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i'm the worst
SiXsiXsiX
World famous



siXsiXsiX wrote:
i can't stop once i start drinking
everything feels so good and i dread that the moment will be over and there is day tomorrow and all this feeling will come to an end
19
Posts: 9572
Date: 10-07-2021 17:56
SiXsiXsiX
World famous



siXsiXsiX wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
siXsiXsiX wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
The only acceptable apology is changed behavior. If you can't control how you behave when you drink, the best apology is to stop drinking. 
i know. and it's the only solution. for me to stop drinking. but i don't want that, a life withour alcohol
Would you be willing to switch to beer? It's what I had to do. I cant handle liquor. I'm a sloppy, flirty mess. 

(Well I still drink it ocassionally but not regularly anymore). 

Also at least you feel remorse for your actions. My ex would say shit like feeling bad for the shit he fucked up while drinking. Then one night I told him to apologize for breaking a promise to his neighbor cuz I was trying to break up a drunken fight. Well his response was to call the cops on us, and later place a knife against my neck and kick me out??? He never really apologized. He said I was "a bitch to him" but he was "willing to forgive." Wtf??? 

I think your best bet is to not beat yourself up, but to be willing to hold yourself accountable and change. 
that's what i do. i've stopped drinking shots n anything stronger than beer.. cause i know it never ends well
but last night idk what happened, they offered me and i was having a good time and i didn't think twice


whoa.. yea your ex sounds real crazy tho. i'm glad i'm not that violent..
19
Posts: 9572
Date: 10-07-2021 17:59
Private
World famous



Ground wrote:
since it's an addiction u deffo need help with getting to the root of the problem 
if the psychiatry isn't an option maybe the family doctor, ungdomsmottagningen or something like that could help u out ?
n there are online stuff as well, but i would recommend actually going to physical meetings as that has a better effect on treating addictions

u urself must be willing to work on whatever is bothering u and u need to be determined to wanting to get better or else the 'help' will be useless

i rly hope u can find a solution to this as this is affecting not only u but the people around u as well
23
Posts: 19035
Date: 10-07-2021 18:05
SiXsiXsiX
World famous



siXsiXsiX wrote:
Nice wrote:
since it's an addiction u deffo need help with getting to the root of the problem 
if the psychiatry isn't an option maybe the family doctor, ungdomsmottagningen or something like that could help u out ?
n there are online stuff as well, but i would recommend actually going to physical meetings as that has a better effect on treating addictions

u urself must be willing to work on whatever is bothering u and u need to be determined to wanting to get better or else the 'help' will be useless

i rly hope u can find a solution to this as this is affecting not only u but the people around u as well
it's not an addiction and alcohol isn't the issue. my mind is 
and i am on the waiting list on the psychiatry to start seeing a new therapist.. but it's been over a year.. and not looking like i'll get in any time soon

and thank you
ofc i don't wish for things to be this way and i'm trying my best to better myself. but it's not so easy
19
Posts: 9572
Date: 10-07-2021 18:13
Anachronism
National star



Anachronism wrote:
siXsiXsiX wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
siXsiXsiX wrote:
i know. and it's the only solution. for me to stop drinking. but i don't want that, a life withour alcohol
Would you be willing to switch to beer? It's what I had to do. I cant handle liquor. I'm a sloppy, flirty mess. 

(Well I still drink it ocassionally but not regularly anymore). 

Also at least you feel remorse for your actions. My ex would say shit like feeling bad for the shit he fucked up while drinking. Then one night I told him to apologize for breaking a promise to his neighbor cuz I was trying to break up a drunken fight. Well his response was to call the cops on us, and later place a knife against my neck and kick me out??? He never really apologized. He said I was "a bitch to him" but he was "willing to forgive." Wtf??? 

I think your best bet is to not beat yourself up, but to be willing to hold yourself accountable and change. 
that's what i do. i've stopped drinking shots n anything stronger than beer.. cause i know it never ends well
but last night idk what happened, they offered me and i was having a good time and i didn't think twice


whoa.. yea your ex sounds real crazy tho. i'm glad i'm not that violent..
Have you discussed with your partner that you dont think you should go to parties with him right now? If he respects you he would support that decision I think. They sound like too much of a temptation atm for you. 

I mean I wasnt too much better... I punched his roommate in the face cuz he said a misogynistic comment about abortion and I wasnt even that drunk, I had a few malt liquors i think. His response was to beat me even harder, and my ex broke it up. When he came back from the gym I pounded more beers in between and hurled a bunch of insults at him. I got escorted home in a cop car and fortunately my ex persuaded his roomie to drop charges... tho I'd of levied them against him too if he pursued them. 

As for why I never pressed charges against my ex over the knife thing... idk, I loved him, it was just a misunderstanding, I didn't get hurt so why would I ruin his life? 

As someone who has alcohol abuse issues as well and definitely used it to self medicate, you should seek mental health help. Also totally get being uncomfortable at the idea of abstinence. Maybe moderation is more realistic? And if you just cant moderate you'll have to be honest with yourself. 

I'm ok with beer (usually.) I dont drink liquor much now for obvious reasons. It works for me.
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 10-07-2021 18:15 | Times changed: 1
Private
World famous



Ground wrote:
siXsiXsiX wrote:
Nice wrote:
since it's an addiction u deffo need help with getting to the root of the problem 
if the psychiatry isn't an option maybe the family doctor, ungdomsmottagningen or something like that could help u out ?
n there are online stuff as well, but i would recommend actually going to physical meetings as that has a better effect on treating addictions

u urself must be willing to work on whatever is bothering u and u need to be determined to wanting to get better or else the 'help' will be useless

i rly hope u can find a solution to this as this is affecting not only u but the people around u as well
it's not an addiction and alcohol isn't the issue. my mind is 
and i am on the waiting list on the psychiatry to start seeing a new therapist.. but it's been over a year.. and not looking like i'll get in any time soon

and thank you
ofc i don't wish for things to be this way and i'm trying my best to better myself. but it's not so easy
i rly hope u will get an appointment soon then so things can be sorted out
but i think u need to call them up personally to ask them to speed up the process, because here in sweden u rly need to be adamant abt getting the help u deserve because otherwise u will just go around waiting and waiting unfortunately,, n i know this from my own experiences
23
Posts: 19035
Date: 10-07-2021 18:16
Anachronism
National star



Anachronism wrote:
siXsiXsiX wrote:
Nice wrote:
since it's an addiction u deffo need help with getting to the root of the problem 
if the psychiatry isn't an option maybe the family doctor, ungdomsmottagningen or something like that could help u out ?
n there are online stuff as well, but i would recommend actually going to physical meetings as that has a better effect on treating addictions

u urself must be willing to work on whatever is bothering u and u need to be determined to wanting to get better or else the 'help' will be useless

i rly hope u can find a solution to this as this is affecting not only u but the people around u as well
it's not an addiction and alcohol isn't the issue. my mind is 
and i am on the waiting list on the psychiatry to start seeing a new therapist.. but it's been over a year.. and not looking like i'll get in any time soon

and thank you
ofc i don't wish for things to be this way and i'm trying my best to better myself. but it's not so easy
Im not a mental health or addictions expert but it does sound like alcohol is a part of the issue here. You may not be addicted but it does sound like you struggle with abuse and moderating your intake. 

That doesnt mean its your main issue either, nor do I mean it badly. Hell there's still a part of me that thinks alcohol wasnt really a problem but I mean it was for me. Brains r weird 
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 10-07-2021 18:21
Anachronism
National star



Anachronism wrote:
Also tbh op after being sober or like... just moderating your drinking for awhile you look back at how you used to drink and the shit you used to do and it's like... wtf. I know reducing intake can seem kinda terrifying if you're not used to it but I reccomend it its an eye opener 
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 10-07-2021 18:24
Private
Popstar



ouch wrote:
I told my sister to break up w her bf cus he flirts w other girls n shit when he drinks, and he won't stop drinking even tho he promised, but tbh I feel like,,, a hypocrite, cus I do like flirting n shit when im drunk but it isn't so much cus I wanan do smth with them uknow,, idk. Like if I had a bf, I would probably still do it cus its just fun n attention n all that, not that I wanna fuck them or anything. Aj,,
16
Posts: 95491
Date: 10-07-2021 18:27
Private
National star



scoff wrote:
if it makes you feel better, i freaked out and threw a fan on the floor last night so hard it broke... and it's a million fucking degrees inside
alcohol is evil

bf not happy
20
Posts: 34385
Date: 10-07-2021 18:31
Anachronism
National star



Anachronism wrote:
Also I have some thoughts on the "I'm a terrible person, he doesn't deserve me" shit. 

I started drinking at work so I wouldn't have to deal with a midday hangover. I was taking shots of 100 proof and I fell asleep in the bathroom 4 20 minutes. I almost got sent home and fired. Never drank at work again. 

Not long after I had nearly half a litre in about an hour and I'm a lightweight so it was enough for a partial blackout. I cut my friends finger open with a knife and I dont remember at all. I'm lucky were still friends. The next day I was so hungover i had spins and nearly vomited and my manager was pretty pissed. 

That's when I beer tapered and eventually scaled back. My manager noticed and I told him I deserved to be fired and he said I deserved a job and that he was proud of me. Idk that stood out. 

You cant undo the past, but you can hold yourself accountable and strive for better. Also I was the type to drink to forget about my self hatred or the terrible things I did while drunk. I think you should be kinder to yourself tbh. Beating yourself up kinda feeds the cycle imo
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 10-07-2021 18:50 | Times changed: 1
Anachronism
National star



Anachronism wrote:
scoff wrote:
if it makes you feel better, i freaked out and threw a fan on the floor last night so hard it broke... and it's a million fucking degrees inside
alcohol is evil

bf not happy
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 10-07-2021 18:52
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