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I'm confused
Cult
Youtube Star



cult wrote:
kruspersille wrote:
i would feel different abt it if he was the one who said to cook, but he wasnt (?)
i was slightly intoxicated but i believe he said we could do smth next week and we had kind of an inside joke abt making a certain food so he was like probably half joking and was like you're making that 4 me right 
and i was like but fr fr we can do that that would be funny 

so  idk
16
Posts: 10077
Date: 01-05-2021 15:49
Cult
Youtube Star



cult wrote:
Nesta wrote:
i think u r overthinking it tbh
i probably am
16
Posts: 10077
Date: 01-05-2021 15:49
Private
Living Legend



Maxwell wrote:
cult wrote:
Maxwell wrote:
cult wrote:
i think the only thing that bothers me is the pettiness of a few bucks but ig it's like y'all be saying at least he be trying to participate 
Him wantin to pay a few bucks instead of nothin is, petty ?
No him making a point to pay the least like even if we would've been splitting feels petty 
I still dont get it 😭
17
Posts: 33756
Date: 01-05-2021 15:50
Hutsu
National Star



hutsu wrote:
cult wrote:
Maxwell wrote:
cult wrote:
i think the only thing that bothers me is the pettiness of a few bucks but ig it's like y'all be saying at least he be trying to participate 
Him wantin to pay a few bucks instead of nothin is, petty ?
No him making a point to pay the least like even if we would've been splitting feels petty 
i think it'd be petty IF he hadn't mentioned that he's low on cash at the moment, but now it's just him being straight up with u and i personally appreciate that quality in people in general. it seems like you're stuck in the thought that he'd be unwilling to pay the 3$ difference, and that'd be weird for me too if it wasn't explained by his financial situation. it's not petty to not have money.
13
Posts: 2313
Date: 01-05-2021 15:50
Private
International Star



wug wrote:
Maxwell wrote:
cult wrote:
Maxwell wrote:
Him wantin to pay a few bucks instead of nothin is, petty ?
No him making a point to pay the least like even if we would've been splitting feels petty 
I still dont get it 😭
tbh same 
19
Posts: 108104
Date: 01-05-2021 15:50
Hutsu
National Star



hutsu wrote:
but like if he's making a lot of jokes about you offering things for him, cooking for him etc and like almost making a case that you'd buy and do things for and not with him i'd be slightly alarmed too
13
Posts: 2313
Date: 01-05-2021 15:53
Private
Minister of Pop



Heartbroken wrote:
ouch wrote:
I don't even get the issue 
20
Posts: 40609
Date: 01-05-2021 15:54
Account deleted




wrote:
If I understand this correctly:
1 - you're going to have a cook-off???? a duel?? i dunno, at least u r gonna cook something
2 - you only need 2 ingredients. one is a bit more expensive than the other.
3 - he asked to buy for the cheapest one, and THAT'S what's annoying you?
4 - and you're paying for both anyways bc you didn't expect him to really pay for any of them in the first place?

so you're literally annoyed at him because he may not have the same economical privilege as you? he's literally coming home this week, which is probably not free or cheap. travel is expensive. housing is expensive and differ between where you rent\live. and he asked to pay for something instead of not paying at all when he's low on money? asking for the cheapest one is not pettiness, it's realistic if that's all you can afford. like you don't spend money on the same things at the same time and have the exact same amount at the same time, like...  i would not like to be your friend if this is how you react to people who cannot be as "generous" as yourself when it suits you. like i get it being "annoying" for a sec or two but u r better than this, b\c i'm sure this is exactly what pettiness is. 

yes, you're overreacting.
people are not petty for being poor or low on cash even if you started out w the same amount bc different people require and spend money differently based on their individual needs.
Date: 01-05-2021 15:56 | Times changed: 1
Private
Minister of Pop



Heartbroken wrote:
Delusion1111111 wrote:
my reasoning for finding it off putting is just that if this is a man who is interested in me then that man should b trying to impress me loooool and this kind of behaviour is not that at all. like if u cant even willingly spend literally a few PENNIES on me when ur trying to get to know me n ur trying to get to know me as cheaply as possible while being vocal abt that ? weird and not my kind of person personally
bruh what lmao
20
Posts: 40609
Date: 01-05-2021 15:58
Cult
Youtube Star



cult wrote:
hutsu wrote:
but like if he's making a lot of jokes about you offering things for him, cooking for him etc and like almost making a case that you'd buy and do things for and not with him i'd be slightly alarmed too
that's kind of also the thing he's been making those kind of jokes ig ,,, ,, like the other day i recommended like marshmallow spread to him and he was like venmo me and i'll try it" and i wanted to see how far he'd take it so i was like "ya 100% i'll do it" to see if he'd send me his actual venmo

he didn't though so he was probably joking but it's the small stuff he does y'know??? 
16
Posts: 10077
Date: 01-05-2021 15:59
Hutsu
National Star



hutsu wrote:
cult wrote:
hutsu wrote:
but like if he's making a lot of jokes about you offering things for him, cooking for him etc and like almost making a case that you'd buy and do things for and not with him i'd be slightly alarmed too
that's kind of also the thing he's been making those kind of jokes ig ,,, ,, like the other day i recommended like marshmallow spread to him and he was like venmo me and i'll try it" and i wanted to see how far he'd take it so i was like "ya 100% i'll do it" to see if he'd send me his actual venmo

he didn't though so he was probably joking but it's the small stuff he does y'know??? 
i thought there's probably something like that going on because the original source of you being annoyed, the 3$, doesn't really seem like something most people would probably think twice about if it was the only thing bothering them about someone's attitude towards money. it'd probably give me slightly weird vibes too.

i think nesta made a well articulated point about your individual financial situations, and sometimes it's difficult for people to understand why others can't seem to get by with the same amount of money for sure but i assume that you get all of that and this is more about him not 100% treating you as an equal (as in he thinks you have disposable income to spend on him, even jokingly but it can build up kinda). am i getting it right??
13
Posts: 2313
Date: 01-05-2021 16:11
Cult
Youtube Star



cult wrote:
hutsu wrote:
cult wrote:
hutsu wrote:
but like if he's making a lot of jokes about you offering things for him, cooking for him etc and like almost making a case that you'd buy and do things for and not with him i'd be slightly alarmed too
that's kind of also the thing he's been making those kind of jokes ig ,,, ,, like the other day i recommended like marshmallow spread to him and he was like venmo me and i'll try it" and i wanted to see how far he'd take it so i was like "ya 100% i'll do it" to see if he'd send me his actual venmo

he didn't though so he was probably joking but it's the small stuff he does y'know??? 
i thought there's probably something like that going on because the original source of you being annoyed, the 3$, doesn't really seem like something most people would probably think twice about if it was the only thing bothering them about someone's attitude towards money. it'd probably give me slightly weird vibes too.

i think nesta made a well articulated point about your individual financial situations, and sometimes it's difficult for people to understand why others can't seem to get by with the same amount of money for sure but i assume that you get all of that and this is more about him not 100% treating you as an equal (as in he thinks you have disposable income to spend on him, even jokingly but it can build up kinda). am i getting it right??
yes thank you this is exactly what is bothering me thank you for putting it into words. it's all building up really
16
Posts: 10077
Date: 01-05-2021 16:16
Private
Popstar



ouch wrote:
Nesta wrote:
If I understand this correctly:
1 - you're going to have a cook-off???? a duel?? i dunno, at least u r gonna cook something
2 - you only need 2 ingredients. one is a bit more expensive than the other.
3 - he asked to buy for the cheapest one, and THAT'S what's annoying you?
4 - and you're paying for both anyways bc you didn't expect him to really pay for any of them in the first place?

so you're literally annoyed at him because he may not have the same economical privilege as you? he's literally coming home this week, which is probably not free or cheap. travel is expensive. housing is expensive and differ between where you rent\live. and he asked to pay for something instead of not paying at all when he's low on money? asking for the cheapest one is not pettiness, it's realistic if that's all you can afford. like you don't spend money on the same things at the same time and have the exact same amount at the same time, like...  i would not like to be your friend if this is how you react to people who cannot be as "generous" as yourself when it suits you. like i get it being "annoying" for a sec or two but u r better than this, b\c i'm sure this is exactly what pettiness is. 

yes, you're overreacting.
people are not petty for being poor or low on cash even if you started out w the same amount bc different people require and spend money differently based on their individual needs.
Nesta going off

16
Posts: 95663
Date: 01-05-2021 16:20
Private
Popstar



ouch wrote:
cult wrote:
hutsu wrote:
but like if he's making a lot of jokes about you offering things for him, cooking for him etc and like almost making a case that you'd buy and do things for and not with him i'd be slightly alarmed too
that's kind of also the thing he's been making those kind of jokes ig ,,, ,, like the other day i recommended like marshmallow spread to him and he was like venmo me and i'll try it" and i wanted to see how far he'd take it so i was like "ya 100% i'll do it" to see if he'd send me his actual venmo

he didn't though so he was probably joking but it's the small stuff he does y'know??? 
Lol me tho why would I spend money on smth when someone else is wanting me to try it n not me smh 
16
Posts: 95663
Date: 01-05-2021 16:21
Hutsu
National Star



hutsu wrote:
cult wrote:
hutsu wrote:
cult wrote:
that's kind of also the thing he's been making those kind of jokes ig ,,, ,, like the other day i recommended like marshmallow spread to him and he was like venmo me and i'll try it" and i wanted to see how far he'd take it so i was like "ya 100% i'll do it" to see if he'd send me his actual venmo

he didn't though so he was probably joking but it's the small stuff he does y'know??? 
i thought there's probably something like that going on because the original source of you being annoyed, the 3$, doesn't really seem like something most people would probably think twice about if it was the only thing bothering them about someone's attitude towards money. it'd probably give me slightly weird vibes too.

i think nesta made a well articulated point about your individual financial situations, and sometimes it's difficult for people to understand why others can't seem to get by with the same amount of money for sure but i assume that you get all of that and this is more about him not 100% treating you as an equal (as in he thinks you have disposable income to spend on him, even jokingly but it can build up kinda). am i getting it right??
yes thank you this is exactly what is bothering me thank you for putting it into words. it's all building up really
it might still be like you kinda misinterpreted something at first and then saw the later comments through the lenses of someone slightly suspicious about his intentions with those comments, so he might still be a Good Guy™ but idk keep ur eyes peeled at least if it's not bothering u enough to bring it up with him before meeting him. my point: trust ur gut, if you actually feel like something is off don't second guess it, move on
13
Posts: 2313
Date: 01-05-2021 16:23
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