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lain wrote:
Just want to start off with saying that thinking someone is attractive while in a relationship is normal. People you instinctively find attractive won't fall of the face of earth when you start a relationship, and like you said it was nothing beyond seeing what he looked like. I think your stomach dropping has to do with the immediate anxiety you got, not from this random person in a picture
I also have OCD, so I want to try to give advice based on that because I don't really think "normal" relationship advice would be beneficial here, considering this is more so tied to an obsessive thought? (Correct me if I'm wrong!) First, are you going to therapy? If you're not, I would advice you to seek it if you can and have it available to you, and maybe get into exposure therapy! Obviously talk with your therapist which kind of treatment suits you the best, but exposure therapy is incredibly helpful with OCD.
I have also struggled with obsessing over me accidently doing "bad" things, one of them being what if I call someone and say I hate them? I obviously wouldn't do that, but there's always the thought of "but what if..." and then I start spiraling over something I haven't done, or would never actually do! But that's why OCD is so difficult to deal with
I ended up seeking security in the people around me looking for reassurance, which honestly almost made it worse in a way. Cause you won't get the 100% reassurance you need, same with ritual-based OCD where the ritual you do will never actually "help" the OCD.
My point is that this sounds like nothing to do with the picture, and everything to do with OCD. This isn't cheating, but us telling you this might not help in the long run because the root of it is unrelated if that makes sense :' )
Thank you so much for your comment first of all Just want to start off with saying that thinking someone is attractive while in a relationship is normal. People you instinctively find attractive won't fall of the face of earth when you start a relationship, and like you said it was nothing beyond seeing what he looked like. I think your stomach dropping has to do with the immediate anxiety you got, not from this random person in a picture
I also have OCD, so I want to try to give advice based on that because I don't really think "normal" relationship advice would be beneficial here, considering this is more so tied to an obsessive thought? (Correct me if I'm wrong!) First, are you going to therapy? If you're not, I would advice you to seek it if you can and have it available to you, and maybe get into exposure therapy! Obviously talk with your therapist which kind of treatment suits you the best, but exposure therapy is incredibly helpful with OCD.
I have also struggled with obsessing over me accidently doing "bad" things, one of them being what if I call someone and say I hate them? I obviously wouldn't do that, but there's always the thought of "but what if..." and then I start spiraling over something I haven't done, or would never actually do! But that's why OCD is so difficult to deal with
I ended up seeking security in the people around me looking for reassurance, which honestly almost made it worse in a way. Cause you won't get the 100% reassurance you need, same with ritual-based OCD where the ritual you do will never actually "help" the OCD.My point is that this sounds like nothing to do with the picture, and everything to do with OCD. This isn't cheating, but us telling you this might not help in the long run because the root of it is unrelated if that makes sense :' )
And I am sorry you struggle with OCD too, it is a very debilitating thing to deal with :cJust the fact that I can't get certainty ever about the feeling of my stomach dropping makes me feel sick and I can't stop crying :') I know I struggle with OCD but all my head is telling me is what if this one time it was not anxiety but actual attraction to that person
I cannot afford continuous therapy right now unfortunately, but I was able to see a psychiatrist and I started medication (sertraline) a bit less than a month ago. I have tried exposure therapy on my own but it hasn't worked without proper guidance unfortunately so I don't really know what else to do. I don't think I will be able to start therapy for a long while either until I get a job so there's that :')
And yeah even though I told my boyfriend all about this and he comforted me, I just found new things to ruminate on, like for example my stomach feeling, that literally no one, not even me, can ever find an answer to
I am honestly doing so bad right now I don't know what to do
My boyfriend isn't awake yet and I am just hoping he will sleep as long as possible so I won't have to face him because I am scared of what I will say and do
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