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Sera wrote:
it's not nearly as bad as your case but basically financial abuse through my whole life, putting me in dangerous situations, dressing me in very adult clothes when i was a child and joking how her 30 yo colleague is very handsome but still a bit too old for me (i was 9 and never had shown any interest in this random man), encouraging me to date my 58 yo teacher, victim-blaming me for my sa and so on. the final straw was her selling everything i owned (clothes, furniture etc) while i was living abroad for three years and then saying i'm ungrateful for the thrifted plate set she got for me lol. which was the only thing she had gotten me during the past at least five years

but yeah. nc was the best decision i ever did and it seems that she's doing better now or at least found someone else to leech off. my mental health got so much better once she got out of the picture. 5/5, would recommend

Anachronism wrote:
Have you considered inviting her back into your life at some point? 

I didnt talk to her for an entire year, then brought her back in. It was good for our relationship but after this I am done. It helps that I'm 28, and while single (tho have my sights on someone, we've been on a few casual dates but I'm worried I'm in the friendzone but well see), I am considering starting a family, and in no way do I want her involved if I ever do. 

I have to say not talking to her for a year was a good decision. She quit verbally abusing me because she understood I'm not taking her shit. I think it's why she didnt call me to tell me the news. 

No one wants to be estranged from their parents but sometimes you have to be. I think this is the case. 

Sera wrote:
i'll answer later, omw to work

Anachronism wrote:
Have you considered inviting her back into your life at some point? 

I didnt talk to her for an entire year, then brought her back in. It was good for our relationship but after this I am done. It helps that I'm 28, and while single (tho have my sights on someone, we've been on a few casual dates but I'm worried I'm in the friendzone but well see), I am considering starting a family, and in no way do I want her involved if I ever do. 

I have to say not talking to her for a year was a good decision. She quit verbally abusing me because she understood I'm not taking her shit. I think it's why she didnt call me to tell me the news. 

No one wants to be estranged from their parents but sometimes you have to be. I think this is the case. 

Sera wrote:
i'll answer later, omw to work

Sera wrote:
i gave her a chance after a year of nc and a year (before this) of very little contact but i'm not giving her another. i won't tell her when i'm getting married nor introduce her to my children. not sure how it will work out with curious toddlers but i'm sure living in another country will have its benefits. she's as good as dead to me but the problem with dead people is that you're supposed to miss/value the memory of them/whatever

but yeah. seems like you know what to do and it speaks volumes that she only started treating you better after a year of nc. she seems to have an entitled view of the people in her life which is driving them away. it def sucks that you must do this but it's much easier the second time. things can only go up from here