hmm wrote:Sobbing wrote:
like i get it unga bunga monkey brain say stay alive so i stay alive
but outside of that
yes everyone fears death
everyone reports fear before attempted suicide
but what makes life bearable? ionly thing i can think of are pets or other humans
what makes life bearable... maybe my hobbies. i again am a very easily entertained brain, even if deep down i am extremely depressed and numb i can still make myself enjoy it, also there's this probably stupid thing i do lmfao i like to make sure i enjoy myself so that i'll look back in the present somewhat fondly, not have it just be all misery u know.
pets.. i haven't had one in years so i dunno the feeling, humans... i'm not bitter about it but i try not to make myself attached lmfao, i do really enjoy others and everything but i likely won't ever experience any sort of true/close connection w anyone again because i dunno, it feels more like a fantasy than a reality. i try to make something out of the connections i have and i'm for the most part grateful for it (even tho sometimes when im going a little crazy!! i say bad things like fuck everyone everyone is useless, but thas just me being crazy hehe...). i also read a lot of fiction tho so i'm a fucking voyeruistic hermit smh, getting my fix though it i suppose

i'm still lonely but it be like that u kno
have u had bad experiences when bonding with humans or something