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General < General
friends who wont stop apologizing
Kit
National star



Kit wrote:
aaggraavaaaattiiiingngggggg


like friends who do smth kind of annoying on the regular, but its totally nbd, and then they apologize for it profusely like "omg sorry im so difficult and so annoying and worthless like alwayS!!" 

so instead of being able to say "hey, yeah, it's kind of annoying so if you wanted to stop doing that it'd be great, but i don't hold it against u as a person" u have to respond like "omg no its ok stop beating urself up dw about it!"


its just a way of using low self esteem and other ppls sensitivity to that to manipulate them into not criticizing u, so that when they inevitably get tired of it and blow up, u can say 'hey but u said it was ok!' as if that isn't the only thing u could have said

but i also cant bring it up with her bc she'll just take it as "oh im a terrible person better kill myself now" and its like . i dont wanna be responsible for keeping her safe from herself


idk this is a big ramble i just hate feeling so guilt tripped and manipulated constantly by someone who i love very dearly and care for a lot
19
Posts: 12912
Date: 20-07-2020 15:21
Kit
National star



Kit wrote:
god and she'll like, text me to make plans and then we'll start making plans and she'll basically just want me to:

get her groceries
get her weed
come up with dinner
make dinner

and then halfway through making plans she'll just fuck off to take a depression nap for 2 hours, so now ! i'm stuck with nothing to do all afternoon until she wakes up, but i can't make other plans bc it'll throw her into an abandonment spiral ! 
19
Posts: 12912
Date: 20-07-2020 15:30
Kit
National star



Kit wrote:
god i just feel so shitty rn and i get so angry at her and i hate that too bc she's like my best friend and clearly struggling but then she pulls this kinda shit and i just wanna tell her to fuck right off

and all this AFTER i made it clear that i was having a hard day myself . which i do like once every 3 months & she does 4-5 days a week
19
Posts: 12912
Date: 20-07-2020 15:33
Annie
National star



Annie wrote:
i do apologize A LOT but not to manipulate people obvs, i just always feel like im screwing up
18
Posts: 29820
Date: 20-07-2020 15:34
Kit
National star



Kit wrote:
Annie wrote:
i do apologize A LOT but not to manipulate people obvs, i just always feel like im screwing up
ya i know like ? i also do it a lot, definitely more than i should ? and like i know she's not doing it purposefully to manipulate, she also just does it because she feels like she's screwing up and has really terrible self esteem

regardless of her intentions though, it is a form of manipulation, and a coping mechanism that she uses because she (subconsciously) knows will get her desired result
19
Posts: 12912
Date: 20-07-2020 15:37
Private
Youtube star



Ella wrote:
I hate when people say it all the time, because it's like okay do u think im judging u that hard? what are u apologizing for?? sometimes i genuinely don't understand.
13
Posts: 222
Date: 20-07-2020 15:38
Kit
National star



Kit wrote:
[3:37 PM, 7/20/2020] redacted: Fuck this entire day
[3:37 PM, 7/20/2020] redacted: Im going back to sleep
[3:37 PM, 7/20/2020] redacted: Show up whenever ig

WTF dude YOU !!! asked me !!! to hang out !! wwhat is this ! 
19
Posts: 12912
Date: 20-07-2020 15:38 | Times changed: 1
Private
Minister of Pop



Azriel wrote:
lol yea I know what u mean, my ex gf used to do that .. didn't last long
20
Posts: 38243
Date: 20-07-2020 15:41
Kit
National star



Kit wrote:
Tasty wrote:
I hate when people say it all the time, because it's like okay do u think im judging u that hard? what are u apologizing for?? sometimes i genuinely don't understand.

yeah this ?? like it's clearly a form of self-protection ('if i say bad things about myself before you get the chance to, then you won't say them about me') but it's also simultaneously an accusation ('you are the kind of person who would say these things of me if i didn't say them first') which is v hard to navigate
19
Posts: 12912
Date: 20-07-2020 15:43
Kit
National star



Kit wrote:
[3:52 PM, 7/20/2020] redacted: It feels like im
[3:53 PM, 7/20/2020] redacted: Doing something wrong

[3:53 PM, 7/20/2020] me: jklfds not at all ? or like
[3:53 PM, 7/20/2020] me: i'm very ok going to pick up some weed etc
[3:54 PM, 7/20/2020] me: truthfully i do feel like our conversation today hasnt been ideal and that has been a lil stressful for me but even that doesnt mean u are doing something wrong

[3:54 PM, 7/20/2020] redacted: Ohh
[3:54 PM, 7/20/2020] redacted: Yeah okay
[3:54 PM, 7/20/2020] redacted: Sorry

enoug h@!!!!!! IM TIREd
19
Posts: 12912
Date: 20-07-2020 15:58 | Times changed: 1
Kit
National star



Kit wrote:
added layer of UGH : she has a huge crush on me and has for a long while nd like . we are good friends and can talk about it well etc but

god the groveling and the saying she's worthless and the jokes about never finding anyone and the constant over-interest in any little thing i do even when its not really her business, and the "oh sorry i just thought it was neat" when i dont want to like , explain vp to her for instance 
19
Posts: 12912
Date: 20-07-2020 16:01
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