Forum

Warrior wrote:
I think 60+ is probably too old to have kids, but if you have kids when you're 35 you'll be 55 when the kid is 20. So I don't see a problem there. 30-40 isn't old

Rowan wrote:
I don't enjoy talking about it with them (or honestly people in general) bc they always sorta make it sound like I don't appreciate them or I sorta 'blame' them even tho I'm also aware that due to their age they're financially more stable and stuff and I'm def like   privileged compared to people my age who didn't have that

It also def makes me sad because when I was little my grandparents looked after me a lot n im p sure if im lucky enough to ever have children, that my parents prob won't be around anymore? because I know my mom would be there for us but yeah.. 

Versailles wrote:
Ya it's very uncomrotable to be open and vulnerable abt your feelings and thoughts. I think they go to defense mode, and look at it as you're frustrated and angry. If you go to a therapist it's good to start there to talk about the issues. It's sad if you feel this way and go thinking about it. 

My dad won't be there long in my kids life or at all. I accepted that, and I got sisters and friends around. Appreciate the moment and focus on the positives as well. The positive sides are also often forgotten when one is in bad state of mind. 

Rowan wrote:
yea i think tht adds 2 th pressure for me bc i dont have any of that either so i basically feel like once theyre gone my whole support system is or something idk

Versailles wrote:
you'll have a lover and lifepartner perhaps if you think of family. I do believe future is brighter than you think. But I understand your concern and the stress that builds up thinking about everything. I hope it gets better and find a way to cope with the anxiety. I think your parents cares about you lots and think about it too but dont say much on it. I don't know, but sounds like you care a lot and like them.  <3

Rowan wrote:
i feel like her cancer diagnosis plays a big part in it for me like otherwise i wouldnt rlly think about it maybe? bbut i def notice that im like    stressed about it bc u dont know when it gets bad again 
N in my head at some point it just turned into sth like   if u were born 10 years earlier u'd not have 2 think abt that when ur were like   a 10 year old child bbut instead when ur 20 n   an adult u kno idk

ppl in my family also generally dont become older than 75 
n the past year like 4 people under 55 have died in the family idk lol its all on my mind a lot, that prob made it worse too

GvcciGoddess wrote:
Yes i think the cancer is what brought these thoughts and worries up. Like when a parent gets sick like that u truly realize and see ur parents mortality and death suddenly faces u and doesnt feel so far away anymore and u start to rly take in that one day they r gonna die and u will have to deal with losing them. 

I also feel that ur worries are even more understandable since ur family tends to not live past 75. It makes me understand why u consider 35 to be older than a lot of us do. like ppl in my family tend to have very long lives, my grandma died at 86, my great grandmother lived until i was 11, and my grandpa is almost 90 now and is still shockingly very energetic and healthy for his age so to me death feels very distant. But ur feelings are completely valid and understandable considering the circumstances