Suchomimus wrote:hmm wrote:
yes i say so much poop shid stuff, and the worst part is that my thoughts sound like that too, but only when im able to properly reflect on it do my real intentions uncover if it makes sense? conditioned to think and talk angrily lol. yesterday i fawked stuff up at work and for 4h straight all i could say to myself in my head was "wow u piece of shit i am going to murder myself" and while that should not reflect the frustration and embarrassment i felt at the moment because it could have been conveyed in a much more gentle and coherent way, my brain is so used to this way of thinking/speaking it just goes w that, and it also kinda confuses how i feel abt things lol. language matters ig
right any time something even slightly inconvenient happens i'm like omg i wanna kill myself, n sometimes i think hmm maybe i should stop saying that, out loud tho i have v calm vocab i suppose
no bc like i pick up on it with the intention of using it in lighthearted scenarios but then it becomes such a habit that it becomes the way i talk, and then i can even convince myself that its how i genuinely think!! really bad idea man my brain is too suggestible smh