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"Oh I'm not bothered/offended"
Anachronism
National star



Anachronism wrote:
Srsly why do ppl lie about that 

Like I asked my friend if she wanted to go to an upcoming music festival and that a friend of mine is in town 

She thought my friend was female 

I told here while technically they are a trans woman they havent transitioned yet and live as male atm 

Asked if they were comfortable with them hanging out

"I'm confused why wouldnt I be" 

"Well if you were worried youd be hit on I understand. However he wont or else I wouldnt bother to ask" 

"I'm 27 I'd shut that down" 

"Ok cool so you down" 

"No I'm sure hes fine but I only want to go with a group of women" 

I told her ok and then I guess I chatted a bit moar about him cuz she said 

"Can we just drop him I'm trying to chill after work" 

Girl you were obviously uncomfortable with the idea why say you're not 

And also all u gotta say is no 
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 08-06-2022 00:50 | Times changed: 1
Anachronism
National star



Anachronism wrote:
I'm trying not to be sexist but it seems like it's mostly woman who lie about not being offended or uncomfortable 

Is it chx they're afraid of buying into the "woman are sensitive" stereotype? 

Or do I just notice when girls lie about this more so than men 
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 08-06-2022 00:52
Anachronism
National star



Anachronism wrote:
Also that was rude why is talking about my friend disturbing your unwinding from work 

I guess if you dont wanna think or talk about males be upfront dont do this weird beat around the bush bs
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 08-06-2022 00:53
Private
International star



wug wrote:
I am extremely confused 
19
Posts: 108086
Date: 08-06-2022 00:57
Anachronism
National star



Anachronism wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
I am extremely confused 
Eexplain 
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 08-06-2022 00:58
Private
International star



wug wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
I am extremely confused 
Eexplain 
you are confusing me i don't understand 
19
Posts: 108086
Date: 08-06-2022 00:58
Anachronism
National star



Anachronism wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
I am extremely confused 
Eexplain 
you are confusing me i don't understand 
I cant clarify if you dont explain what's unclear about my post 
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 08-06-2022 00:59
Private
International star



wug wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
Eexplain 
you are confusing me i don't understand 
I cant clarify if you dont explain what's unclear about my post 
the entire history is very confusing to me, like is your friend trans or not, why does it matter, like the way the history is presented as of now, the way i read it, you made a problem out of something that wasn't initially a problem, but it might be me not understanding the story 
19
Posts: 108086
Date: 08-06-2022 01:04
MissLondon
World famous



MissLondon wrote:
I don’t think it’s
totally a male thing
Since she doesn’t know your friend 
maybe she doesn’t want to spend
the evening overthinking 
what is/isn’t appropriate to say
so she doesn’t offend him
20
Posts: 27725
Date: 08-06-2022 01:07
Account deleted




wrote:
This sentence lost me like idk how to read it w the spelling errors

Well if you were worried youd be hit on I understand not he wont or else I wouldnt bother to ask"  
Date: 08-06-2022 01:10
Private
World famous



Claire wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
I'm trying not to be sexist but it seems like it's mostly woman who lie about not being offended or uncomfortable 

Is it chx they're afraid of buying into the "woman are sensitive" stereotype? 

Or do I just notice when girls lie about this more so than men 
its because women are socialized to be more accommodating and nonconfrontational. you act like youre fine with things just to keep the peace and not cause disagreement. which can like lmfao leave you frustrated and you end up actually seeming more rude when you do lay down a boundary because you were too permissive before finally saying no lmao.
21
Posts: 55674
Date: 08-06-2022 01:15
Anachronism
National star



Anachronism wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
you are confusing me i don't understand 
I cant clarify if you dont explain what's unclear about my post 
the entire history is very confusing to me, like is your friend trans or not, why does it matter, like the way the history is presented as of now, the way i read it, you made a problem out of something that wasn't initially a problem, but it might be me not understanding the story 
For context: 

My friend J (he is technically a trans woman but hasnt medically or socially transitioned yet so he currently lives as a male) is coming into town, and we are going to the city my friend L (the one who I had the exchange with) lives in 

L told me about the festival and I asked if J could come. L assumed J was a woman so I told her he is living as a male (I mentioned J is trans to honor his identity [he currently uses male pronouns])

I wanted to make sure she was ok w/ that because I know men can be flirty and wanted her to know he would not (shes a lesbian and has experienced unwanted male advances before) 

That's when she pulled the "I'm confused why would I be uncomfortable I'm 27 I can shut that shit down" 

Then when I asked if thats cool "no I only want to go with a group of girls" 

Us that more clear  
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 08-06-2022 01:15
Private
International star



wug wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
I cant clarify if you dont explain what's unclear about my post 
the entire history is very confusing to me, like is your friend trans or not, why does it matter, like the way the history is presented as of now, the way i read it, you made a problem out of something that wasn't initially a problem, but it might be me not understanding the story 
For context: 

My friend J (he is technically a trans woman but hasnt medically or socially transitioned yet so he currently lives as a male) is coming into town, and we are going to the city my friend L (the one who I had the exchange with) lives in 

L told me about the festival and I asked if J could come. L assumed J was a woman so I told her he is living as a male (I mentioned J is trans to honor his identity [he currently uses male pronouns])

I wanted to make sure she was ok w/ that because I know men can be flirty and wanted her to know he would not (shes a lesbian and has experienced unwanted male advances before) 

That's when she pulled the "I'm confused why would I be uncomfortable I'm 27 I can shut that shit down" 

Then when I asked if thats cool "no I only want to go with a group of girls" 

Us that more clear  
maybe it's cultural, it's more clear but i'm still ??? 
19
Posts: 108086
Date: 08-06-2022 01:16
Private
Popstar



ouch wrote:
She doesn't seem bothered or offended to me but idunno if im even understanding correctly
16
Posts: 95491
Date: 08-06-2022 01:17
Private
Minister of Pop



Azriel wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
Eexplain 
you are confusing me i don't understand 
I cant clarify if you dont explain what's unclear about my post 
your story telling skills are not that good I'm also confused 
20
Posts: 38243
Date: 08-06-2022 01:18
Anachronism
National star



Anachronism wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
Klasifikovany wrote:
the entire history is very confusing to me, like is your friend trans or not, why does it matter, like the way the history is presented as of now, the way i read it, you made a problem out of something that wasn't initially a problem, but it might be me not understanding the story 
For context: 

My friend J (he is technically a trans woman but hasnt medically or socially transitioned yet so he currently lives as a male) is coming into town, and we are going to the city my friend L (the one who I had the exchange with) lives in 

L told me about the festival and I asked if J could come. L assumed J was a woman so I told her he is living as a male (I mentioned J is trans to honor his identity [he currently uses male pronouns])

I wanted to make sure she was ok w/ that because I know men can be flirty and wanted her to know he would not (shes a lesbian and has experienced unwanted male advances before) 

That's when she pulled the "I'm confused why would I be uncomfortable I'm 27 I can shut that shit down" 

Then when I asked if thats cool "no I only want to go with a group of girls" 

Us that more clear  
maybe it's cultural, it's more clear but i'm still ??? 
Ttechnically his trans identity doesnt matter but I don't want to reduce him to merely a Male because his gender identity is female. I'm trying to be respectful 

Yet I get if she wpuldnt want to hang out with a guy she doesnt know cuz I know she wouldnt want to have sex with him and guys coming onto girls is a real concern. Wanted her to know hes not that sorta dude 
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 08-06-2022 01:19
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