age gaps in hook ups relationships - Forum

Anachronism
National Star

Anachronism wrote:

acidreflux wrote:

Anachronism wrote:

acidreflux wrote:

yeah leave her alone

Also I wasnt referring to them when I said gender confusion but the ppl in this thread cuz I have absolutely no idea why their non binary identity and not being fully out would be a reason to not hook up? And from responses I obviously wasnt clear lol

They are confident in their gender identity but in a culture where people are hostile to gender pronouns outside of he and she I get why they're nervous to request them in a corporate setting

that's literally not the issue
the massive age gap is and how extremely inappropriate it would be for you to engage in hooking up relationship w this young person.
don't try to conflate it to gender, this is because of your admittedly creepy ass behavior towards young ppl.

Ok but you deliberately misgendered them

Please don't

Also it's weird af you ignored my other post but replied to the one about their gender tbh

I'm just trying to ask if it would be impossible for strange power dynamics to take place, that's literally the only reason I hesitate

I absolutely dont expect anything serious from this, and I would encourage them to pursue others if they were down since they still have so much time to figure out what they want and explore. We have become pretty good friends tho which I never would of expected from someone that young, and we have considered being roommates (tho if I get the studio I applied for that wont be a thing anymore)

Also I wont even ask til I quit I don't fuck coworkers regardless of age cuz I try 2 avoid drama

Anachronism
National Star

Anachronism wrote:
Also I would discuss this with them before making a move

And if they found it weird I absolutely would respect that, I certainly don't want to pressure them

Account deleted

wrote:

Anachronism wrote:

acidreflux wrote:

Anachronism wrote:
Also I wasnt referring to them when I said gender confusion but the ppl in this thread cuz I have absolutely no idea why their non binary identity and not being fully out would be a reason to not hook up? And from responses I obviously wasnt clear lol

They are confident in their gender identity but in a culture where people are hostile to gender pronouns outside of he and she I get why they're nervous to request them in a corporate setting

that's literally not the issue
the massive age gap is and how extremely inappropriate it would be for you to engage in hooking up relationship w this young person.
don't try to conflate it to gender, this is because of your admittedly creepy ass behavior towards young ppl.

Ok but you deliberately misgendered them

Please don't

Also it's weird af you ignored my other post but replied to the one about their gender tbh

I'm just trying to ask if it would be impossible for strange power dynamics to take place, that's literally the only reason I hesitate

I absolutely dont expect anything serious from this, and I would encourage them to pursue others if they were down since they still have so much time to figure out what they want and explore. We have become pretty good friends tho which I never would of expected from someone that young, and we have considered being roommates (tho if I get the studio I applied for that wont be a thing anymore)

Also I wont even ask til I quit I don't fuck coworkers regardless of age cuz I try 2 avoid drama

this is not something you can expect anything from, because you're literally in the wrong.
all i'm seeing are grooming techniques "we can date after i quit uwu" and shit like that. making THEM become dependent on you in some ways and the open relationship?

the whole issue w this entire thread is YOUR behavior.

Precious
Youtube Star

Precious wrote:
i personally dont think its a problem if youre both consenting adults... but at the same time im not sure why you arent going for someone more around your age

Anachronism
National Star

Anachronism wrote:

acidreflux wrote:

Anachronism wrote:

acidreflux wrote:
that's literally not the issue
the massive age gap is and how extremely inappropriate it would be for you to engage in hooking up relationship w this young person.
don't try to conflate it to gender, this is because of your admittedly creepy ass behavior towards young ppl.

Ok but you deliberately misgendered them

Please don't

Also it's weird af you ignored my other post but replied to the one about their gender tbh

I'm just trying to ask if it would be impossible for strange power dynamics to take place, that's literally the only reason I hesitate

I absolutely dont expect anything serious from this, and I would encourage them to pursue others if they were down since they still have so much time to figure out what they want and explore. We have become pretty good friends tho which I never would of expected from someone that young, and we have considered being roommates (tho if I get the studio I applied for that wont be a thing anymore)

Also I wont even ask til I quit I don't fuck coworkers regardless of age cuz I try 2 avoid drama

this is not something you can expect anything from, because you're literally in the wrong.
all i'm seeing are grooming techniques "we can date after i quit uwu" and shit like that. making THEM become dependent on you in some ways and the open relationship?

the whole issue w this entire thread is YOUR behavior.

Ok I said I dont date coworkers regardless of age. You're ignoring that

How am I making them dependent on me? Also I said I'm more interested in hooking up, not dating, and I would ensure that is clear to them

Private
International Star

ThugWorkout wrote:
Can’t help but think it would lead to u taking advantage

Private
World Famous

Barbarella wrote:
Thinking back on myself at 19, I was a literal child lol
like and virtually every 19 y/o I meet, feels like a literal child, and at best - adult in training lol
like I can't wrap my mind around this
but if you're asking us, you're obv not 100% comfortable with it yourself

SYRE
World Famous

SYRE wrote:

uhyre wrote:
i think if u find urself having to ask that question at all maybe u already have the answer

this

Private
National Star

scoff wrote:

Anachronism wrote:

scoff wrote:
i mean i'd say it depends on where you're at in life

I may as well be foreverkailyn so I guess I'm good

you're not like kai, c'mon - you have a job!!! and you don't live in beige mansion!!!! with a kid you can't take care of!!!! right?

but yeah i mean it all depends on life circumstances, that's my take on it

Anachronism
National Star

Anachronism wrote:

Barbarella wrote:
Thinking back on myself at 19, I was a literal child lol
like and virtually every 19 y/o I meet, feels like a literal child, and at best - adult in training lol
like I can't wrap my mind around this
but if you're asking us, you're obv not 100% comfortable with it yourself

Yeah exactly

I mean I've mentioned before I've never been interested in anyone young before, dude I was going on dates with was like 33 not that long ago

Which is why I really wouldnt want anything serious, because they definitely should take their time to explore and experiment, that's what I was doing at that age. My mom married a 23 going on 24 year old at 19 and that shit didnt last at all, my mom took on responsibilities she wasnt ready for

Tho I like what you said about emotions being more immature and that's my worry, I would absolutely expect them to move on but idk their headspace and I dont know if it would be possible to be respectful even if it's my intentions since I'm far more experienced

I mean we did consider roomating but it would be a temporary thing so we could both save money and cuz they dont wanna live with their step dad anymore (and I moved back in with my gran and I'm also sick of it especially at my age). I don't think that would be weird but yeah to hook up.... it is a gray area

Thank you for your response and thank you for being non-judgmental

Private
National Star

scoff wrote:
i mean aight, relationship between ex bf and i was bad but idt it had that much to do with the age gap (he was 28, i was 19 when we met) but rather the fact that he is a horrible person
current bf is 33, i'm 24. not weird either.

i mean, it's all about what you're after, you know? and what your life is like. like, until may this year i had a much more stable income than my bf does. he still doesn't know what he wants to do with his life, never studied past high school - i do and i went to college for it, AND finished it.

like i know this isn't really relevant in terms of what the actual question here is, but you know?? personal circumstances and shit like that matter. what you want to get out from the relationship matters. where are you at in life, where's the other one? and so on for all eternity

Anachronism
National Star

Anachronism wrote:

scoff wrote:
i mean aight, relationship between ex bf and i was bad but idt it had that much to do with the age gap (he was 28, i was 19 when we met) but rather the fact that he is a horrible person
current bf is 33, i'm 24. not weird either.

i mean, it's all about what you're after, you know? and what your life is like. like, until may this year i had a much more stable income than my bf does. he still doesn't know what he wants to do with his life, never studied past high school - i do and i went to college for it, AND finished it.

like i know this isn't really relevant in terms of what the actual question here is, but you know?? personal circumstances and shit like that matter. what you want to get out from the relationship matters. where are you at in life, where's the other one? and so on for all eternity

We get along, I think they're attractive, we've hung out before, I wouldnt want anything beyond a friends w/ benefits cuz they should definitely experience more ppl I think

I mean again I would have never even known them if we weren't coworkers and I wasnt expecting us to get along like we do, we kinda bonded on accident

It's not like I try to pursue young ppl like some ppl have implied

But again power dynamics is a concern for sure, I wouldnt want to risk them getting invested tbh

Aske
Prince of Pop

Aske wrote:
nno don't do that
8 years is a huge gap when ur that young

Anachronism
National Star

Anachronism wrote:

acidreflux wrote:

Anachronism wrote:

acidreflux wrote:
that's literally not the issue
the massive age gap is and how extremely inappropriate it would be for you to engage in hooking up relationship w this young person.
don't try to conflate it to gender, this is because of your admittedly creepy ass behavior towards young ppl.

Ok but you deliberately misgendered them

Please don't

Also it's weird af you ignored my other post but replied to the one about their gender tbh

I'm just trying to ask if it would be impossible for strange power dynamics to take place, that's literally the only reason I hesitate

I absolutely dont expect anything serious from this, and I would encourage them to pursue others if they were down since they still have so much time to figure out what they want and explore. We have become pretty good friends tho which I never would of expected from someone that young, and we have considered being roommates (tho if I get the studio I applied for that wont be a thing anymore)

Also I wont even ask til I quit I don't fuck coworkers regardless of age cuz I try 2 avoid drama

this is not something you can expect anything from, because you're literally in the wrong.
all i'm seeing are grooming techniques "we can date after i quit uwu" and shit like that. making THEM become dependent on you in some ways and the open relationship?

the whole issue w this entire thread is YOUR behavior.

I emphasize with your concerns. As others have pointed out I obviously share them to an extent or else I wouldnt have asked this question. I dont think you're arguing in good faith either tbh.

If you want to argue the issue is the things I've entertained sure, but my behavior? I havent acted on anything or hit on them. The only thing we have done was search for apartments together, because we both need a place and it's hard to find places to rent that are affordable without roomies here. Also it would help them build a rental history. We didnt intend to live together for more than a year, its be a way for both of us to save especially because they want to save up to move. I dont think that's me trying to make them dependent on me, especially cus I'm also broke af rn lol, itd be a way for us to help each other get ahead

Also you dont seem to understand that I've never considered a relationship with them, but you also think hook up culture is bad for teens and I dont necessarily agree. But my fear is our expectations would both be so different which is why I'm hesitant.

Idk why you're so unnecssarily hostile.

Private
World Famous

Cute wrote:
i agree, if you have to ask it doesnt strike as something you'd be comfortable with either
or idk