My mom got kicked out - Forum

Anachronism
National Star

Anachronism wrote:
Of a halfway house, which is like a sober living facility

I guess she got into a fight with a resident there

She made it a month and she has nowhere else to go

She is 45 and most people have cut her off, she has no job prospects minus prostitution, shes fucked

This place was supposed to help with job rehabilitation and housing, it was only for 18 months, and she barely made it a month

For the love of god

Anachronism
National Star

Anachronism wrote:
I drove up 2 1/2 hours to help her move out of her apartment

I've given her money for supplies despite living paycheck to paycheck rn, even paid for Amazon prime for her so I could be primary and send her stuff, really didnt have the money but did it anyway

Was stressed out trying to help her during a psychotic break last year I contemplated suicide

I feel so helpless theres nothing I can do

Anachronism
National Star

Anachronism wrote:
Am I a bad person for not wanting to let her know about openings in my apartment complex

Like i dont want her here i cant deal with her antics

And shes always had a place to go maybe finally being homeless will change things

Fuck dude I hate all of this

Private
International Star

meilin wrote:

Anachronism wrote:
Am I a bad person for not wanting to let her know about openings in my apartment complex

Like i dont want her here i cant deal with her antics

And shes always had a place to go maybe finally being homeless will change things

Fuck dude I hate all of this

no. definitely not. you've done enough and her living near you sounds like a terrible idea. she's 45, she needs to take some responsibility for her own life. she can't always rely on you. if anything i think she would benefit from having to do things on her own. at least my mom did/does

though i can understand that your mom being homeless is scary and i think it's okay to help her find a place. but after that, she needs to do things on her own

Anachronism
National Star

Anachronism wrote:

Sera wrote:

Anachronism wrote:
Am I a bad person for not wanting to let her know about openings in my apartment complex

Like i dont want her here i cant deal with her antics

And shes always had a place to go maybe finally being homeless will change things

Fuck dude I hate all of this

no. definitely not. you've done enough and her living near you sounds like a terrible idea. she's 45, she needs to take some responsibility for her own life. she can't always rely on you. if anything i think she would benefit from having to do things on her own. at least my mom did/does

though i can understand that your mom being homeless is scary and i think it's okay to help her find a place. but after that, she needs to do things on her own

Where I feel heartless is I dont want to talk to her. Like honestly be homeless. Does she not realise the strain shes put on me? I want to sever ties. Shes hurt everyone.

I mean yes, of course I worry she will overdose on drugs, or finally commit suicide, and I don't really want her to be homeless but I cant do anything. I've tried. Believe me. It's so heartbreaking. I want the best. But I dont think i can help.

I mean according to her no one can help because they refuse to give her medical care for supposed strokes and seizures she has. "No one believes me! I went crazy because of a tooth infection! They just blame kratom!"

Until you admit the drugs are mostly the problem I cant do shit for you. You failed me as a mother.

Anachronism
National Star

Anachronism wrote:
Not once has she taken responsibility for a single fucking thing

Blames the medical establishment and the halfway house staff for not treating her non existing medical conditions. "They just blame the drugs ):"

Cuz the drugs are the problem lol

Pitbull
Popstar

Pitbull wrote:
You have done a lot more than what anyone would do. I think you should focus on yourself. I never advice going NC, but maybe it would benefit your mental health and life?

Private
International Star

meilin wrote:

Anachronism wrote:

Sera wrote:

Anachronism wrote:
Am I a bad person for not wanting to let her know about openings in my apartment complex

Like i dont want her here i cant deal with her antics

And shes always had a place to go maybe finally being homeless will change things

Fuck dude I hate all of this

no. definitely not. you've done enough and her living near you sounds like a terrible idea. she's 45, she needs to take some responsibility for her own life. she can't always rely on you. if anything i think she would benefit from having to do things on her own. at least my mom did/does

though i can understand that your mom being homeless is scary and i think it's okay to help her find a place. but after that, she needs to do things on her own

Where I feel heartless is I dont want to talk to her. Like honestly be homeless. Does she not realise the strain shes put on me? I want to sever ties. Shes hurt everyone.

I mean yes, of course I worry she will overdose on drugs, or finally commit suicide, and I don't really want her to be homeless but I cant do anything. I've tried. Believe me. It's so heartbreaking. I want the best. But I dont think i can help.

I mean according to her no one can help because they refuse to give her medical care for supposed strokes and seizures she has. "No one believes me! I went crazy because of a tooth infection! They just blame kratom!"

Until you admit the drugs are mostly the problem I cant do shit for you. You failed me as a mother.

exactly.

Anachronism
National Star

Anachronism wrote:

Sera wrote:

Anachronism wrote:

Sera wrote:
no. definitely not. you've done enough and her living near you sounds like a terrible idea. she's 45, she needs to take some responsibility for her own life. she can't always rely on you. if anything i think she would benefit from having to do things on her own. at least my mom did/does

though i can understand that your mom being homeless is scary and i think it's okay to help her find a place. but after that, she needs to do things on her own

Where I feel heartless is I dont want to talk to her. Like honestly be homeless. Does she not realise the strain shes put on me? I want to sever ties. Shes hurt everyone.

I mean yes, of course I worry she will overdose on drugs, or finally commit suicide, and I don't really want her to be homeless but I cant do anything. I've tried. Believe me. It's so heartbreaking. I want the best. But I dont think i can help.

I mean according to her no one can help because they refuse to give her medical care for supposed strokes and seizures she has. "No one believes me! I went crazy because of a tooth infection! They just blame kratom!"

Until you admit the drugs are mostly the problem I cant do shit for you. You failed me as a mother.

exactly.

Do you mind explaining the situation with your mom

Anachronism
National Star

Anachronism wrote:

Pitbull wrote:
You have done a lot more than what anyone would do. I think you should focus on yourself. I never advice going NC, but maybe it would benefit your mental health and life?

Yeah I'm going to

She hasnt called me and I think it's because she realizes I'm not going to be supportive. Which I'm happy about. Lol

Her mom told me about it. I guess she overheard a staff member say she has 24 hours to leave. So happy i didnt have to listen to that bs

Private
International Star

meilin wrote:

Anachronism wrote:

Sera wrote:

Anachronism wrote:
Where I feel heartless is I dont want to talk to her. Like honestly be homeless. Does she not realise the strain shes put on me? I want to sever ties. Shes hurt everyone.

I mean yes, of course I worry she will overdose on drugs, or finally commit suicide, and I don't really want her to be homeless but I cant do anything. I've tried. Believe me. It's so heartbreaking. I want the best. But I dont think i can help.

I mean according to her no one can help because they refuse to give her medical care for supposed strokes and seizures she has. "No one believes me! I went crazy because of a tooth infection! They just blame kratom!"

Until you admit the drugs are mostly the problem I cant do shit for you. You failed me as a mother.

exactly.

Do you mind explaining the situation with your mom

it's not nearly as bad as your case but basically financial abuse through my whole life, putting me in dangerous situations, dressing me in very adult clothes when i was a child and joking how her 30 yo colleague is very handsome but still a bit too old for me (i was 9 and never had shown any interest in this random man), encouraging me to date my 58 yo teacher, victim-blaming me for my sa and so on. the final straw was her selling everything i owned (clothes, furniture etc) while i was living abroad for three years and then saying i'm ungrateful for the thrifted plate set she got for me lol. which was the only thing she had gotten me during the past at least five years

but yeah. nc was the best decision i ever did and it seems that she's doing better now or at least found someone else to leech off. my mental health got so much better once she got out of the picture. 5/5, would recommend

MissLondon
World Famous

MissLondon wrote:
It seems as if whenever
things are going great for you
Or there’s some personal triumph
family or someone close
always manages to need you
for some crisis.

I’ve told you my thoughts before
regarding your mom
and I can understand being conflicted
because you have a good heart
but you also have to think about
yourself too and what you’ve done
to get where you are now
Do whatever you feel comfortable with
even it’s no..don’t let anyone/anything
take you down/stop you from
accomplishing your goals.

love you and hope things
work out

Private
World Famous

Evey wrote:
sounds pretty bad if a facility takes ppl in who need help and then just shut them out with no plan b

no you're not a bad person for not letting her know that she could move into the same building as u, it's not healthy to live in the same building as your parents when you've become an adult (especially if the relationship looks like yours)

focus on yourself and don't even let her make you feel bad about what you do and don't do for her benefit. you're not her mother

Anachronism
National Star

Anachronism wrote:

Sera wrote:

Anachronism wrote:

Sera wrote:

exactly.

Do you mind explaining the situation with your mom

it's not nearly as bad as your case but basically financial abuse through my whole life, putting me in dangerous situations, dressing me in very adult clothes when i was a child and joking how her 30 yo colleague is very handsome but still a bit too old for me (i was 9 and never had shown any interest in this random man), encouraging me to date my 58 yo teacher, victim-blaming me for my sa and so on. the final straw was her selling everything i owned (clothes, furniture etc) while i was living abroad for three years and then saying i'm ungrateful for the thrifted plate set she got for me lol. which was the only thing she had gotten me during the past at least five years

but yeah. nc was the best decision i ever did and it seems that she's doing better now or at least found someone else to leech off. my mental health got so much better once she got out of the picture. 5/5, would recommend

Have you considered inviting her back into your life at some point?

I didnt talk to her for an entire year, then brought her back in. It was good for our relationship but after this I am done. It helps that I'm 28, and while single (tho have my sights on someone, we've been on a few casual dates but I'm worried I'm in the friendzone but well see), I am considering starting a family, and in no way do I want her involved if I ever do.

I have to say not talking to her for a year was a good decision. She quit verbally abusing me because she understood I'm not taking her shit. I think it's why she didnt call me to tell me the news.

No one wants to be estranged from their parents but sometimes you have to be. I think this is the case.

Anachronism
National Star

Anachronism wrote:

Evey wrote:
sounds pretty bad if a facility takes ppl in who need help and then just shut them out with no plan b

no you're not a bad person for not letting her know that she could move into the same building as u, it's not healthy to live in the same building as your parents when you've become an adult (especially if the relationship looks like yours)

focus on yourself and don't even let her make you feel bad about what you do and don't do for her benefit. you're not her mother

I don't know exactly what she did but I dont even want to know to be honest.

I'm going to assume shes blaming the facility when I bet she violated their rules.

I mailed her $70 worth of crap I could barely afford (but an amazon gift card i qualified for covered it). I'm going to call the facility and see if it's still there. Hopefully I can return it.

Anachronism
National Star

Anachronism wrote:

MissLondon wrote:
It seems as if whenever
things are going great for you
Or there’s some personal triumph
family or someone close
always manages to need you
for some crisis.

I’ve told you my thoughts before
regarding your mom
and I can understand being conflicted
because you have a good heart
but you also have to think about
yourself too and what you’ve done
to get where you are now
Do whatever you feel comfortable with
even it’s no..don’t let anyone/anything
take you down/stop you from
accomplishing your goals.

love you and hope things
work out

Love you too ♡

It's my personal conspiracy theory my grandma and mom both deliberately sabotaged my independence so I wouldnt leave them cuz they knew if I was independent I would

They refused to teach me how to drive and I didnt even learn til last year cuz i bought a car and learned with a friend lol.

I'm not sure if grandma is next but she might be. Mom is on blacklist for sure. Hopefully not forever but it may be the case.

But I've noticed the same... they dont seem to like when I succeed and conveniently need favors when I do... its weird