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everything is falling apart and i'm miserable
Private
World Famous



Barbarella wrote:
hutsu wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
hutsu wrote:
thanks for the support, i appreciate it. i'm planning on starting to pack things up pretty soon but it'll be about 3 weeks before i can move my things at the earliest so it's a bit too early to start now (and i just got back home from the hospital yesterday so i need a couple days to recover at least).

i know dividing the work with him would be as productive as telling a rock it needs to take the trash so i'll skip that part. i counted 17+ empty beer and energy drink cans on the sofa table today that have been sitting there for at least 3 days. he puts dirty dishes on the living room floor etc, i'm just trying to cope until i get rid of him and then i swear i'll never let anyone treat my home as badly as he does. at this point i can't really do anything to stop him (but pack up all of my dishes which i can't wait to do).
I'm glad you're hanging in there. Stop letting him use your meds, lock them up cuz I dont put him stealing them past him, and let him do his thing til he leaves, definitely stay w/ ur mom for a few days if u need a break to rest 
i'm gonna empty my lockable sideboard from any of his things and start keeping my meds locked in there because he has stolen them before so


thanks for saying this, i'm still apparently giving him a lot more chances to walk over me than i thought i did. i'm really thankful for you guys talking to me and sharing your stories, it means a lot
Yeah if he wasn't using his own meds recreationally he wouldn't have run out.
it's some tweaker shit
20
Posts: 8725
Date: 24-02-2021 01:58
Private
World Famous



Barbarella wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
BrainFilth wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
I was raised by a junkie. Opiates and alcohol were her DOC but she was def into stimulants as well. I've seen plenty of ppl (including my mom) in stimulant psychosis or just plain twacked 

Also not proud of it but I dated a meth head for almost a year, and of course we used together, also have fooled around w/ amphetamines (adderall and vyvanse) for recreational/study purposes 

It takes one to know one. Seriously taking an amphetamine under the guise of doing productive things and then getting locked into video games or porn for hours is tweaker shit, should know I've done it
fucking
loved
vyvanse
addies fucked up my kidneys

I'm so lucky I don't have whatever fucking gene causes you to get sucked into addiction bc I did some DUMB FUCKIN SHIT
I preferred addies they were more of a dirty buzzy high, vyvanse was more smooth, but you know if my sister gave me one oh yeah I'd take it 

I like stims a lil too much had to give them a rest, hear u on doing stupid shit, lmfao, have to steer clear of stim lovers cuz I just have trouble saying no 
I used to snort addies and do puzzles on the floor and it fucked my back up.
one time I got some L that was definitely cut with meth or something similar and I did lunges for like 8 hours and fucked up my hip forever.
I can't do things that alter my ability to read my body
20
Posts: 8725
Date: 24-02-2021 02:02
Anachronism
National Star



Anachronism wrote:
hutsu wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
hutsu wrote:
thanks for the support, i appreciate it. i'm planning on starting to pack things up pretty soon but it'll be about 3 weeks before i can move my things at the earliest so it's a bit too early to start now (and i just got back home from the hospital yesterday so i need a couple days to recover at least).

i know dividing the work with him would be as productive as telling a rock it needs to take the trash so i'll skip that part. i counted 17+ empty beer and energy drink cans on the sofa table today that have been sitting there for at least 3 days. he puts dirty dishes on the living room floor etc, i'm just trying to cope until i get rid of him and then i swear i'll never let anyone treat my home as badly as he does. at this point i can't really do anything to stop him (but pack up all of my dishes which i can't wait to do).
I'm glad you're hanging in there. Stop letting him use your meds, lock them up cuz I dont put him stealing them past him, and let him do his thing til he leaves, definitely stay w/ ur mom for a few days if u need a break to rest 
i'm gonna empty my lockable sideboard from any of his things and start keeping my meds locked in there because he has stolen them before so


thanks for saying this, i'm still apparently giving him a lot more chances to walk over me than i thought i did. i'm really thankful for you guys talking to me and sharing your stories, it means a lot
Suspicions confirmed 

I know tweakers when I seem em and you do stupid desperate shit when ur fiending, I stole my sisters vyvanse and that's when I like... took a break and just smoked a lot of weed cuz what an awful thing to do 

Yeah if you ever need to talk pm me, I definitely let my cheating bf walk all over me at the time, you don't even realize when it happens 

Do you think you two had/have codependency issues 
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 24-02-2021 02:03 | Times changed: 1
Hutsu
National Star



hutsu wrote:
BrainFilth wrote:
hutsu wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
I'm glad you're hanging in there. Stop letting him use your meds, lock them up cuz I dont put him stealing them past him, and let him do his thing til he leaves, definitely stay w/ ur mom for a few days if u need a break to rest 
i'm gonna empty my lockable sideboard from any of his things and start keeping my meds locked in there because he has stolen them before so


thanks for saying this, i'm still apparently giving him a lot more chances to walk over me than i thought i did. i'm really thankful for you guys talking to me and sharing your stories, it means a lot
Yeah if he wasn't using his own meds recreationally he wouldn't have run out.
it's some tweaker shit
i'm honestly so tired of defending him using meds in a pretty questionable manner, like i know that for real almost any meds don't work in low or even normal doses, he's type 1 diabetic and idk if that affects it or if it's something else but like  i've witnessed how his body reacts to a lots of meds and it's not 100% about him just wanting to have a good time but i can't say that he wasn't using this as an excuse for sometimes just taking amphetamines for no any medicational or even productive reason 
13
Posts: 2313
Date: 24-02-2021 02:06
Anachronism
National Star



Anachronism wrote:
hutsu wrote:
BrainFilth wrote:
hutsu wrote:
i'm gonna empty my lockable sideboard from any of his things and start keeping my meds locked in there because he has stolen them before so


thanks for saying this, i'm still apparently giving him a lot more chances to walk over me than i thought i did. i'm really thankful for you guys talking to me and sharing your stories, it means a lot
Yeah if he wasn't using his own meds recreationally he wouldn't have run out.
it's some tweaker shit
i'm honestly so tired of defending him using meds in a pretty questionable manner, like i know that for real almost any meds don't work in low or even normal doses, he's type 1 diabetic and idk if that affects it or if it's something else but like  i've witnessed how his body reacts to a lots of meds and it's not 100% about him just wanting to have a good time but i can't say that he wasn't using this as an excuse for sometimes just taking amphetamines for no any medicational or even productive reason 
He sounds like an addict and I think you're enabling him even if you didnt mean to, it's great you're standing up for yourself here 
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 24-02-2021 02:07
Hutsu
National Star



hutsu wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
hutsu wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
I'm glad you're hanging in there. Stop letting him use your meds, lock them up cuz I dont put him stealing them past him, and let him do his thing til he leaves, definitely stay w/ ur mom for a few days if u need a break to rest 
i'm gonna empty my lockable sideboard from any of his things and start keeping my meds locked in there because he has stolen them before so


thanks for saying this, i'm still apparently giving him a lot more chances to walk over me than i thought i did. i'm really thankful for you guys talking to me and sharing your stories, it means a lot
Suspicions confirmed 

I know tweakers when I seem em and you do stupid desperate shit when ur fiending, I stole my sisters vyvanse and that's when I like... took a break and just smoked a lot of weed cuz what an awful thing to do 

Yeah if you ever need to talk pm me, I definitely let my cheating bf walk all over me at the time, you don't even realize when it happens 

Do you think you two had/have codependency issues 
we probably had/have the worst codependency issues i've personally ever witnessed and i'm not looking forward to being alone for the first time in 1,5 years. one of my back up plans is actually checking myself in the psych ward for the first days or weeks of living alone, we'll see how bad it is lol
13
Posts: 2313
Date: 24-02-2021 02:10
Private
World Famous



Barbarella wrote:
hutsu wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
hutsu wrote:
i'm gonna empty my lockable sideboard from any of his things and start keeping my meds locked in there because he has stolen them before so


thanks for saying this, i'm still apparently giving him a lot more chances to walk over me than i thought i did. i'm really thankful for you guys talking to me and sharing your stories, it means a lot
Suspicions confirmed 

I know tweakers when I seem em and you do stupid desperate shit when ur fiending, I stole my sisters vyvanse and that's when I like... took a break and just smoked a lot of weed cuz what an awful thing to do 

Yeah if you ever need to talk pm me, I definitely let my cheating bf walk all over me at the time, you don't even realize when it happens 

Do you think you two had/have codependency issues 
we probably had/have the worst codependency issues i've personally ever witnessed and i'm not looking forward to being alone for the first time in 1,5 years. one of my back up plans is actually checking myself in the psych ward for the first days or weeks of living alone, we'll see how bad it is lol
You may surprise yourself.
I remember when I kicked Sean out I felt very safe and at peace.
But my situation was different, it was my house.
20
Posts: 8725
Date: 24-02-2021 02:12
Hutsu
National Star



hutsu wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
hutsu wrote:
BrainFilth wrote:
Yeah if he wasn't using his own meds recreationally he wouldn't have run out.
it's some tweaker shit
i'm honestly so tired of defending him using meds in a pretty questionable manner, like i know that for real almost any meds don't work in low or even normal doses, he's type 1 diabetic and idk if that affects it or if it's something else but like  i've witnessed how his body reacts to a lots of meds and it's not 100% about him just wanting to have a good time but i can't say that he wasn't using this as an excuse for sometimes just taking amphetamines for no any medicational or even productive reason 
He sounds like an addict and I think you're enabling him even if you didnt mean to, it's great you're standing up for yourself here 
i've realised that this is the case for a few months. we've had huge fights about it whenever i could muster up enough courage to stand my ground and confront him for using my meds so that i needed to take breaks from taking them myself etc. i've thought about reporting him stealing my meds but like... he'll get his drugs from somewhere so what's the point, he isn't willing to get help and that's my #1 reason for wanting him out of my life 
13
Posts: 2313
Date: 24-02-2021 02:14
Hutsu
National Star



hutsu wrote:
BrainFilth wrote:
hutsu wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
Suspicions confirmed 

I know tweakers when I seem em and you do stupid desperate shit when ur fiending, I stole my sisters vyvanse and that's when I like... took a break and just smoked a lot of weed cuz what an awful thing to do 

Yeah if you ever need to talk pm me, I definitely let my cheating bf walk all over me at the time, you don't even realize when it happens 

Do you think you two had/have codependency issues 
we probably had/have the worst codependency issues i've personally ever witnessed and i'm not looking forward to being alone for the first time in 1,5 years. one of my back up plans is actually checking myself in the psych ward for the first days or weeks of living alone, we'll see how bad it is lol
You may surprise yourself.
I remember when I kicked Sean out I felt very safe and at peace.
But my situation was different, it was my house.
yeah i think it'd all probably be a lot less scary if breaking up didn't mean losing my home in the process. i get very attached to my living environment but i kinda hate this place for everything that's happened here so in a way i feel excited about moving, it's not a huge part of me but it's there 
13
Posts: 2313
Date: 24-02-2021 02:17
Private
World Famous



Barbarella wrote:
hutsu wrote:
BrainFilth wrote:
hutsu wrote:
we probably had/have the worst codependency issues i've personally ever witnessed and i'm not looking forward to being alone for the first time in 1,5 years. one of my back up plans is actually checking myself in the psych ward for the first days or weeks of living alone, we'll see how bad it is lol
You may surprise yourself.
I remember when I kicked Sean out I felt very safe and at peace.
But my situation was different, it was my house.
yeah i think it'd all probably be a lot less scary if breaking up didn't mean losing my home in the process. i get very attached to my living environment but i kinda hate this place for everything that's happened here so in a way i feel excited about moving, it's not a huge part of me but it's there 
Our lives get upheaved so many times before we die, its just a drop in the bucket, and it just gets easier every time. 
20
Posts: 8725
Date: 24-02-2021 02:19
Anachronism
National Star



Anachronism wrote:
BrainFilth wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
BrainFilth wrote:
fucking
loved
vyvanse
addies fucked up my kidneys

I'm so lucky I don't have whatever fucking gene causes you to get sucked into addiction bc I did some DUMB FUCKIN SHIT
I preferred addies they were more of a dirty buzzy high, vyvanse was more smooth, but you know if my sister gave me one oh yeah I'd take it 

I like stims a lil too much had to give them a rest, hear u on doing stupid shit, lmfao, have to steer clear of stim lovers cuz I just have trouble saying no 
I used to snort addies and do puzzles on the floor and it fucked my back up.
one time I got some L that was definitely cut with meth or something similar and I did lunges for like 8 hours and fucked up my hip forever.
I can't do things that alter my ability to read my body
I never snorted adderall because the high isnt as long and i didn't want to fuck up my tolerance, definitely snorted my fair share of dope for a few months tho lol 

Oh yeah your body signals get altered when you're tweaking balls for sure, its not healthy long term 

Stimulants have legitimate medical and study purposes but I do not reccomend stimulant abuse at all lol, even just right now I can feel my brain glowing up thinking about them and I haven't used since January 

Anyway op I have to go but good luck hopefully can respond tomorrow 
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 24-02-2021 02:20 | Times changed: 1
Hutsu
National Star



hutsu wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
BrainFilth wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
I preferred addies they were more of a dirty buzzy high, vyvanse was more smooth, but you know if my sister gave me one oh yeah I'd take it 

I like stims a lil too much had to give them a rest, hear u on doing stupid shit, lmfao, have to steer clear of stim lovers cuz I just have trouble saying no 
I used to snort addies and do puzzles on the floor and it fucked my back up.
one time I got some L that was definitely cut with meth or something similar and I did lunges for like 8 hours and fucked up my hip forever.
I can't do things that alter my ability to read my body
I never snorted adderall because the high isnt as long and i didn't want to fuck up my tolerance, definitely snorted my fair share of dope for a few months tho lol 

Oh yeah your body signals get altered when you're tweaking balls for sure, its not healthy long term 

Stimulants have legitimate medical and study purposes but I do not reccomend stimulant abuse at all lol, even just right now I can feel my brain glowing up thinking about them and I haven't used since January 

Anyway op I have to go but good luck hopefully can respond tomorrow 
i'm just skipping over the first part lmao
it was really nice talking to you!! i wish you have a good day or night or whatever the time is where you are!! <3
13
Posts: 2313
Date: 24-02-2021 02:25
Anachronism
National Star



Anachronism wrote:
hutsu wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
BrainFilth wrote:
I used to snort addies and do puzzles on the floor and it fucked my back up.
one time I got some L that was definitely cut with meth or something similar and I did lunges for like 8 hours and fucked up my hip forever.
I can't do things that alter my ability to read my body
I never snorted adderall because the high isnt as long and i didn't want to fuck up my tolerance, definitely snorted my fair share of dope for a few months tho lol 

Oh yeah your body signals get altered when you're tweaking balls for sure, its not healthy long term 

Stimulants have legitimate medical and study purposes but I do not reccomend stimulant abuse at all lol, even just right now I can feel my brain glowing up thinking about them and I haven't used since January 

Anyway op I have to go but good luck hopefully can respond tomorrow 
i'm just skipping over the first part lmao
it was really nice talking to you!! i wish you have a good day or night or whatever the time is where you are!! <3
Sorry I shouldn't be hijacking your thread w/ my past tweaker shit lol 

You too! Getting food w/ a friend, will try to be useful 2morrow after work
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 24-02-2021 02:31
Hutsu
National Star



hutsu wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
hutsu wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
I never snorted adderall because the high isnt as long and i didn't want to fuck up my tolerance, definitely snorted my fair share of dope for a few months tho lol 

Oh yeah your body signals get altered when you're tweaking balls for sure, its not healthy long term 

Stimulants have legitimate medical and study purposes but I do not reccomend stimulant abuse at all lol, even just right now I can feel my brain glowing up thinking about them and I haven't used since January 

Anyway op I have to go but good luck hopefully can respond tomorrow 
i'm just skipping over the first part lmao
it was really nice talking to you!! i wish you have a good day or night or whatever the time is where you are!! <3
Sorry I shouldn't be hijacking your thread w/ my past tweaker shit lol 

You too! Getting food w/ a friend, will try to be useful 2morrow after work
it's all cool my man, if i was in a different mood i would've participated in that sidetrail of the conversation too lol. anyway that sounds like fun, have a good time xoxo
13
Posts: 2313
Date: 24-02-2021 02:37
Private
National Star



GvcciGoddess wrote:
I truly feel for u girl and im so proud of u for standing up for urself and that ur seemingly in the process of getting out of this abusive relationship. Stay strong and dont cave into him, dont let him manipulate u into staying with him. Actions speak louder than words and his actions are clearly shit. Move out of there as soon as possible and then surround urself with friends and family for emotional support so that u dont end up going back to him no matter how hard it is to stay away. Always know ur worth, u will get thru this
18
Posts: 5877
Date: 24-02-2021 08:40
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