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breaking up
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
my mind keeps going back and forth
like, i've thought about breaking up for MONTHS. i haven't been very sure about it the entire time, but i think i am now. but it's still fucked up bc as i said, my mind is all over the place. i'm just thinking like "what if i actually don't want to break up", "he's such a cool and sweet person tho" etc but if i don't break up i'm gonna keep having these thoughts about breaking up. and feeling like i don't want to be with him. you know?

i just need to get it done. and try to not hurt him TOO much while still being honest. i know i will hurt him, there's no way around that. things are gonna be hard for a while, it's gonna be shitty, but i will just have to live through it. power through it. it's gonna be ok one day
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 06-09-2021 11:19
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
and this time i will actually "use" the people around me for support. i didn't do that last time i broke up with him. i told 2 of my friends (and vp) and talked to one of them on facetime like all day all night and just cried. but this time i think i'll tell my coworkers and my family so they can provide support. i have this next weekend off from work so i'll go to my mom, maybe even spend the night there idk. gonna go to my dad as well, and my sister
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 06-09-2021 11:23
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
"if you want to break up just say it. we can talk anyways but i don't want to go around wondering. there's no use waiting to say it. i'm in school so i can't meet up until later today"

i don't wanna break up over text tho but i guess i'll just have to say yes. which is breaking up over text. but he asked so ???? wtf oiestgdklhjfdgc
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 06-09-2021 11:27
Private
World Famous



Versailles wrote:
cobain wrote:
"if you want to break up just say it. we can talk anyways but i don't want to go around wondering. there's no use waiting to say it. i'm in school so i can't meet up until later today"

i don't wanna break up over text tho but i guess i'll just have to say yes. which is breaking up over text. but he asked so ???? wtf oiestgdklhjfdgc
it's not your fault if it ends up over text, he set up for you either break up over text or lie. Be honest and when you meet up yall can talk/give stuff back etc
20
Posts: 6859
Date: 06-09-2021 11:32
Private
Popstar



rottomilko wrote:
cobain wrote:
"if you want to break up just say it. we can talk anyways but i don't want to go around wondering. there's no use waiting to say it. i'm in school so i can't meet up until later today"

i don't wanna break up over text tho but i guess i'll just have to say yes. which is breaking up over text. but he asked so ???? wtf oiestgdklhjfdgc
i mean, he asked. it's his fault it's over text then. 
that's ur plan right? be honest. 
21
Posts: 31978
Date: 06-09-2021 11:36
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
he sent another text not even 10 mins after and said like "do you want to break up, yes or no? please, just answer! i'm having troubles concentrating right now"

so now i answered "yes.... i'm sorry. this sucks, i didn't want to take this over text because it feels like shit but i can't sit here and lie to you. i know you're in school and i don't want to ruin the rest of your day, but i know i'm doing that now. we can talk more later when you're at home"

fml
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 06-09-2021 11:40
Private
World Famous



Versailles wrote:
cobain wrote:
he sent another text not even 10 mins after and said like "do you want to break up, yes or no? please, just answer! i'm having troubles concentrating right now"

so now i answered "yes.... i'm sorry. this sucks, i didn't want to take this over text because it feels like shit but i can't sit here and lie to you. i know you're in school and i don't want to ruin the rest of your day, but i know i'm doing that now. we can talk more later when you're at home"

fml
I think you handled it well. This is the hardest part, and the rest will get easier hopefully! 
Yeah he had anxiety up the roof and wanted to know there and now, it wouldn't get better with time so it's not your fault it was explained a bit over text. If I were him i'd also want to know there and now - wouldn't blame or care you told the truth if i was pushing for answers
20
Posts: 6859
Date: 06-09-2021 11:45
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
Versailles wrote:
cobain wrote:
he sent another text not even 10 mins after and said like "do you want to break up, yes or no? please, just answer! i'm having troubles concentrating right now"

so now i answered "yes.... i'm sorry. this sucks, i didn't want to take this over text because it feels like shit but i can't sit here and lie to you. i know you're in school and i don't want to ruin the rest of your day, but i know i'm doing that now. we can talk more later when you're at home"

fml
I think you handled it well. This is the hardest part, and the rest will get easier hopefully! 
Yeah he had anxiety up the roof and wanted to know there and now, it wouldn't get better with time so it's not your fault it was explained a bit over text. If I were him i'd also want to know there and now - wouldn't blame or care you told the truth if i was pushing for answers
i've cried a lot this morning but strangely enough i stopped once i sent that text
but i'll probably burst out in tears if he replies. and i'm probably gonna cry a lot later when (or if??) we meet up. i feel like ass, but no tears at least
i hope he's ok
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 06-09-2021 11:53
Private
International Star



meilin wrote:
cobain wrote:
he sent another text not even 10 mins after and said like "do you want to break up, yes or no? please, just answer! i'm having troubles concentrating right now"

so now i answered "yes.... i'm sorry. this sucks, i didn't want to take this over text because it feels like shit but i can't sit here and lie to you. i know you're in school and i don't want to ruin the rest of your day, but i know i'm doing that now. we can talk more later when you're at home"

fml
i'm so proud of you!! ik it's hard but i'm proud of you taking this step. i'm sure everything will feel a lot better when this is over
18
Posts: 13387
Date: 06-09-2021 12:12
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
please remind me that there's always gonna be things you miss but that it doesn't mean that this was the wrong decision. i just started crying again lol bc i opened messenger and our convo was like on the "front page" with that preview of what was last sent. i'd sent him "you're always the most important thing" and then i started thinking about him and like what great times we've actually had, you know?

we've had lots of fun together, he's a really good person, a really FUNNY person and makes me laugh like crazy. last weekend we were in his cabin and even tho we had a great time i kept thinking about breaking up n stuff. so i know this is the right decision but it just sucks because i'm gonna miss him and all the good shit
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 06-09-2021 12:17
Private
International Star



meilin wrote:
cobain wrote:
please remind me that there's always gonna be things you miss but that it doesn't mean that this was the wrong decision. i just started crying again lol bc i opened messenger and our convo was like on the "front page" with that preview of what was last sent. i'd sent him "you're always the most important thing" and then i started thinking about him and like what great times we've actually had, you know?

we've had lots of fun together, he's a really good person, a really FUNNY person and makes me laugh like crazy. last weekend we were in his cabin and even tho we had a great time i kept thinking about breaking up n stuff. so i know this is the right decision but it just sucks because i'm gonna miss him and all the good shit
you can most certainly have GREAT times w someone and love them from the bottom of your heart even though the relationship wasn't meant to be forever. sometimes your goals, daily routines, personalities etc just don't match long-term and that's it. you're not obligated to stay with a person just because he's not a terrible abuser. you know what's best for you, so hold the happy memories in your heart but don't let them control you.

i was thinking of this quote a lot when i broke up w my ex who i loved very much:

"just because it wasn't forever, doesn't mean it wasn't magic. i want to challenge us to hold sweetness as sacred and not let our desire for forever to erase the beauty of what it was or is"
18
Posts: 13387
Date: 06-09-2021 12:28
Cobain
International Star



cobain wrote:
Sera wrote:
cobain wrote:
please remind me that there's always gonna be things you miss but that it doesn't mean that this was the wrong decision. i just started crying again lol bc i opened messenger and our convo was like on the "front page" with that preview of what was last sent. i'd sent him "you're always the most important thing" and then i started thinking about him and like what great times we've actually had, you know?

we've had lots of fun together, he's a really good person, a really FUNNY person and makes me laugh like crazy. last weekend we were in his cabin and even tho we had a great time i kept thinking about breaking up n stuff. so i know this is the right decision but it just sucks because i'm gonna miss him and all the good shit
you can most certainly have GREAT times w someone and love them from the bottom of your heart even though the relationship wasn't meant to be forever. sometimes your goals, daily routines, personalities etc just don't match long-term and that's it. you're not obligated to stay with a person just because he's not a terrible abuser. you know what's best for you, so hold the happy memories in your heart but don't let them control you.

i was thinking of this quote a lot when i broke up w my ex who i loved very much:

"just because it wasn't forever, doesn't mean it wasn't magic. i want to challenge us to hold sweetness as sacred and not let our desire for forever to erase the beauty of what it was or is"
thank you for this. you're the best, always being so supportive and you know exactly what to say
ily ♡♡♡♡♡
19
Posts: 10232
Date: 06-09-2021 12:47
Private
International Star



Lolinontot wrote:
That man is very full of red flags with the whole "you're my only chance/hope to have kids" and "you ignored me for a bit because you were busy so now I am gonna be all depressed and try to guilt trip you to feel bad for ignoring me because I am so sad" Type ordeals.
This man doesn't want a woman because he wants her as a person, He wants a woman because he thinks he needs a woman. Because he's thinking that he's getting to that age where he's unloveable and old (which is not true - women tend to prefer older men - he has chances as long as he's a good man) so he's unintentionally (meaning not really on malicious purpose, cause he's probably acting on emotional impulse conditioned to him by friends having their own families and society's agenda against older people than anything else) trying to cling onto you in hopes that you'll stay with him even if your relationship is falling apart. It is not a good relationship for neither of you and he knows that, deep down he knows, but his coping through all this time has been denial. And I think your way of breaking up and then getting back together when he questions you, is just giving him false hopes and is also -in a way- enabling this whole "feel bad for me" thing to affect you.
Also it is a bit childish of him to act like that to be honest - It is like removing a lolipop from a child and the child throws a sad tantrum to get the lolipop back. 

Sometimes there just is nothing that anyone can do to "fix" a relationship, and that is okay.
You both need to take care of yourselves. Yes it will hurt for a time, but that hurt will also go away with time. All to do now is stick to your word. If you break up with him, do not return because you're feeling guilty or because he's making you feel guilty, stand your ground and don't start the cycle over.
You'll both move on eventually.

Here have a poem I made
"Such is the rollercoaster that is life;
Happiness comes and goes, remeber the good times and remember the lows.
Keep the good close to your heart and remember the bad as reasons to move forward to a new start.
Just make sure to, every once in a while, to take a breath and to look up at the sky and say "what a wonderfull day to be alive"
16
Posts: 425
Date: 06-09-2021 13:51
Private
World Famous



Barbarella wrote:
man I love a good breakup
we grow far more from them than from the relationships lol

anyways I have no advice for how to dump other than to rip off the band aid, there's no good way to do it where no one gets hurt.
20
Posts: 8725
Date: 06-09-2021 16:48
Account deleted




wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
man I love a good breakup
we grow far more from them than from the relationships lol

anyways I have no advice for how to dump other than to rip off the band aid, there's no good way to do it where no one gets hurt.
I prefer to be single to not deal with breakups Than again I'm in the middle of breaking up with somebody 
Date: 06-09-2021 16:50
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