question for the theys/gays - Forum

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Claire wrote:

Limbs wrote:

lean wrote:

Limbs wrote:
why are there so many straight cis people in this thread debating about something that doesn't concern you in any way n when the thread was addressed to literally not you....

striaght people be like "i can't grasp this idea so of course it's nonsense"

lmao yea
like "i just can't understand this"... ok.... then don't? you don't need to, why are u making that everyone's problem

idk i asked a question trying to understand something that one person said because it really confused me further and i think its important for people to try to understand each other. and a thread thats asking questions trying to reach understanding seems like the right place to continue to ask clarifying quesitons. isnt it a good thing if people try to understand each other? idk as far as i can tell im the only straight cis person who asked anything in this thread?

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Claire wrote:

Limbs wrote:

lean wrote:
striaght people be like "i can't grasp this idea so of course it's nonsense"

lmao yea
like "i just can't understand this"... ok.... then don't? you don't need to, why are u making that everyone's problem

idk i asked a question trying to understand something that one person said because it really confused me further and i think its important for people to try to understand each other. and a thread thats asking questions trying to reach understanding seems like the right place to continue to ask clarifying quesitons. isnt it a good thing if people try to understand each other? idk as far as i can tell im the only straight cis person who asked anything in this thread?

well pavlov and ouch but like you guys know theyre edgy like it shouldnt even bother you at this point just ignore them lmao

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Limbs wrote:

Claire wrote:

Limbs wrote:

lean wrote:
striaght people be like "i can't grasp this idea so of course it's nonsense"

lmao yea
like "i just can't understand this"... ok.... then don't? you don't need to, why are u making that everyone's problem

idk i asked a question trying to understand something that one person said because it really confused me further and i think its important for people to try to understand each other. and a thread thats asking questions trying to reach understanding seems like the right place to continue to ask clarifying quesitons. isnt it a good thing if people try to understand each other? idk as far as i can tell im the only straight cis person who asked anything in this thread?

i didn't rlly mean you since i didn't see you debating about whether nonbinary ppl's identities are valid or not. trying to understand is good yeah but to a point, if you're talking over the ppl you're trying to understand or arguing that lgbt people are wrong abt their own experiences because you personally can't understand them that's not cool

Sweethoney
Streetmusician

Sweethoney wrote:
This has probably been exxplained already since there are so many pages but here is my take on it:
Identify as non-binary socially but is female sex. And attracted to women so lesbian.

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Melody wrote:
from my pov? gender, race, or any of those kinda things shouldn't matter at all. not if you want to even try and treat people as equals. i apologize if i come across hostile. this is... just a tiring topic to explain.

i don't like being trans. i'm not "proud" of it. but that's also who i am. i'm sorry if that offends you? in some way? tbh it shouldn't be any of your concern. it's the society that wants to label us as such. demands as such. in my country only two genders are officially recognized. you're forced "to choose" between one or another. no third option. this creates a point in which people have to constantly "prove" they're trans

if you're the type to feel you need to emphasize your gender around each corner? trans person who hasn't gone through any treatment would be faced with buckets of hate and "disbelief" should they refer to themselves by their identified gender only

met with shit like "you don't sound/look like a woman" or "you're disgusting, stop pretending to be something you're not" -- though they still get these exact comments regardless 'cause people be asswipes like that

and voilá, thus we "have" to tell others we are trans, for otherwise they only see us as the genders we "look" like. sexism at it's very finest. just like clothes and colors and other stuff are given gendered labels :-)

BATZ
National Star

BATZ wrote:

Limbs wrote:
i don't know
i'm guessing maybe their gender identity is closely enough aligned with womanhood that lesbian feels like the right identity for them? but i'm not a lesbian and i don't know what nb lesbians' experiences are like so i really don't know. im sure everyone has their own reasons n i don't think it's my job to scrutinize how they identify. but nonbinary isn't 1 single gender identity it's an umbrella label for everything that falls outside strictly man and strictly woman so there's lots of different experiences inside that label

i think ur on the money

non-binary means your gender is not exclusively male or female, so it makes sense to call yourself that if "lesbian" fits most of your identity imo

BATZ
National Star

BATZ wrote:

autism wrote:
i'm a non binary lesbian because i am non binary and identify as lesbian. It has nothing to do with my or somebody else's genitals. Gender nonconforming, and he/him lesbians have existed for a long time and some lesbians feel that lesbianism itself affects their gender identity.

SPEAK ON IT!!!

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ouch wrote:

Claire wrote:

Limbs wrote:
lmao yea
like "i just can't understand this"... ok.... then don't? you don't need to, why are u making that everyone's problem

idk i asked a question trying to understand something that one person said because it really confused me further and i think its important for people to try to understand each other. and a thread thats asking questions trying to reach understanding seems like the right place to continue to ask clarifying quesitons. isnt it a good thing if people try to understand each other? idk as far as i can tell im the only straight cis person who asked anything in this thread?

well pavlov and ouch but like you guys know theyre edgy like it shouldnt even bother you at this point just ignore them lmao

Pls lol what I wrote wasnt even bad or offensive at all if u read what I wrote lmao, ppl like to think uwuw they r transphobic etc etc if they ask questions and don't understand but I literally never said u can't call urself whatever u want, its just confusing to me how u want to do it

Pavlov
International Star

Pavlov wrote:

Kit wrote:

ouch wrote:

Kit wrote:
this feels a lil bit like the "if we let trans women into womens bathrooms cis men will dress up as women to assault them" argument. while yea theoretically that could happen it seems ? unlikely ? and they could still do that even if we did start policing people's genitals & deciding nonbinary lesbians weren't "allowed" or "real" and all that idk

personally the harm i think i could do by questioning / excluding / invalidating nonbinary lesbians of any sex is worse than the harm of a cis man calling himself a lesbian ? & cis men already do that like... idk if that still happens since i dont talk to a lot of cis straight men these days but when i was first coming out i got so many men around me joking that "lol i'm a lesbian too then because i like women too!"

Yes I just rlly don't get the point of calling urself a lesbian, at least if ur nor female passing at all

yea i can see how that's ur perspectve from the outside looking in (not a bad thing!) but i guess it's important to remember that someones gender, their identity and sexuality and all of those internal feelings & their sense of self doesn't always have to correlate to their expression or with whether or not they "pass" to you ? and what constitutes "passing" for you may look different to what "passing" is for other people ? you might be able to guess or assume, but you can not definitively know someone's gender by looking at them, you can only know that by asking them & listening

i guess an example i'd use is like, a binary trans woman who knows she's trans, is attracted to women and identifies as a lesbian, but hasn't yet started her social or medical transition. she "looks like" a cis man and is not "female passing" but she's a woman and a lesbian still right ? like there is no automatic connection between someone's personal, felt and lived gender/sexual identity, and whether or not you personally can immediately identify them as that just by looking at them for 0.2 seconds i guess

its just that identity is a cultural phenonomen and when everyone has their own perception of it does it even matter anymore

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ouch wrote:
Anyways, everybody pls stop asking questions or being curious abt smth that doesn't affect u ever cus ur obsessed m8

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GvcciGoddess wrote:

acidreflux wrote:

ouch wrote:

acidreflux wrote:
besides lesbianism is about same-sex attraction as it's a sexual orientation and not a gender identity or even close to that sort of thing. so disregarded the "sex" of the orientation lesbian is to disregard the sexual attraction.

Yeah im confused I think but if I was a lesbian rite, I wouldn't wanna b w someone thta either looks like a man (like born a man) or has a dick or smth like that idk. Same as I don't wanna b w men now that look like they were born women or they have le vagina

yep
i'm a lesbian and i only want to be with women w vageens, like that's the same sex attraction, otherwise it's pointless.
if u don't mind dick + vagina, then you're bi.

Im a lesbo but im somewhat open to being with a woman with a dick like if everything about her “looks like a cis woman” with the only exception being she doesnt have a vagina then i think i could deal with that like its not a complete deal breaker for me if i like someone but tbh i wouldnt rly know what to do like im a top so i prefer to give more than take so like how would i make the sex work if theres no vagina i can play with like i refuse to be penetrated by anything more than fingers and i refuse to be the only one having my genitalia touched like i could never be a pillow princess idk

BATZ
National Star

BATZ wrote:
why did this become about whether trans women are real women ?
that's not even the question

Arix
International Star

Arix wrote:
Ah the gender and sexuality discussions are back once again

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GvcciGoddess wrote:

Limbs wrote:

lean wrote:

Limbs wrote:
why are there so many straight cis people in this thread debating about something that doesn't concern you in any way n when the thread was addressed to literally not you....

striaght people be like "i can't grasp this idea so of course it's nonsense"

lmao yea
like "i just can't understand this"... ok.... then don't? you don't need to, why are u making that everyone's problem

I mean is it rly that strange to want to understand others that are different from u? I personally do feel a need to understand trans ppl and their perspective on gender cuz i think its important for me to be at least somewhat educated on it.

that being said nobody is obligated to educate me so if someone doesnt want to explain something to me im not gonna get all bitchy about it and be like “OK THEN IMMA DISMISS U ENTIRELY AND NOT EVEN TRY TO UNDERSTAND FOREVER” like no ill just take it up with someone else or think some more about it until i get a grasp

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Limbs wrote:

GvcciGoddess wrote:

Limbs wrote:

lean wrote:
striaght people be like "i can't grasp this idea so of course it's nonsense"

lmao yea
like "i just can't understand this"... ok.... then don't? you don't need to, why are u making that everyone's problem

I mean is it rly that strange to want to understand others that are different from u? I personally do feel a need to understand trans ppl and their perspective on gender cuz i think its important for me to be at least somewhat educated on it.

that being said nobody is obligated to educate me so if someone doesnt want to explain something to me im not gonna get all bitchy about it and be like “OK THEN IMMA DISMISS U ENTIRELY AND NOT EVEN TRY TO UNDERSTAND FOREVER” like no ill just take it up with someone else or think some more about it until i get a grasp

this is in the context of "i just don't understand this therefore it's not valid and the ppl who claim that are stupid". "i just don't understand this so i want to learn more" is fine

literally the person i replied to said "i can't grasp this idea so of course it's nonsense" so idk why you're pulling this out of context n turning it into something else