think I sort of prioritise platonic friendships above romantic ones (or atleast I did), because they are more dependable?

yeah and like obviously it depends on the friendships as well, but personally i've had my closest friends since i was 6-9 years old, those years are infinitely more valuable to me than someone i've known for say a year? (like it's obvi not just about time, but like you say theyre more dependable.)

yeah of course!

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Evey wrote:

Waifu wrote:
I prioritise love a lot but if I can get my dream job or something I just really really want n it wouldnt work for any reason I would probably break up since life is too short to not go after the things in life n its something I've promised myself for a long time, to not let love affect the big choices in life

yeah that makes a lot of sense

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Marcelien wrote:

Saintal wrote:

Marcelien wrote:

Saintal wrote:
I just think that career is very important to me and my happiness and self value, so that's why I'm not sure what I would do if I got a job opportunity but it wouldn't fit the future plans I had with my partner. I don't think I would enjoy my life too much if I had a partner I loved very much but didn't work with what I wanted...

It's nice to hear that you have found someone you love that much, and work so well with!

hope u dont think i judge u for thinking career is important. just realized it might come off a bit rude-ish, what i said cx
i also think career and work is important, but i also think there is no "one dream job". if u get a good offer that isnt really fitting into ur life, and u have to give up something big to get it, its not the dream job/offer. there will be other jobopportunities. it might also look like ur dream job, but once u get it, its not that great after all. u dont know till u try it, but if u try it, u might lose something else that u cant get back. u know?
andi think id prefer to work somewhere im 80% happy with work, but still able to have my dream man, rather than losing the love of my life to have a job i 100% love.

yeah, im super lucky to have him. its like i said to my dad the other day. im super unlucky with stuff i wish i was lucky at (winning contests, getting good pulls when i open pokemon card packs (heh, nerd alert), and other stuff. but hes like "yeh, but u struck out in love tho?". and hes right, i did.
hope u have/get that as well. or if its not that important to u, i hope u get ur dream job<3

the 80%-thing made a lot of sense!! i can almost sign up on that ahah

i sort of have it.. i have a man i love very much. but i guess i don't put "all my money in the same bag" for now since he is dreaming of the day he gets kids, and i've never wanted kids and dislike the idea of giving birth and all that ahah. but thank you anyway! <3

yeah, ive discussed it with my mom many times. she has a job she LOVES (bioengineer), and her colleagues are great and all. but she had this TERRIBLE boss for like YEARS. and i asked her so many times why she doesnt just get a new job. she says she loves it just enough that it makes it worth it. and i respect that. get a job that makes u happy. it might not be perfect, but if its something u love, its enough.

its a difficult time, when u start thinking about kids. i have a cousin who always said she never wanted kids. hated the idea. but now recently shes getting baby fever, and i think she and her boyfriend is trying atm. some day something just clicked, and she wanted kids. maybe that will happen to u? but its not something u need in life. i honestly think its good that some poeple dont want kids cx were already overpopulated as it is. maybe u could be liek a foster-home or something? u could take in troubled teens n stuff, so u dont have to do the WHOLE "bringing them up", or the birthing-part cx

i hope u guys figure it out. its like u said: priorities are hard! whatever u land on; dude or no dude, job or no job, kids or no kids; i hope u live a happy life c:

Persona
Streetmusician

Persona wrote:
As I get older, I prioritise love more and more. I do think (for me anyway) life would be completely empty without love. Not just sexual and romantic love, but friendship and communal love. I also perceive love as less dramatic and serious the older I get, I see it more simply. Not to say our love for others is always simple, but the act of loving itself is natural and comes easily. And I think many people put barriers up around them because they see it as incredibly scary and important, instead of relaxing and letting it flow easily. It is simultaneously this complex emotion, simply transpired. Obv other people feel differently and have different opinions, but this is just what I think.

I always used to laugh at people giving up job opportunities because of their partner or whatever. And now I think that's a fine decision. Life is too short

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meilin wrote:

Angelica wrote:
No i would not choose a great job over my love, if that means we would have to break up.
A job is mainly a way of income and is not something i personally live for. So i would definitely choose the second best job if that means i can stay with my boyfriend.

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Evey wrote:

Marcelien wrote:

Saintal wrote:

Marcelien wrote:
hope u dont think i judge u for thinking career is important. just realized it might come off a bit rude-ish, what i said cx
i also think career and work is important, but i also think there is no "one dream job". if u get a good offer that isnt really fitting into ur life, and u have to give up something big to get it, its not the dream job/offer. there will be other jobopportunities. it might also look like ur dream job, but once u get it, its not that great after all. u dont know till u try it, but if u try it, u might lose something else that u cant get back. u know?
andi think id prefer to work somewhere im 80% happy with work, but still able to have my dream man, rather than losing the love of my life to have a job i 100% love.

yeah, im super lucky to have him. its like i said to my dad the other day. im super unlucky with stuff i wish i was lucky at (winning contests, getting good pulls when i open pokemon card packs (heh, nerd alert), and other stuff. but hes like "yeh, but u struck out in love tho?". and hes right, i did.
hope u have/get that as well. or if its not that important to u, i hope u get ur dream job<3

the 80%-thing made a lot of sense!! i can almost sign up on that ahah

i sort of have it.. i have a man i love very much. but i guess i don't put "all my money in the same bag" for now since he is dreaming of the day he gets kids, and i've never wanted kids and dislike the idea of giving birth and all that ahah. but thank you anyway! <3

yeah, ive discussed it with my mom many times. she has a job she LOVES (bioengineer), and her colleagues are great and all. but she had this TERRIBLE boss for like YEARS. and i asked her so many times why she doesnt just get a new job. she says she loves it just enough that it makes it worth it. and i respect that. get a job that makes u happy. it might not be perfect, but if its something u love, its enough.

its a difficult time, when u start thinking about kids. i have a cousin who always said she never wanted kids. hated the idea. but now recently shes getting baby fever, and i think she and her boyfriend is trying atm. some day something just clicked, and she wanted kids. maybe that will happen to u? but its not something u need in life. i honestly think its good that some poeple dont want kids cx were already overpopulated as it is. maybe u could be liek a foster-home or something? u could take in troubled teens n stuff, so u dont have to do the WHOLE "bringing them up", or the birthing-part cx

i hope u guys figure it out. its like u said: priorities are hard! whatever u land on; dude or no dude, job or no job, kids or no kids; i hope u live a happy life c:

yeah i've heard about bad bosses aswell... seems like a very common thing sadly :´(

thank you so much that's very nice to hear. :`) we will just have to see where this all ends...

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Versailles wrote:

Saintal wrote:

MossPiglet wrote:

Saintal wrote:
I'm not in this situation, just to point it out. With the opportunity I mean. I'm just thinking about... values in general. Priorities.

Oh I see! I just don't like the idea to work for someone to get rich on my work in general. I've had bad experience in job field where I and others been taken advantage of. It's something I do for having an income to live in this society. My dreams are more of traveling with people i love, and experience fun things

I understand and to be used by someone is the worst... I'm sorry you've been through that! On the other hand I love the idea of going to work and feeling like I am interested in what I do. That I am doing something that I am proud of. And to have colleges to see at work every day that I can exchange knowledge with, work with and have a professional but friendly and dependable relationship with. And take a drink with sometimes if the working place dares being that great, for the "sense of community" or what one could call it...

But I am with you aswell.. I don't want to give up too much of my freetime when I can actually travel and be with the ones I love....

Tricky things, priorities ahah

Same dream abt job where one can really dedicate tie, improe, have friendly relationship with collegues n stuff. But I think it's romatized thoughts because most of the time it's not like that. Not that it's too bad of a job, but it's not exiting as one thought or hoped for. My sis got the dream job, it's still job and lots of meh in it and nothing too exciting. But it's essentinal to have in everyday life and one important thing to make routines.
I think it's better to prioritize family, good friends, your lover/future spouse etc. If I had a pet I would rather prioritize it than job. I'm very social and don't have a family because of domestic abuse (only my sis who I have good relationship with) so any type of relationship, friendship or loved ones are top priority.

I don't take that for granted and would not trade that.

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Marcelien wrote:

Saintal wrote:

Marcelien wrote:

Saintal wrote:
the 80%-thing made a lot of sense!! i can almost sign up on that ahah

i sort of have it.. i have a man i love very much. but i guess i don't put "all my money in the same bag" for now since he is dreaming of the day he gets kids, and i've never wanted kids and dislike the idea of giving birth and all that ahah. but thank you anyway! <3

yeah, ive discussed it with my mom many times. she has a job she LOVES (bioengineer), and her colleagues are great and all. but she had this TERRIBLE boss for like YEARS. and i asked her so many times why she doesnt just get a new job. she says she loves it just enough that it makes it worth it. and i respect that. get a job that makes u happy. it might not be perfect, but if its something u love, its enough.

its a difficult time, when u start thinking about kids. i have a cousin who always said she never wanted kids. hated the idea. but now recently shes getting baby fever, and i think she and her boyfriend is trying atm. some day something just clicked, and she wanted kids. maybe that will happen to u? but its not something u need in life. i honestly think its good that some poeple dont want kids cx were already overpopulated as it is. maybe u could be liek a foster-home or something? u could take in troubled teens n stuff, so u dont have to do the WHOLE "bringing them up", or the birthing-part cx

i hope u guys figure it out. its like u said: priorities are hard! whatever u land on; dude or no dude, job or no job, kids or no kids; i hope u live a happy life c:

yeah i've heard about bad bosses aswell... seems like a very common thing sadly :´(

thank you so much that's very nice to hear. :`) we will just have to see where this all ends...

shes luckily retired now c:

<3

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Youtube Star

Limbs wrote:
prioritise love yes but not just the traditional "find a romantic partner and stay with them for the rest of ur life no matter what" love. prioritise platonic love, love for ur community, love for urself, romantic love that is fleeting and simply visits you for a while & creates something wonderful that happens and then ends (and it ending isn't a bad thing), healthy love even if it doesn't look like what you think love should look like

the job question doesn't apply to me so i don't have anything to say about that

Account deleted

wrote:
Do you prioritise love? How high is it on your "list"?
perhaps its the 3rd thing after
1st: improving myself in every aspect possible
2nd: having a stable life
3rd: love mayb??? i wudnt mind it

Would you end a good relationship that you've been in for years, if you got a great job opportunity?
it depends........... i am torn, a good relationship but an opportunity to achieve greater success....... i am still torn
it depends on what field it is, if it's something that would make me miserable despite what i earn, i'd probably rather look into keeping the relationship

What is the most important life factor for your happiness and fulfillment?
to be happy w myself and to have a stable life 😐 although i'm 100% sure i'd eventually crave love/friendship too