turn your life around. - Forum

Private
Youtube Star

devilcake wrote:

hmm wrote:

devilcake wrote:

hmm wrote:
both i suppose

Moving out was one ig that I had no actually choice in cos my mom was gonna move in with her boyfriend

ig deciding to come out from my og list was more of a mental no choice thing but like it wasn’t intended as a life turning point it was just a consequence of having to do it

a consequence of having to do it.... im Stupid im so Sorry i dont understand, consequence to what..... OHHH you mean transitioning? omg

Bejxlgp yes grammar became confusing there…. But yes like basically like turning points for me is just like I do something or have to do something etc then in hindsight I will see it turned my life around but when doin it I’m not thinking about it in that way

Hmm
National Star

hmm wrote:

Dwaal wrote:

hmm wrote:

Dwaal wrote:
yea makes sense... but by you thinking about it you must have some sort of idea of where you wanna "end up" even if you can't find the motivation for it ?

x

hmhmhmmm this seems rough? Maybe start with small brakes doing something like taking a walk or something? Maybe that'll make it feel less troublesome rather than just sitting at home???? Idk

Idk how to take a break from online... I'm cronically online? I mean I don't really do much other than watch the news, study and vp so yea I'm no fun....

i could do that but then i go home and stay online for like 8 hours and it is Horrid. i feel like the solution might be to try to add more to my life rather than eliminate being online then not really knowing what to do.. i dunno. again i feel like i only truly lock in when i have some core motivation.. and i'm not feeling spiteful right now so ..! also i for some reason don't get super inspired by other people either idk what's wrong w me omg.

aw it's okay i've always been chronically online too but it wasn't until the past 2 years that i've felt like it was taking a toll on me because i've become more active online i guess, back then it was just contained inside vp and if i wasn't on vp i had real life to care about yes. i miss when it was like that, i hope to get back to that even if vp is essentially dead, which is lowkey better for my case anyway djhdueyhe

Hmm
National Star

hmm wrote:

devilcake wrote:

hmm wrote:

devilcake wrote:
Moving out was one ig that I had no actually choice in cos my mom was gonna move in with her boyfriend

ig deciding to come out from my og list was more of a mental no choice thing but like it wasn’t intended as a life turning point it was just a consequence of having to do it

a consequence of having to do it.... im Stupid im so Sorry i dont understand, consequence to what..... OHHH you mean transitioning? omg

Bejxlgp yes grammar became confusing there…. But yes like basically like turning points for me is just like I do something or have to do something etc then in hindsight I will see it turned my life around but when doin it I’m not thinking about it in that way

so you just think of it in hindsight okay.. i try to do the same but i feel like i have to remind myself of what my life will be like in the future if i make a certain decision Every Single Day . it's like if i go one day without remembering then i'll be off track ugughghg i guess that is part of the journey of making better choices but. some days it's hard i Guess

Private
Youtube Star

devilcake wrote:

hmm wrote:

devilcake wrote:

hmm wrote:
a consequence of having to do it.... im Stupid im so Sorry i dont understand, consequence to what..... OHHH you mean transitioning? omg

Bejxlgp yes grammar became confusing there…. But yes like basically like turning points for me is just like I do something or have to do something etc then in hindsight I will see it turned my life around but when doin it I’m not thinking about it in that way

so you just think of it in hindsight okay.. i try to do the same but i feel like i have to remind myself of what my life will be like in the future if i make a certain decision Every Single Day . it's like if i go one day without remembering then i'll be off track ugughghg i guess that is part of the journey of making better choices but. some days it's hard i Guess

Hm yes that makes sense I think,,, it feels more like habit change type of thing

Dwaal
International Star

Dwaal wrote:

hmm wrote:

Dwaal wrote:

hmm wrote:
x

hmhmhmmm this seems rough? Maybe start with small brakes doing something like taking a walk or something? Maybe that'll make it feel less troublesome rather than just sitting at home???? Idk

Idk how to take a break from online... I'm cronically online? I mean I don't really do much other than watch the news, study and vp so yea I'm no fun....

i could do that but then i go home and stay online for like 8 hours and it is Horrid. i feel like the solution might be to try to add more to my life rather than eliminate being online then not really knowing what to do.. i dunno. again i feel like i only truly lock in when i have some core motivation.. and i'm not feeling spiteful right now so ..! also i for some reason don't get super inspired by other people either idk what's wrong w me omg.

aw it's okay i've always been chronically online too but it wasn't until the past 2 years that i've felt like it was taking a toll on me because i've become more active online i guess, back then it was just contained inside vp and if i wasn't on vp i had real life to care about yes. i miss when it was like that, i hope to get back to that even if vp is essentially dead, which is lowkey better for my case anyway djhdueyhe

So adding more? Maybe try going out with friends (if you have any idk) like just talking? ooooooor start playing a game? even though that might also be close I feel like its different from being online and also good to take mind off of things (even though you said you never really played but one time could be the first) otherwise... running? working out?

Also nothing is wrong with you... I feel the same way... I've always had terrible motivation, but I've found that pulling myself to do something somehow ends with me having motivation to do it???? Which is so weird tbf.

What do you miss that you used to do... but no longer does ?

Hmm
National Star

hmm wrote:

devilcake wrote:

hmm wrote:

devilcake wrote:
Bejxlgp yes grammar became confusing there…. But yes like basically like turning points for me is just like I do something or have to do something etc then in hindsight I will see it turned my life around but when doin it I’m not thinking about it in that way

so you just think of it in hindsight okay.. i try to do the same but i feel like i have to remind myself of what my life will be like in the future if i make a certain decision Every Single Day . it's like if i go one day without remembering then i'll be off track ugughghg i guess that is part of the journey of making better choices but. some days it's hard i Guess

Hm yes that makes sense I think,,, it feels more like habit change type of thing

i guess coming out isn't really a habit thing though, so have you had to do it with a habit or.... hmmm

Private
Youtube Star

devilcake wrote:

hmm wrote:

devilcake wrote:

hmm wrote:
so you just think of it in hindsight okay.. i try to do the same but i feel like i have to remind myself of what my life will be like in the future if i make a certain decision Every Single Day . it's like if i go one day without remembering then i'll be off track ugughghg i guess that is part of the journey of making better choices but. some days it's hard i Guess

Hm yes that makes sense I think,,, it feels more like habit change type of thing

i guess coming out isn't really a habit thing though, so have you had to do it with a habit or.... hmmm

No yes I mean like the social media stuff n all that sound more like a habit change type of turning around

i can’t say I’ve done manyor any like intentional habit changes successfully

Hmm
National Star

hmm wrote:

Dwaal wrote:

hmm wrote:

Dwaal wrote:
hmhmhmmm this seems rough? Maybe start with small brakes doing something like taking a walk or something? Maybe that'll make it feel less troublesome rather than just sitting at home???? Idk

Idk how to take a break from online... I'm cronically online? I mean I don't really do much other than watch the news, study and vp so yea I'm no fun....

i could do that but then i go home and stay online for like 8 hours and it is Horrid. i feel like the solution might be to try to add more to my life rather than eliminate being online then not really knowing what to do.. i dunno. again i feel like i only truly lock in when i have some core motivation.. and i'm not feeling spiteful right now so ..! also i for some reason don't get super inspired by other people either idk what's wrong w me omg.

aw it's okay i've always been chronically online too but it wasn't until the past 2 years that i've felt like it was taking a toll on me because i've become more active online i guess, back then it was just contained inside vp and if i wasn't on vp i had real life to care about yes. i miss when it was like that, i hope to get back to that even if vp is essentially dead, which is lowkey better for my case anyway djhdueyhe

So adding more? Maybe try going out with friends (if you have any idk) like just talking? ooooooor start playing a game? even though that might also be close I feel like its different from being online and also good to take mind off of things (even though you said you never really played but one time could be the first) otherwise... running? working out?

Also nothing is wrong with you... I feel the same way... I've always had terrible motivation, but I've found that pulling myself to do something somehow ends with me having motivation to do it???? Which is so weird tbf.

What do you miss that you used to do... but no longer does ?

i'm too autistic and chronically ill for a proper social life omgg i haven't had one in like 2-3 years lowkey but it's okay as i said i am too Chronically ill. as for gaining interest in things outside of social media yeah i think that would help, it obviously doesn't help that my current thing is kinda reliant on that HANSHBDE but even then i think it'd be fine even if i cut social media out, but again i don't have a "replacement" yet... but i have considered getting into doing more things irl like yeah even working out is a valid option

i think if i do find motivation outside of spite, it's always purely in relation to myself and never to other people... i feel like i just can't apply the same way others live their lives to mine because we are not the same people.. so even if someone is moving/admirable to me, i still am like "that's great for you :] <3 i'm not like that though".. and it bummed me out for a very long time, but i suppose the silver lining is that i at least get to understand myself better like that?

i was relatively offline honestly, i still only have twitter as an actual social media. but back then it really was just vp and then it was tiktok but that was kind of okay, until it became toxic and it no longer was of course, although i feel like it was significantly easier quitting tiktok because i wasn't social on there yes, it was just consumption.

and then it became twitter, which was for years also just consumption so it wasn't a problem, until i socialized and started caring more and more about people's thoughts, although at the same time i constantly think "i don't actually need to know 84389483489 different people's opinions on 2839283 different topics", it's overwhelming but i also need it i guess?

i also just wanted an outlet, i was decent at keeping 80% of my interests to myself (i know... the remaining 20% i talk about on here is already A Lot..), but once i got a taste of having a community to do that with it changed. but also it's just brought more stress and misery honestly help. but also i keep waiting everyday to see if things will ever change... but it won't obviously..

Hmm
National Star

hmm wrote:

devilcake wrote:

hmm wrote:

devilcake wrote:
Hm yes that makes sense I think,,, it feels more like habit change type of thing

i guess coming out isn't really a habit thing though, so have you had to do it with a habit or.... hmmm

No yes I mean like the social media stuff n all that sound more like a habit change type of turning around

i can’t say I’ve done manyor any like intentional habit changes successfully

ahh i see i see

that's alright eheahbanjehb

Hmm
National Star

hmm wrote:
omg i feel like i failed to answer the question and just harped on something else instead My Bad.

MissLondon
Queen of Queens

MissLondon wrote:
Changed my career and moved, best decision ever

Hmm
National Star

hmm wrote:

MissLondon wrote:
Changed my career and moved, best decision ever

what was your previous career and what are you doing now

Nesta
Streetmusician

nesta wrote:

MissLondon wrote:
Changed my career and moved, best decision ever

What do you work as now?

Dwaal
International Star

Dwaal wrote:

hmm wrote:

Dwaal wrote:

hmm wrote:
i could do that but then i go home and stay online for like 8 hours and it is Horrid. i feel like the solution might be to try to add more to my life rather than eliminate being online then not really knowing what to do.. i dunno. again i feel like i only truly lock in when i have some core motivation.. and i'm not feeling spiteful right now so ..! also i for some reason don't get super inspired by other people either idk what's wrong w me omg.

aw it's okay i've always been chronically online too but it wasn't until the past 2 years that i've felt like it was taking a toll on me because i've become more active online i guess, back then it was just contained inside vp and if i wasn't on vp i had real life to care about yes. i miss when it was like that, i hope to get back to that even if vp is essentially dead, which is lowkey better for my case anyway djhdueyhe

So adding more? Maybe try going out with friends (if you have any idk) like just talking? ooooooor start playing a game? even though that might also be close I feel like its different from being online and also good to take mind off of things (even though you said you never really played but one time could be the first) otherwise... running? working out?

Also nothing is wrong with you... I feel the same way... I've always had terrible motivation, but I've found that pulling myself to do something somehow ends with me having motivation to do it???? Which is so weird tbf.

What do you miss that you used to do... but no longer does ?

i'm too autistic and chronically ill for a proper social life omgg i haven't had one in like 2-3 years lowkey but it's okay as i said i am too Chronically ill. as for gaining interest in things outside of social media yeah i think that would help, it obviously doesn't help that my current thing is kinda reliant on that HANSHBDE but even then i think it'd be fine even if i cut social media out, but again i don't have a "replacement" yet... but i have considered getting into doing more things irl like yeah even working out is a valid option

i think if i do find motivation outside of spite, it's always purely in relation to myself and never to other people... i feel like i just can't apply the same way others live their lives to mine because we are not the same people.. so even if someone is moving/admirable to me, i still am like "that's great for you :] <3 i'm not like that though".. and it bummed me out for a very long time, but i suppose the silver lining is that i at least get to understand myself better like that?

i was relatively offline honestly, i still only have twitter as an actual social media. but back then it really was just vp and then it was tiktok but that was kind of okay, until it became toxic and it no longer was of course, although i feel like it was significantly easier quitting tiktok because i wasn't social on there yes, it was just consumption.

and then it became twitter, which was for years also just consumption so it wasn't a problem, until i socialized and started caring more and more about people's thoughts, although at the same time i constantly think "i don't actually need to know 84389483489 different people's opinions on 2839283 different topics", it's overwhelming but i also need it i guess?

i also just wanted an outlet, i was decent at keeping 80% of my interests to myself (i know... the remaining 20% i talk about on here is already A Lot..), but once i got a taste of having a community to do that with it changed. but also it's just brought more stress and misery honestly help. but also i keep waiting everyday to see if things will ever change... but it won't obviously..

Honestly, it seems to me like you might just be extremely lonely, and that's why you need the online security? (nothing wrong with that at all). Being ill, no matter if it's chronic or not, would not matter in a social setting if you find the right people, they'd understand; however, I get that it's difficult to even find a social setting to begin with in that situation... It's even hard to do normally if you don't study or have a job, or some sport/hobby to go to ): ... Maybe there could be some sort of hobby your lovely autistic self could enjoy???

Also you blame yourself wayyy too much, I really don't get who told you what you're sharing is too much (it was stoopjoob wasn't it)... Because it really isn't... I find your silly rants kinda fun and cute, so please don't be so hard on yourself about it.... Maybe try sharing some more somewhere else, other than those places you wanna get away from? I do get that vp might not be the best option as the activity is basically equal to zero these days :') ...

But yea... Motivation comes from doing... So small steps are definitely helpful... a small walk a day could become so much more, a small message a day could do the same.. This is kind of what I meant when I mentioned not caring... life becomes a lot less burdening when you try to not care "what would people think" honestly caring will probably always be a thing I do, even when I say I don't... but at least trying has definitely helped my life for the better.. I started messaging people more, because I stopped caring if they though't I'd be weird, and it definitely helped my social life a lot. Also I stopped caring what other people wore and started wearing what I myself liked... even if people think I look stoopid... It just becomes freeing somehow even if it's all kind of play pretend

Nesta
Streetmusician

nesta wrote:

hmm wrote:

nesta wrote:

NobodyFamous wrote:
Moving out of my parents
It was awful and miserable, but If I could go back and do it again, I would

MOOOD!
Moving out from my dad's!

hmmm in what ways has it benefited you? and were there any initial struggles..

Not being yelled at daily. Not always feeling like shit. Not always being told to clean and cook. IT GAVE ME PEACE IN A WAY HE'D STILL NOT BE ABLE TO OFFER ME. it was moving out or never taking to him again. Also I didn't talk to him for months. My struggles was I don't want to sacrifice the garden for it, nor my time with albus as an elderly bunny and I did "loose" my last year with him even if I visited nearly every week to see my sibling and the bun and work the garden.