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question regarding emotions
Private
World Famous



misjel wrote:
lovelin wrote:
XxMiSSswagdripxX wrote:
lovelin wrote:
Chronically online!! u always see me typing before i’ve even sent the message!! cx
coincidence i swear
Okay😭👍
20
Posts: 52343
Date: 09-10-2022 00:59
Private
Popstar



Rouya wrote:
XxMiSSswagdripxX wrote:
Rouya wrote:
XxMiSSswagdripxX wrote:
Yeup i will have some guesses for what has caused those feeling, and usually it’s something along the lines of hm i haven’t been outside for the entire day and i haven’t gotten any variety etc etc in what i’ve been doing. Bad feeling bad feeling need to cut it off by actions, i don’t think too much about the feeling itself. Think i usually connect negative emotions to my physical state and positive ones are just there, maybe when i’ve done smth i’m proud of etc etc

Usually if i remember something embarrassing i’ll just think abt it for 10 seconds, think abt if it was fine, and then not dwell on it. Doesn’t work for everyone tho🥹
does the connection to the physical come naturally in the moment you experience the negative emotion, or is it something you have to rationalize towards?
I don’t know, it’s probably me rationalizing but also the thing that is the most natural thing for me to do so it comes in the moment🤔
i think it's a very good reaction to have though, to instantly connect what you're feeling with your body and the experiences you are having and/or lacking physically

definitely something i need to practise getting better at
22
Posts: 9162
Date: 09-10-2022 01:00 | Times changed: 1
Private
World Famous



misjel wrote:
Rouya wrote:
XxMiSSswagdripxX wrote:
Rouya wrote:
does the connection to the physical come naturally in the moment you experience the negative emotion, or is it something you have to rationalize towards?
I don’t know, it’s probably me rationalizing but also the thing that is the most natural thing for me to do so it comes in the moment🤔
i think it's a very good reaction to have though, to instantly connect what you're feeling with your body and the experiences you are having and/or lacking physically

definitely something i need to practise getting better at
Everything in moderation everything lagom, u can practice rationalizing a bit and i’ll practice some more feely feel😎👍
20
Posts: 52343
Date: 09-10-2022 01:02
Private
Popstar



Rouya wrote:
XxMiSSswagdripxX wrote:
Rouya wrote:
XxMiSSswagdripxX wrote:
I don’t know, it’s probably me rationalizing but also the thing that is the most natural thing for me to do so it comes in the moment🤔
i think it's a very good reaction to have though, to instantly connect what you're feeling with your body and the experiences you are having and/or lacking physically

definitely something i need to practise getting better at
Everything in moderation everything lagom, u can practice rationalizing a bit and i’ll practice some more feely feel😎👍
well i already rationalise/analyse everything, but i will continue to do so 👍
good for everyone to practise getting in touch with their feelings i think, though. it is a skill to learn, much like most things in life! some are just naturally better at that skill than others, and that's what i was curious about
22
Posts: 9162
Date: 09-10-2022 01:11
Account deleted




wrote:
Rouya wrote:
Eostre wrote:
I am slow at this, so it normally requires some introspection even though there are more frequent experiences of it in my case. eg. how you can go from having the ugliest fight with someone you love to falling back into a normal pattern like it didn't happen. What came up during the fight are unmet needs\expectations, but they keep falling back to a root where we both value and love each other. It's also there during a fight even if it's not the emotion we are mainly experiencing bodily at that time.

on the different hand, and a more recent example, it took me much more time to find the root of why I didn't like one of my family members, but I also think that had something to do with that I needed space to be able to see the event more clearly and pinpoint exactly what needs or expectations of mine were not met at that time and how those were needs I expected x person to help me fulfill that they were unable to do, and thus I felt abandoned, lonely, sad, angry, betrayed, unsupported. I still loved them, and I hated myself for saying bad things about them because you "should not" say such things about someone you love, and grieved that they were not the person I thought they were.  \\ Some I knew right away as I experienced them over the period of time: I knew I was sad they had changed, angry at them for their behavior towards me, betrayed for not prioritizing me\abondoning me, lonely since they were one of my main people and they did not give me much at all but angry remarks. Surprised because it all happened so unexpectedly, against all promises I'd been given and all my expectations of that person.  but to fully pinpoint that they could not be the stable parental figure for me at a time in my life at a time when I needed and expected them to be that, was something that came much later. it sorta pulled a lot of it together into something more digestible for my brain.

idk if this absolutely overshare post answered anything
this was a very good answer and very close to what i was looking to ask precisely, thank you!

im a bit tired rn, so im struggling a little with articulating myself, but the last part of your response is exactly what i was trying to ask about - that you felt and were able to identify these emotions in the moments as you experienced them

this might be a big ask, but can you try to describe how it is you experience the emotions and are able to identify them in the moment you experience them? if the awareness of the emotions doesn't come from reflecting upon and analysing them and then being able to identify and be conscious of the emotions, then how do you experience and identify the emotions?
I think it's easy to pick up on base emotions like sadness, anger, shame, anxiousness, and happiness, but to pinpoint them closer to a cause of what you're r feeling like sadness becoming hurt or guilt is something that can take more time.

At least for myself, I often need to have finished the experience to be able to think about it - it's hard to process an event that is still going on. A lot of the time, you really can't do that much at all, but it really depends on the scale of the event.
With experience, you're more likely to have processed earlier events at a time and thus use them as a tool to identify ongoing experiences, fx. if something is happening in a pattern and repeating itself, then you sorta already know. You don't feel so lost on what you're feeling anymore or so surprised by it. But yeah, some are just clear for me, like if someone I value the opinion of starts belittling me then I feel ashamed, vulnerable, disappointed in myself, etc. Sometimes you just pick it up one of the feelings, like only picking up on your experience of shame for them not liking x thing about you. and then as it maybe lingers, you might realize the complexity of the situation and how it played into being a more complex experience of emotions than you first thought. It sorta needs some critical thinking skills to realize the factors in an event that came into play, eg. power dynamics. 
Date: 09-10-2022 01:21
Private
Princess of Pop



Arthema wrote:
when it comes to others I'm a pro
when it comes to me I'm just like... heh? what is emotion?
17
Posts: 39197
Date: 09-10-2022 01:46
MissLondon
World Famous



MissLondon wrote:
Yes, but it also depends 
on what made me feel that way too.
If it’s something serious
I like to ask questions 
so I’m not mistaken and assume
the wrong thing while I’m 
in my feels
20
Posts: 28071
Date: 09-10-2022 02:58
Private
World Famous



Barbarella wrote:
I usually need a ton of time to feel anything

but if the situation is familiar it happens faster 
20
Posts: 8725
Date: 09-10-2022 03:15
Account deleted




wrote:
i do i think, not always tho.. sometimes it can pretty fucking hard and i don't know what's going on because of too many emotions.. my ocd makes it difficult because i overthink it and often i get stuck on feeling a certain feeling

some feelings are impossible to describe, feels like hell
Date: 09-10-2022 08:44
Thecellabration
World Famous



thecellabration wrote:
i have no idea lol

i think i can't really identify complex long-term emotions at all, but i can act relatively impulsively on anger or when i'm upset in some other way when it has an outside cause or whatever and be able to understand that i'm feeling angry or upset. and then when it passes and i think back on it i feel like i overreacted and it wasn't real etc hsdjkg. but that rly depends on why i feel that way too
20
Posts: 4737
Date: 09-10-2022 10:01
Private
Minister of Pop



Azriel wrote:
I'm able to tell how I feel in the moment ? Or is that not the question
20
Posts: 38884
Date: 09-10-2022 11:59
Private
Popstar



Rouya wrote:
Azriel wrote:
I'm able to tell how I feel in the moment ? Or is that not the question
yes that is the question
22
Posts: 9162
Date: 09-10-2022 12:09
Private
Popstar



Rouya wrote:
Abby wrote:
when it comes to others I'm a pro
when it comes to me I'm just like... heh? what is emotion?
easier to have the full grasp of things from a distance than when youre smack dab in the middle of it
22
Posts: 9162
Date: 09-10-2022 12:12
Private
International Star



uhyre wrote:
i know immediately what and why im feeling it, its not very helpful
17
Posts: 28887
Date: 09-10-2022 12:49
Private
World Famous



Evey wrote:
yes, probably.

the only thing i can imagine where i am not recognizing which feeling it is in that moment would be if i'm very mad, but the actual feeling would be like, for example, that i feel like a bad person because i can see something bad in me being portraied in someone else kinda
but the active, on the surface feeling is still anger and i know that much aha
17
Posts: 8503
Date: 09-10-2022 13:01
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