breaking up - Forum - Virtual Popstar

Cobain
International Star

cobain wrote:
my eyes are swollen from all the crying, luckily i look better now with makeup on but it's still visible i've cried a lot. which fucking sucks bc i'm going to work soon, but i'm planning on telling my coworkers what's up for once. depending on who's working......
i'm a bit scared they've put two and two together. my boyfriend used to work there too but i've never told anyone at work that he's my bf. i knew it'd just start rumors and people would talk and ask things, i didn't want that. my boyfriend was a bit mad about that because he felt like i hid him or that i was embarrassed of him when truly i just didn't want my coworkers in my business. anywho, i don't want anyone to have figured out it was him, bc now when i say we're broken up n shit i don't want them to see him as a mean guy. idk why it'd matter tho, none of them have contact with him. but still

Klavier
Minister of Pop

Klavier wrote:
i'm kinda half awake rn so sorry if i make no sense but yeah from that it sounds like he's really not being fair about this at all? he's putting words in ur mouth and not giving u a chance to actually say what u need to say. u said u wanted to talk and he pushed a straight answer out of u in the moment before u even had a chance to actually talk to him, and then he goes on about how u should've tried talking to him. i'm really sorry u had to make this really difficult decision and he's being so irrational. i'm sure it's just because he's very emotional rn and it's hard to handle a situation like this and all but man it really grinds my gears seeing how he's saying all those things about u. just remember that u did the right thing and it won't feel this shitty forever

Cobain
International Star

cobain wrote:

Klavier wrote:
i'm kinda half awake rn so sorry if i make no sense but yeah from that it sounds like he's really not being fair about this at all? he's putting words in ur mouth and not giving u a chance to actually say what u need to say. u said u wanted to talk and he pushed a straight answer out of u in the moment before u even had a chance to actually talk to him, and then he goes on about how u should've tried talking to him. i'm really sorry u had to make this really difficult decision and he's being so irrational. i'm sure it's just because he's very emotional rn and it's hard to handle a situation like this and all but man it really grinds my gears seeing how he's saying all those things about u. just remember that u did the right thing and it won't feel this shitty forever

Yeah I understand that he's very emotional rn, he's sad and angry. But it really fucking hurts having him say those things to me. I don't even know what to say back to him, nothing I can say will make it better. It's probably just gonna make things worse no matter what I say.
I hope he's calmed down a bit, but I doubt it. When I last broke up with him he was really emotional at first too and said some hurtful things but a day or two afterwards he calmed down and seemed to understand my perspective a bit. But then he actually let me talk and say what I needed to say. It's not the same now

Private
Popstar

Rouya wrote:
im sorry he's blaming all of his shit on you, but please, even though it is incredibly hard, dont take what he says too personally. you are not to blame for his inability to control his anger, his impulses and his state of mind. you've hurt him, but saying you've "fucked his psyche" is not true - it sounds like it was fucked up before and you are not responsible for him. you tried your best to stay in a destructive and (sounds like) abusive relationship and from what it seems like, he never took the time to reciprocate any of the things you did for him. he will get over it, and you will start to get better once you get some distance from all of this. i hope you feel better soon and when you've gotten your stuff back, i hope you can find some closure. if he contacts you again after having said that he wants nothing to do with you, i think the best thing to do, is to not respond and put some distance in between the two of you, now that you're finally out

hope you feel better, and please know that he is no longer your responsibility

Private
National Star

Miguel wrote:
sometimes some ppl just can not be mature enough 2 deal w a breakup, and honestly i think u will do good without him. u shouldnt feel like shit for not wanting to be in a relationship w someone like that, who blames you for his own issues. u aint responsible for his issues n he should be the one to understand why you dont want a relationship anymore, improve as a person n move on
get your things back whenever u can, n perhaps its better for you both to not see each other, keep ur distance until things cool down n yeah, if yall ever get to meet again, just try to be distant emotionally, the same way u'd act w a stranger bc who knows if u could fall again for the same thing
wish u luck in ur life n sending love n hope

Private
Popstar

rottomilko wrote:

cobain wrote:
thank you all so much, this whole process would've been a million times harder without vp ♡♡♡♡
he has sent me some angry messages. i never answered that message he sent last night, so at around 11 i got this message

"i understand now sofie, holy shit.... you've longed to get rid of me for a long time but not had the guts to say it. fuck.... how fucking long have you waited to get out of this charade? like... this morning i was shocked as fuck and i've been confused and i don't know what all day. but now when i realize what it's probably about i feel myself dying inside. you can't do that do people. don't you understand you've totally fucked my psyche? for real!"

so i answered "that's not how it's like. i would love to meet up and talk. i've never wanted to hurt you, never"

and he said
"no i don't think so either. you've been scared to hurt me so instead you've told me you love me, that you're attracted of me and fuck knows what. i fell apart now, i really mean it. there's nothing to talk about, stop pretending! i can't believe this is for real. fuck. i can't find the words now, there's no words for this"

and two hour laters he wrote this
"i'm grabbing all your things and putting them in a bag in the hallway. get it when i'm at school some day. bring all of my shit that's still left at yours and leave it at the same time. then lock the door and put the key in the letter box and then we're done with each other forever.
i won't even look at you if i see you"

so. great. just great

eXcUSE ME??? he’s a grown fucking man. blaming u like this is straight up manipulative and toxic!!! i’m so glad u got out of this even tho it hurts. what he does is NOT OK to do even if he’s hurt.

Private
Popstar

rottomilko wrote:
n if he actually love u he would treasure n respect ur decision, not try to blame n hurt u

Cobain
International Star

cobain wrote:
i never answered, but i got another message this morning

"maybe my texts became too much last night. but fact is, this is such a slap in the face that i have trouble thinking clearly. i'm in school now so i need to not fucking think about this if i'm gonna be able to stay"

and then 2 hours later
"no, now it's time for me to pull myself together and take this as a man! i love you and yesterday i got one of the worst kick in the balls i've gotten in a long time. but i don't want you to feel bad and guilty. if you don't want to be with me anymore i'll just have to accept that. it hurts, really fucking bad actually, but that's just how it's gonna be for a while. simple as that. we'll talk about the practical stuff later, i still need time so that it can sink in. but as i said, i love you and i don't want to say things to hurt you. i'll be honest and tell you we won't be able to be friends, or at least not in a long time. but it is how it is and i respect your decision. now i'll just have to reroute mentally and we'll part, not as friends, but absolutely not enemies either. ok? it'll be good in the end"

i really don't have it in me to answer him rn. he probably knows i've quit but i need to eat something and get some sleep i think. and just. breathe for a while

Cobain
International Star

cobain wrote:
i answered him
he hasn't replied. but i'm not really expecting him to either. maybe he won't, maybe he needs to let it sink in some more and keep a distance and i understand that. we're not gonna be in each others lives anymore and that feels weird and hurts. but that's just how it is now.
i feel a bit better today, actually. i told my coworkers when one of them asked me if everything was alright. i almost started to cry, but i fought back the tears as much as i could. but i trembled a lot. she comforted me and they've been really nice and gentle with me today. they told me that i'll meet other amazing people i'll connect with and that i'm so young and have basically my entire life ahead of me. told me a bit about their heartbreaks from when they were younger too, and said they know it hurts like shit. pros of having coworkers the same age as my parents, theyre comforting in a mom-way

Private
Streetmusician

kruspersille wrote:

cobain wrote:
i answered him
he hasn't replied. but i'm not really expecting him to either. maybe he won't, maybe he needs to let it sink in some more and keep a distance and i understand that. we're not gonna be in each others lives anymore and that feels weird and hurts. but that's just how it is now.
i feel a bit better today, actually. i told my coworkers when one of them asked me if everything was alright. i almost started to cry, but i fought back the tears as much as i could. but i trembled a lot. she comforted me and they've been really nice and gentle with me today. they told me that i'll meet other amazing people i'll connect with and that i'm so young and have basically my entire life ahead of me. told me a bit about their heartbreaks from when they were younger too, and said they know it hurts like shit. pros of having coworkers the same age as my parents, theyre comforting in a mom-way

Cobain
International Star

cobain wrote:
"believe it or not but school will go great. full focus there now.
i need my key relatively soon. when you drag home some new guy who's rumbling around in your apartment i don't want my key there easy to grab. if you already have someone new there i want it right now, i'll come get it instantly, and i'll stomp the motherfucker to death if he so much as looks at me.
i think you should be straight up to me and say if you've met someone new (or have feelings for someone else) and that's why you dumped me. (i won't do anything stupid, unless i meet him, i promise)
not that i have anything to do with your private life but you've been my girlfriend for over a year, and until the other day you claimed you loved me. so if you want to do the "right" thing, don't piss on me by lying about something like that. you can't be that cowardly!
i don't mean this in an ill way, i just want to be clear"

i....................

Private
National Star

kagura wrote:

cobain wrote:
"believe it or not but school will go great. full focus there now.
i need my key relatively soon. when you drag home some new guy who's rumbling around in your apartment i don't want my key there easy to grab. if you already have someone new there i want it right now, i'll come get it instantly, and i'll stomp the motherfucker to death if he so much as looks at me.
i think you should be straight up to me and say if you've met someone new (or have feelings for someone else) and that's why you dumped me. (i won't do anything stupid, unless i meet him, i promise)
not that i have anything to do with your private life but you've been my girlfriend for over a year, and until the other day you claimed you loved me. so if you want to do the "right" thing, don't piss on me by lying about something like that. you can't be that cowardly!
i don't mean this in an ill way, i just want to be clear"

i....................

ok wtf.... i understand he's mad but threatening to beat shit out of new lover who doesn't even exists goes way too far...

Private
International Star

Bwi wrote:
i have been lurking here and there and he seems... irrational, i guess. the fact that he threatens to beat up a person you are or aren't seeing is weird. the fact that he came up with something as odd as that he thinks you left him due to a new partner is also crazy in my eyes. he probably is just very confused and frustrated, but the fact that he lets it out on you is the most absurd thing as well. i simply am just speechless

but you got this! remember that you deserve to be happy as well and if a relationship doesn't work out, it's totally okayy. don't trap yourself in a situation where you're unhappy, just to please someone else. it's not worth it at all and keep yourself surrounded with good people. you got this!

my mailbox is always open for you, if you ever want btw

Cobain
International Star

cobain wrote:

kagura wrote:

cobain wrote:
"believe it or not but school will go great. full focus there now.
i need my key relatively soon. when you drag home some new guy who's rumbling around in your apartment i don't want my key there easy to grab. if you already have someone new there i want it right now, i'll come get it instantly, and i'll stomp the motherfucker to death if he so much as looks at me.
i think you should be straight up to me and say if you've met someone new (or have feelings for someone else) and that's why you dumped me. (i won't do anything stupid, unless i meet him, i promise)
not that i have anything to do with your private life but you've been my girlfriend for over a year, and until the other day you claimed you loved me. so if you want to do the "right" thing, don't piss on me by lying about something like that. you can't be that cowardly!
i don't mean this in an ill way, i just want to be clear"

i....................

ok wtf.... i understand he's mad but threatening to beat shit out of new lover who doesn't even exists goes way too far...

he said something similar last time we broke up
that he'll beat the shit out of whoever i date next no matter how much time has passed, if i remember it correctly. idk why he says those things. to like make me scared of meeting someone new for the rest of my fucking life????? like dude???
worst part is that he could probably take down anyone and anything. big dude, used to fight a lot. it scares me a bit

Cobain
International Star

cobain wrote:

Bwi wrote:
i have been lurking here and there and he seems... irrational, i guess. the fact that he threatens to beat up a person you are or aren't seeing is weird. the fact that he came up with something as odd as that he thinks you left him due to a new partner is also crazy in my eyes. he probably is just very confused and frustrated, but the fact that he lets it out on you is the most absurd thing as well. i simply am just speechless

but you got this! remember that you deserve to be happy as well and if a relationship doesn't work out, it's totally okayy. don't trap yourself in a situation where you're unhappy, just to please someone else. it's not worth it at all and keep yourself surrounded with good people. you got this!

my mailbox is always open for you, if you ever want btw

♡♡♡