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Abby wrote:
Okay I DID manage to read it after all

I was in a very similar spot actually in my high school years, I was genuinely the person who wanted to stay civil with as many ppl as I could so they won't bug me or be shit with me, but as time went by and I learned how shit most of the people around me were, it affected me so badly I was actually all high and diplomatic for my own gain, and used my femininity and brain to get what I wanted when I wanted it.

but the last 2 years of high school I learned that this shit will come back and bite me in the ass, SO hard I won't know how to deal with it, because the same was happening at that time, so as you're doing now, I tried learning wtf was going on with me, do I actually regret shit or I just know it's the right thing to do?
in the last year, I managed to understand some stuff and realized I do want to be civil with people like my exes, or friends that were on the verge of falling out because I WAS friends with them and I valued them a lot so I did want to try and salvage what there was left, but it was dumb of me as I pretty much made them used to that version of me and that's what they expected, so I had to cut all ties and just... keep going?

after a while I just learned to use this... idk I guess you can call it skill? in places where it actually matters and might help, so like job interviews, uni-related shit... but in addition to that, we all have interests, so it's important to not bash yourself over wanting something or having people by you, it's natural and very human, nothing wrong with it, you just need to learn to respect them and well, understand that they have wants and needs as well, so if you take, you need to give back.

in addition, realizing that sometimes you just can't salvage stuff, people, relationships... just can't.
sorry won't cut it, favors won't as well, gifts and affection won't cut the bill, they all might make em stay a bit longer but if it doesn't work, it just doesn't.
all you CAN do is I guess... respect them from afar? lmao

but yeah that is what I have to answer to that and what my brain is capable atm of writing  eehhh I need a salad or a snack rn