the biggest, worst flaw - Forum

Private
National star

scoff wrote:

Saintal wrote:

scoff wrote:

Saintal wrote:
Sorry to jump into every goddamn conversation here but this topic is the most interesting thing I've found on VP today LOL

Do you have any dreams? (If I may ask.) Like, something you have always wanted to do/experience? Can be small or big. I feel like those "dreams" I have, the things I can say "I don't care if you join because I will do it nonetheless but I would love your company" about, are what makes me feel most alive probably... And comes from the passionate side from me. For me it's like... hiking, rock climbing. Doesn't sound like much but it feels NICE.

yes, i have dreams
i dream of working with troubled kids
i dream of becoming a mother
lately, i've been wanting a dog, too

see the problem here? it all goes back to the very same thing

Yeah I can definitely see the problem. Damn. Of course you feel drained all the time... Yeah maybe you should talk with someone who's a professional about this, who can figure out why your passions and all revolve around others? And how to break that circle.

Or maybe just try to go rock climbing, or to a philosophical café or something! Just try things out where you almost can't do anything for anyone but yourself HAH

maybe i should try out something that's just for me and for no one else lol
i just don't know what
i don't find a lot of joy in solitary things

Private
World famous

Evey wrote:

scoff wrote:

Saintal wrote:

scoff wrote:
yes, i have dreams
i dream of working with troubled kids
i dream of becoming a mother
lately, i've been wanting a dog, too

see the problem here? it all goes back to the very same thing

Yeah I can definitely see the problem. Damn. Of course you feel drained all the time... Yeah maybe you should talk with someone who's a professional about this, who can figure out why your passions and all revolve around others? And how to break that circle.

Or maybe just try to go rock climbing, or to a philosophical café or something! Just try things out where you almost can't do anything for anyone but yourself HAH

maybe i should try out something that's just for me and for no one else lol
i just don't know what
i don't find a lot of joy in solitary things

I am the same actually, so I force people I know to tag along lmao

Private
International star

Raquelle wrote:

scoff wrote:

Raquelle wrote:

Saintal wrote:
Damn this sounds so healthy.

It feels so incredibly good!! For the first time in my life it’s like this.

how do you do that?

i mean, personally my only hobby is this shit, you know? tryna fix people is the most fun i have
it's just that i don't think it's very healthy or progressive and maybe i should find something else but i just never do

Ahh yea i get it
i have a faded memory of us discussing obsessions a couple years ago..? Like picking one subject and being fucking obsessed about for couple of months and then taking a new one? That’s still what i do. And honestly, it’s working out for me.

Of course studying is my long-run ”hobby” as that’s what i do all day but other than that i just pick something different every once in a while. Now it’s fashion and clothing so i dress nicely every damn day just for fun and just for me and go thrifting as often as i can. Keeps me busy and happy. Last summer i learned to cook all kinds of crazy food. I just do all kinds of stuff...

but yea after the breakup something inside my head just... snapped
i was finally free to do anything
also i think i have learned to notice and stop the savior kind of behavior a little? Because now i know a bit better that it’s not the kind of life i want to live. I’m kinda seeing one girl right now and she has just broken up with an extremely abusive and horrible ex and she looooves to open up to me about it. Because probably like to you, people for some reason love opening up to me too. And that’s why i won’t take things further with her. We can see and talk and have little something happening and i would love to devode my life to her but i won’t. It’s just what i have decided. I think sometimes it takes that decision to stop and to not carry everyone else’s problems.

Private
International star

Raquelle wrote:

Saintal wrote:

Raquelle wrote:

Saintal wrote:
I wish it was as easy to do when you're in love and in a relationship. I get f dumb. Like, truly stupid. But I will try to think more like you in that matter. It sounds like what Alice as single would do, which is the version of me with a brain.

Yea i was the same
though the relationship i was in was pretty toxic.. my life really turned around when i became single again. But i’m sure you can learn to think more for yourself in a relationship too. I think most important thing is to try to remember that you are a whole and great person by yourself too. Easier said than done hah.
but i wish you luck with all this!! And all good in life

I am so happy for you, and for what's waiting for you in this life!!!

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. I think I have grown a lot in this relationship, and right now I'm not in it for "forever". It won't be a forever probably, since I don't want kids and he does. And that's an important step for me. To get rid of my idea of this perfect relationship that lasts for all of time. Because it honestly feels like shitty propaganda that's stuck in my head.

Thank you for your kind words!

Yea i get what you are saying. Happily ever after is rarely a realistic goals and a relationship can definitily be valuable and good without lasting forever.

Private
World famous

Evey wrote:

Raquelle wrote:

Saintal wrote:

Raquelle wrote:
Yea i was the same
though the relationship i was in was pretty toxic.. my life really turned around when i became single again. But i’m sure you can learn to think more for yourself in a relationship too. I think most important thing is to try to remember that you are a whole and great person by yourself too. Easier said than done hah.
but i wish you luck with all this!! And all good in life

I am so happy for you, and for what's waiting for you in this life!!!

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. I think I have grown a lot in this relationship, and right now I'm not in it for "forever". It won't be a forever probably, since I don't want kids and he does. And that's an important step for me. To get rid of my idea of this perfect relationship that lasts for all of time. Because it honestly feels like shitty propaganda that's stuck in my head.

Thank you for your kind words!

Yea i get what you are saying. Happily ever after is rarely a realistic goals and a relationship can definitily be valuable and good without lasting forever.

Totally!

Private
National star

scoff wrote:

Raquelle wrote:

scoff wrote:

Raquelle wrote:
It feels so incredibly good!! For the first time in my life it’s like this.

how do you do that?

i mean, personally my only hobby is this shit, you know? tryna fix people is the most fun i have
it's just that i don't think it's very healthy or progressive and maybe i should find something else but i just never do

Ahh yea i get it
i have a faded memory of us discussing obsessions a couple years ago..? Like picking one subject and being fucking obsessed about for couple of months and then taking a new one? That’s still what i do. And honestly, it’s working out for me.

Of course studying is my long-run ”hobby” as that’s what i do all day but other than that i just pick something different every once in a while. Now it’s fashion and clothing so i dress nicely every damn day just for fun and just for me and go thrifting as often as i can. Keeps me busy and happy. Last summer i learned to cook all kinds of crazy food. I just do all kinds of stuff...

but yea after the breakup something inside my head just... snapped
i was finally free to do anything
also i think i have learned to notice and stop the savior kind of behavior a little? Because now i know a bit better that it’s not the kind of life i want to live. I’m kinda seeing one girl right now and she has just broken up with an extremely abusive and horrible ex and she looooves to open up to me about it. Because probably like to you, people for some reason love opening up to me too. And that’s why i won’t take things further with her. We can see and talk and have little something happening and i would love to devode my life to her but i won’t. It’s just what i have decided. I think sometimes it takes that decision to stop and to not carry everyone else’s problems.

and my obsessions are... weirder
right now it's gone back to true crime
god, i listen to so many podcasts and i read so much and... i like it but i can't be doing that all the time or i'll tire of it instantly

Private
International star

Raquelle wrote:

scoff wrote:

Raquelle wrote:

scoff wrote:
how do you do that?

i mean, personally my only hobby is this shit, you know? tryna fix people is the most fun i have
it's just that i don't think it's very healthy or progressive and maybe i should find something else but i just never do

Ahh yea i get it
i have a faded memory of us discussing obsessions a couple years ago..? Like picking one subject and being fucking obsessed about for couple of months and then taking a new one? That’s still what i do. And honestly, it’s working out for me.

Of course studying is my long-run ”hobby” as that’s what i do all day but other than that i just pick something different every once in a while. Now it’s fashion and clothing so i dress nicely every damn day just for fun and just for me and go thrifting as often as i can. Keeps me busy and happy. Last summer i learned to cook all kinds of crazy food. I just do all kinds of stuff...

but yea after the breakup something inside my head just... snapped
i was finally free to do anything
also i think i have learned to notice and stop the savior kind of behavior a little? Because now i know a bit better that it’s not the kind of life i want to live. I’m kinda seeing one girl right now and she has just broken up with an extremely abusive and horrible ex and she looooves to open up to me about it. Because probably like to you, people for some reason love opening up to me too. And that’s why i won’t take things further with her. We can see and talk and have little something happening and i would love to devode my life to her but i won’t. It’s just what i have decided. I think sometimes it takes that decision to stop and to not carry everyone else’s problems.

and my obsessions are... weirder
right now it's gone back to true crime
god, i listen to so many podcasts and i read so much and... i like it but i can't be doing that all the time or i'll tire of it instantly

Yea i’ve had that one too... and organized crime also...
i got tired and then came up with a new one
idk it’s probably a bit fucked up too but what can i do if that’s how i enjoy life the most you know

Private
National star

scoff wrote:

Raquelle wrote:

scoff wrote:

Raquelle wrote:
Ahh yea i get it
i have a faded memory of us discussing obsessions a couple years ago..? Like picking one subject and being fucking obsessed about for couple of months and then taking a new one? That’s still what i do. And honestly, it’s working out for me.

Of course studying is my long-run ”hobby” as that’s what i do all day but other than that i just pick something different every once in a while. Now it’s fashion and clothing so i dress nicely every damn day just for fun and just for me and go thrifting as often as i can. Keeps me busy and happy. Last summer i learned to cook all kinds of crazy food. I just do all kinds of stuff...

but yea after the breakup something inside my head just... snapped
i was finally free to do anything
also i think i have learned to notice and stop the savior kind of behavior a little? Because now i know a bit better that it’s not the kind of life i want to live. I’m kinda seeing one girl right now and she has just broken up with an extremely abusive and horrible ex and she looooves to open up to me about it. Because probably like to you, people for some reason love opening up to me too. And that’s why i won’t take things further with her. We can see and talk and have little something happening and i would love to devode my life to her but i won’t. It’s just what i have decided. I think sometimes it takes that decision to stop and to not carry everyone else’s problems.

and my obsessions are... weirder
right now it's gone back to true crime
god, i listen to so many podcasts and i read so much and... i like it but i can't be doing that all the time or i'll tire of it instantly

Yea i’ve had that one too... and organized crime also...
i got tired and then came up with a new one
idk it’s probably a bit fucked up too but what can i do if that’s how i enjoy life the most you know

i guess everyone's just gotta do what they enjoy doing in order to stay moderately happy and satisfied with life, eh?

i've also been into cooking lately
or, rather the idea of cooking since i don't have a proper kitchen lol
i'm just really longing for the time when i manage to find a better place with an actual kitchen so that i can start cooking all those things i wanna try cooking, you know? i should do it anyway, because i really need to improve my cooking skills

Account deleted

wrote:
prioritize yourself and what you want?

Private
National star

scoff wrote:

Nesta wrote:
prioritize yourself and what you want?

now that's the tricky thing, you see? because i want to devote myself to others at all costs but i know that i shouldn't

Account deleted

wrote:

scoff wrote:

Nesta wrote:
prioritize yourself and what you want?

now that's the tricky thing, you see? because i want to devote myself to others at all costs but i know that i shouldn't

why do you want to do that?

maybe consider the saying that "to help anyone else you first have to help yourself."