I lost my best friend, help )’: - Forum

Private
World famous

Felixia wrote:
I’ll try to make it short bc I need someone’s help and point of view!
(I’ll call her my best friend bc it’s easier for y’all to read)

so let’s start by saying that both me and my best friend has borderline. Sometimes we say and do things we don’t mean.

we ended our friendship like 8 months ago. I really do miss her as she’s the one I’ve shared most things with and we relate to each other so much!

Anyways I got really mad few months ago bc I feel like she copies me (with hair color, piercings, make up, trying to be an influencer etc). So I asked my whole fb what to do in that situation (on my second account where nobody knows me or her personal)
I also said dumb shit like I wanted her to get a Chelsea smile and some other horrible things!
she received the post (idc who sent it and it doesn’t matter). And today I chose to apologize for my bad behavior and for letting my rage and frustrations hit her when she hadn’t done anything to deserve it (I NEVER apologize to ppl so it’s really big for me)

but now she wants me to tell everyone the truth and that the things I said wasn’t true
(like a fb post I think idk... she talked shit about me on her fb too tho, but I said so much worse)
anyways... I don’t know what to do! Should I go tell everyone or should I just let it go bc I already have apologized to her??? Do y’all think she’d be my friend if I did???

(bonus info):
I do actually kinda want her back as a friend, bc I really miss her even tho we could be a pain in the ass to each other! I have a new best friend that I really love, but we don’t relate that much to each other as me and my old best friend did! I miss the memories, I miss the good days, I miss someone who understands me fully!
I know that she has been scared to leave her home bc she’s scared if she meets me and what id do (btw I’m not a violent person and I don’t really know why I wanted her to get a Chelsea smile). I’ve been scared to leave my home too bc I didn’t want to see her bc I was scared about what she was going to do (we live in a small town and somehow we’ve not met each other ((lol we’re both really isolated too and got no friends))

GUYS HELP SHOULD I MAKE THE POST SO SHE FEEL BETTER OR NOT?!

Private
World famous

Felixia wrote:
I really mean it someone please read this and help me as I am so lost and confused on what to do now!

Private
International star

Lelop wrote:
I dont really see why you wouldnt just tell people the truth

Chat0yant
World famous

Chat0yant wrote:
I feel like it's kinda a jerk thing for her to MAKE u do it or not be your friend (like what real friend would do that) but also idk why you wouldn't do it? I mean, like admitting you made a mistake and apologizing might make you lose followers or something (idk if u care about that but i don't so maybe i'm not the person to be giving advice) but anyone who really cares about you isn't going to just stop being your friend when they find out your not perfect and made a mistake. Maybe it could increase your accountability so you don't misuse your other accounts to talk smack again? that could be a pro... And i think having ur friend back would be worth some lesser influence?
I guess in summary i think you should but if she like keeps bringing it up and such and making you feel bad than i don't think she really cares you apologized and maybe she isn't really a good friend for you?
Maybe you could also talk to her before you do it if you're already back to ok terms and ask her why she wants you to apologize so publicly? Or even like why you were so mad at her and she can maybe tell you why she was also really hurt? I know talking can be the hardest solution but i think it's usually the best. Maybe it would at least help you two be amicable about this (i.e. not have to avoid each other) if you don't end up being friends again.
Hope this helps idk why i'm qualified to say anything but i tried. Good luck and prayers for the situation!

Private
World famous

Felixia wrote:

Chat0yant wrote:
I feel like it's kinda a jerk thing for her to MAKE u do it or not be your friend (like what real friend would do that) but also idk why you wouldn't do it? I mean, like admitting you made a mistake and apologizing might make you lose followers or something (idk if u care about that but i don't so maybe i'm not the person to be giving advice) but anyone who really cares about you isn't going to just stop being your friend when they find out your not perfect and made a mistake. Maybe it could increase your accountability so you don't misuse your other accounts to talk smack again? that could be a pro... And i think having ur friend back would be worth some lesser influence?
I guess in summary i think you should but if she like keeps bringing it up and such and making you feel bad than i don't think she really cares you apologized and maybe she isn't really a good friend for you?
Maybe you could also talk to her before you do it if you're already back to ok terms and ask her why she wants you to apologize so publicly? Or even like why you were so mad at her and she can maybe tell you why she was also really hurt? I know talking can be the hardest solution but i think it's usually the best. Maybe it would at least help you two be amicable about this (i.e. not have to avoid each other) if you don't end up being friends again.
Hope this helps idk why i'm qualified to say anything but i tried. Good luck and prayers for the situation!

Thanks for the advice tho <33

the reason that I don’t feel the need to make a public post where I say sorry is:
1. I did it on an account that I made to shitpost (memes and stuff like that), nobody knows me or her and nobody on that account is from the same country as we are.
2. I dont know why but I just don’t feel the need to drag everyone into “our drama”

we haven’t spoke to each other since 8 months ago and those 2 messages we’ve sent to each other today; mine was both apologies deeply from my heart!

but yeah, maybe communication is the key right now!

Private
World famous

Felixia wrote:

Rosenbug wrote:
I dont really see why you wouldnt just tell people the truth

Bc there’s is no people on my main account (where friends and family are) that know I’ve been talking shit, so they’d just be like “what are you apologizing for???” And I don’t want to explain that to everyone as it is in the past.

and she thinks I’ve spread rumors about her, and I haven’t said anything about her but that I wished her the worst (which I said in that 1 post I made that was deleted 12 hours after I made it)

Private
World famous

Felixia wrote:

Rosenbug wrote:
I dont really see why you wouldnt just tell people the truth

Bc there’s is no people on my main account (where friends and family are) that know I’ve been talking shit, so they’d just be like “what are you apologizing for???” And I don’t want to explain that to everyone as it is in the past.

and she thinks I’ve spread rumors about her, and I haven’t said anything about her but that I wished her the worst (which I said in that 1 post I made that was deleted 12 hours after I made it)

She believes that I’ve tried to make out with all her ex bfs and ex flirts and told her whole main facebook about it, so she is the one who has been spreading rumors.. I don’t really care about it, I do make graffiti with her ex and she has been out with us too, we never even hug when we meet so that’s the closest I am to one of her exes; she has been trying to make out with one of mine tho but got rejected by him

so I can’t see why I’d have to apologize for nothing while I don’t get one back... social media’s shouldn’t be a part of that imo even tho we’ve both made mistakes in the past

Chat0yant
World famous

Chat0yant wrote:

Felixia wrote:

Chat0yant wrote:
I feel like it's kinda a jerk thing for her to MAKE u do it or not be your friend (like what real friend would do that) but also idk why you wouldn't do it? I mean, like admitting you made a mistake and apologizing might make you lose followers or something (idk if u care about that but i don't so maybe i'm not the person to be giving advice) but anyone who really cares about you isn't going to just stop being your friend when they find out your not perfect and made a mistake. Maybe it could increase your accountability so you don't misuse your other accounts to talk smack again? that could be a pro... And i think having ur friend back would be worth some lesser influence?
I guess in summary i think you should but if she like keeps bringing it up and such and making you feel bad than i don't think she really cares you apologized and maybe she isn't really a good friend for you?
Maybe you could also talk to her before you do it if you're already back to ok terms and ask her why she wants you to apologize so publicly? Or even like why you were so mad at her and she can maybe tell you why she was also really hurt? I know talking can be the hardest solution but i think it's usually the best. Maybe it would at least help you two be amicable about this (i.e. not have to avoid each other) if you don't end up being friends again.
Hope this helps idk why i'm qualified to say anything but i tried. Good luck and prayers for the situation!

Thanks for the advice tho <33

the reason that I don’t feel the need to make a public post where I say sorry is:
1. I did it on an account that I made to shitpost (memes and stuff like that), nobody knows me or her and nobody on that account is from the same country as we are.
2. I dont know why but I just don’t feel the need to drag everyone into “our drama”

we haven’t spoke to each other since 8 months ago and those 2 messages we’ve sent to each other today; mine was both apologies deeply from my heart!

but yeah, maybe communication is the key right now!

1. maybe you could apologize on that account then? because even if no one knows or remembers what you did, like i would still be sad if my friends badmouthed me to random strangers who didn't care because my friend did it not because they heard y'know?...
2. maybe you could give an apology on your main account that doesn't like list everything you did like "hey i said some hurtful things a while back about a friend and want to apologize for misusing fb and i'm sorry i hurt their feelings." so you don't have to drag everyone into it completely.

but i do agree i feel like you two should be able to talk all this drama out yourselves and maybe you can tell her what you did and didn't do honestly so that she might stop freaking out wondering what you did and didn't do. you can also tell her (in a non-aggressive way) why you feel the way to and maybe that'd help her see your side. So i think you should try and do that and if it doesn't work apologize publicly but if she keeps nagging you for no reason then maybe cut your losses (sorry if that's a mean way to say it?). I just feel like i would do anything to make a friend feel better even if it hurt me/my pride to. your friends and fam will forget but maybe she won't forget your consideration (people's feelings aren't always logical so maybe it hurt her in a way u might not recognize yet?)

also sorry i feel like i just said the same thing i already said...

Private
World famous

Felixia wrote:

Chat0yant wrote:

Felixia wrote:

Chat0yant wrote:
I feel like it's kinda a jerk thing for her to MAKE u do it or not be your friend (like what real friend would do that) but also idk why you wouldn't do it? I mean, like admitting you made a mistake and apologizing might make you lose followers or something (idk if u care about that but i don't so maybe i'm not the person to be giving advice) but anyone who really cares about you isn't going to just stop being your friend when they find out your not perfect and made a mistake. Maybe it could increase your accountability so you don't misuse your other accounts to talk smack again? that could be a pro... And i think having ur friend back would be worth some lesser influence?
I guess in summary i think you should but if she like keeps bringing it up and such and making you feel bad than i don't think she really cares you apologized and maybe she isn't really a good friend for you?
Maybe you could also talk to her before you do it if you're already back to ok terms and ask her why she wants you to apologize so publicly? Or even like why you were so mad at her and she can maybe tell you why she was also really hurt? I know talking can be the hardest solution but i think it's usually the best. Maybe it would at least help you two be amicable about this (i.e. not have to avoid each other) if you don't end up being friends again.
Hope this helps idk why i'm qualified to say anything but i tried. Good luck and prayers for the situation!

Thanks for the advice tho <33

the reason that I don’t feel the need to make a public post where I say sorry is:
1. I did it on an account that I made to shitpost (memes and stuff like that), nobody knows me or her and nobody on that account is from the same country as we are.
2. I dont know why but I just don’t feel the need to drag everyone into “our drama”

we haven’t spoke to each other since 8 months ago and those 2 messages we’ve sent to each other today; mine was both apologies deeply from my heart!

but yeah, maybe communication is the key right now!

1. maybe you could apologize on that account then? because even if no one knows or remembers what you did, like i would still be sad if my friends badmouthed me to random strangers who didn't care because my friend did it not because they heard y'know?...
2. maybe you could give an apology on your main account that doesn't like list everything you did like "hey i said some hurtful things a while back about a friend and want to apologize for misusing fb and i'm sorry i hurt their feelings." so you don't have to drag everyone into it completely.

but i do agree i feel like you two should be able to talk all this drama out yourselves and maybe you can tell her what you did and didn't do honestly so that she might stop freaking out wondering what you did and didn't do. you can also tell her (in a non-aggressive way) why you feel the way to and maybe that'd help her see your side. So i think you should try and do that and if it doesn't work apologize publicly but if she keeps nagging you for no reason then maybe cut your losses (sorry if that's a mean way to say it?). I just feel like i would do anything to make a friend feel better even if it hurt me/my pride to. your friends and fam will forget but maybe she won't forget your consideration (people's feelings aren't always logical so maybe it hurt her in a way u might not recognize yet?)

also sorry i feel like i just said the same thing i already said...

So the part “your friend and family will forget, but maybe she won’t forget” is actually a damn good point!!

i just kinda feel that I may be pointless as we haven’t spoken for such a long time and we did “break up” as friends for a reason! (her BPD raged and she said “this friendship is over” and I was like “oh-fucking-kay bye” and then we just stopped talking lmao!!) but I am so unsure what her motive is to get me to say sorry on my fb... does she wanna be friends? does she just wants everyone to know that I am easy to manipulate? does she think something that I can’t think of??? She’s probably sleeping rn and I haven’t answered her yet as I needed to think about my answer instead of taking her invite to the discussion that it seemed like she wanted x

MissLondon
Queen of Queens

MissLondon wrote:
Since you both realize that each of you say things that you don't mean
A simple apology should be enough.

Private
World famous

Felixia wrote:

MissLondon wrote:
Since you both realize that each of you say things that you don't mean
A simple apology should be enough.

I don’t think that she knows that I know what she wrote about me, but honestly it doesn’t really matter to me, and I don’t feel like I need an apology – bc I’ve given mine which for me means that I do accept her as a person no matter what happened in the past

Arsinoe
Popstar

Arsinoe wrote:
Maybe u should just be bffs w your cat