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"Oh I'm not bothered/offended"
Private
Princess of Pop



Arthema wrote:
I won't say she's offended but she could've been more clear? or honest?
like why drag that convo on just say no
17
Posts: 39180
Date: 08-06-2022 12:23
Private
International star



Potion wrote:
it seems to me that you annoyed her with your preconcieved (judgy and wrong) ideas of how she would think so she dipped
17
Posts: 6962
Date: 08-06-2022 12:37
Account deleted




wrote:
honestly she was trying to let it down gently, to spare your feelings and the friend.
like you wouldn't have made a scene if she had been outright abt it.
besides as you said she thought it was a woman whom she was going with, then yeah, with these subjects everything is always handled w gloves on.
Date: 08-06-2022 13:15
Alam
World famous



Alam wrote:
God this thread is so fucking stupid lmao
20
Posts: 23097
Date: 08-06-2022 13:28
Anachronism
National star



Anachronism wrote:
slave wrote:
why is this even a problem
I'm fine with her not wanting my friend to come 

I just dont know why she wasnt direct when I asked her 

The thread in general was meant to be about why people do stuff like this, dont just say how they really feel
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 08-06-2022 16:33
Anachronism
National star



Anachronism wrote:
Potion wrote:
it seems to me that you annoyed her with your preconcieved (judgy and wrong) ideas of how she would think so she dipped
Yeah that's my biggest takeaway from this thread 

Obviously she only wanted to go with girls, so I wasnt wrong about a male presence making her uncomfortable (which is fine) 

But I shouldnt of assumed why and could of made it brief yeah 

Bad etiquette on my part
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 08-06-2022 16:42
Anachronism
National star



Anachronism wrote:
acidreflux wrote:
honestly she was trying to let it down gently, to spare your feelings and the friend.
like you wouldn't have made a scene if she had been outright abt it.
besides as you said she thought it was a woman whom she was going with, then yeah, with these subjects everything is always handled w gloves on.
Um I literally told her upfront my friend was born and lives as a male and if that was cool cuz she thought I was referring to a woman (cuz she used she pronouns when I mentioned him) 

Like I think it was clear I'd be understanding if she didnt want a random male stranger to come. There literally would of been no tantrum? 

Also this "spare your feeling" shit is what the thread was supposed to be about. I hate it when ppl do that. Just say it like it is so communication is concise 

And it's mostly girls who do it it seems, which I do think is a part of female socialization
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 08-06-2022 16:47
Account deleted




wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
acidreflux wrote:
honestly she was trying to let it down gently, to spare your feelings and the friend.
like you wouldn't have made a scene if she had been outright abt it.
besides as you said she thought it was a woman whom she was going with, then yeah, with these subjects everything is always handled w gloves on.
Um I literally told her upfront my friend was born and lives as a male and if that was cool cuz she thought I was referring to a woman (cuz she used she pronouns when I mentioned him) 

Like I think it was clear I'd be understanding if she didnt want a random male stranger to come. There literally would of been no tantrum? 

Also this "spare your feeling" shit is what the thread was supposed to be about. I hate it when ppl do that. Just say it like it is so communication is concise 

And it's mostly girls who do it it seems, which I do think is a part of female socialization
then what was the issue then?
not like the post was eligible in the first place.

and why do you think so? might be because women can and have been harmed by ppl who couldn't deal w a straight answer, so yeah.
honestly this should've been a 2 sec solution, just fucking ask your friends the next time to upfront w u. it's that easy.
Date: 08-06-2022 16:52
Anachronism
National star



Anachronism wrote:
acidreflux wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
acidreflux wrote:
honestly she was trying to let it down gently, to spare your feelings and the friend.
like you wouldn't have made a scene if she had been outright abt it.
besides as you said she thought it was a woman whom she was going with, then yeah, with these subjects everything is always handled w gloves on.
Um I literally told her upfront my friend was born and lives as a male and if that was cool cuz she thought I was referring to a woman (cuz she used she pronouns when I mentioned him) 

Like I think it was clear I'd be understanding if she didnt want a random male stranger to come. There literally would of been no tantrum? 

Also this "spare your feeling" shit is what the thread was supposed to be about. I hate it when ppl do that. Just say it like it is so communication is concise 

And it's mostly girls who do it it seems, which I do think is a part of female socialization
then what was the issue then?
not like the post was eligible in the first place.

and why do you think so? might be because women can and have been harmed by ppl who couldn't deal w a straight answer, so yeah.
honestly this should've been a 2 sec solution, just fucking ask your friends the next time to upfront w u. it's that easy.
This entire thread just wasnt clear 

I should of made it more focused on how I wish people would be more direct (cuz that's the only issue, if she doesnt wanna go totally cool) 

But I agree, I think women are socialized to be soft and nurturing, and telling it like it is gets them in trouble, percieved as a bitch, ect.
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 08-06-2022 17:05
Anachronism
National star



Anachronism wrote:
Better example 

Regina george lying about liking a girls skirt then saying its ugly af when she leaves 

Hate. That. Shit.
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 08-06-2022 17:12
Private
International star



wug wrote:
I fail to see how this is about how women are raised, it's quite the reach if you ask me 
19
Posts: 108086
Date: 08-06-2022 17:25
Private
Popstar



ouch wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
I fail to see how this is about how women are raised, it's quite the reach if you ask me 
I think everyone is mostly raised to be quite open about what they mean, but try to b nice abt it n not just a dick, like the skirt thing, if u disregard the bullying (?) aspect of it, theres no harm to say someone looks nice even tho u might not think so cus its like,,, ok lol. Better than saying they look horrible
16
Posts: 95491
Date: 08-06-2022 17:31
Private
International star



wug wrote:
ouch wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
I fail to see how this is about how women are raised, it's quite the reach if you ask me 
I think everyone is mostly raised to be quite open about what they mean, but try to b nice abt it n not just a dick, like the skirt thing, if u disregard the bullying (?) aspect of it, theres no harm to say someone looks nice even tho u might not think so cus its like,,, ok lol. Better than saying they look horrible
but it's not about gender at all, this is from my understanding strictly about culturally dependent social conventions. being direct like "no i don't want to hang with a (pre-transition) trans person" is rude regardless of your genitalia 
19
Posts: 108086
Date: 08-06-2022 17:33
Anachronism
National star



Anachronism wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
ouch wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
I fail to see how this is about how women are raised, it's quite the reach if you ask me 
I think everyone is mostly raised to be quite open about what they mean, but try to b nice abt it n not just a dick, like the skirt thing, if u disregard the bullying (?) aspect of it, theres no harm to say someone looks nice even tho u might not think so cus its like,,, ok lol. Better than saying they look horrible
but it's not about gender at all, this is from my understanding strictly about culturally dependent social conventions. being direct like "no i don't want to hang with a (pre-transition) trans person" is rude regardless of your genitalia 
I dont know if his trans status has anything to do with it she didnt comment 

Either way she wanted to only have women hang, that's fine, cuz he hasnt transitioned socially or medically yet 

What I meant is she could of just said that 

I feel like women in general are just socialized to be softer and not as upfront as men are 
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 08-06-2022 22:43
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