Is it stupid to think that I’m maybe too good - Forum

Raphaelx
Youtube star

Raphaelx wrote:
for some friends?
When it was my friend her birthday, I was invited to her 18th birthday.
I’ve been traveled for more then 1,5 hour to her, I helped her with baking the cake and went with her to go shopping.
Now I inviting her for my 18th birthday and she has an own car and has only to ride for 45minutes and she only has to work till 18.00 (I invited her for 19.00 - 00.00)
But the reason she can’t come is because she has to work till 18.00 and the next day she needs to start at 07.00.

I don’t really understand it, because she is the kind of person that goes to sleep at 00.00 and get up for work at 06.00 lmao.

I don’t know if I maybe think bad about her, but I kinda feel bad and sad now.

I know her for 3 or 4 years!!!

Kit
National star

Kit wrote:
i can see how that would be hard, nd feel unfair, but idk ? just because you're willing to make those 'sacrifices' for her doesn't mean she is obligated to return that, and if you only do those things out of an understanding that she'll return them, is that fair ?

yes, it's kind of a dick move and i sure hope she was apologetic about it, but if she needs her rest in order to go to work i dont think thats the kind of thing u can hold against someone or think ur 'too good' for her over

its really sad and disappointing but it doesnt make u a better person than her.

Private
World famous

bee wrote:
ouff this reminds me of my own 18th birthday. me and my bff decided to throw a party together to celebrate both of our birthdays. i spend the entire day making everything ready, she arrived with the other guests...

it is not stupid of you to think youre too good for some people. because you are. you have a self worth and if a friend isnt treating you with the same respect and care that you are treating them with, it is okay to distance yourself from them. i understand it hurts, i had a friend too that meant a lot more to me than i meant to her and i wasted too much energy on her. it is not worth it

Raphaelx
Youtube star

Raphaelx wrote:

Kit wrote:
i can see how that would be hard, nd feel unfair, but idk ? just because you're willing to make those 'sacrifices' for her doesn't mean she is obligated to return that, and if you only do those things out of an understanding that she'll return them, is that fair ?

yes, it's kind of a dick move and i sure hope she was apologetic about it, but if she needs her rest in order to go to work i dont think thats the kind of thing u can hold against someone or think ur 'too good' for her over

its really sad and disappointing but it doesnt make u a better person than her.

Im not that person that said she doesn’t need her rest, but then it’s kinda hurtful to know she is always going to other similar party’s or just meeting with friends with the same intentions till 00.00 and need to work the next day at 6.00. (I always see that on her SnapChat).
And I mean, she doesn’t need to be here till 00.00, she can leave 23.00 if she want, I did that too. I leaved also earlier then the other people back then.
(it’s just a typical Dutch party for me, just have fun, music, drinking and BBQ, nothing crazy).

You know? But maybe idk, maybe it’s also something other, but I don’t wanna make her look bad or something.

Raphaelx
Youtube star

Raphaelx wrote:

bee wrote:
ouff this reminds me of my own 18th birthday. me and my bff decided to throw a party together to celebrate both of our birthdays. i spend the entire day making everything ready, she arrived with the other guests...

it is not stupid of you to think youre too good for some people. because you are. you have a self worth and if a friend isnt treating you with the same respect and care that you are treating them with, it is okay to distance yourself from them. i understand it hurts, i had a friend too that meant a lot more to me than i meant to her and i wasted too much energy on her. it is not worth it

Yea, I’ve also a kind of feeling she care less about me.
I don’t know if it’s because of the distance or not, but you know, I ask things like “oh how it went”, but still she doesn’t really do that to me anymore, while others that I know only since this school year, do.

Kit
National star

Kit wrote:

Raphaelx wrote:

Kit wrote:
i can see how that would be hard, nd feel unfair, but idk ? just because you're willing to make those 'sacrifices' for her doesn't mean she is obligated to return that, and if you only do those things out of an understanding that she'll return them, is that fair ?

yes, it's kind of a dick move and i sure hope she was apologetic about it, but if she needs her rest in order to go to work i dont think thats the kind of thing u can hold against someone or think ur 'too good' for her over

its really sad and disappointing but it doesnt make u a better person than her.

Im not that person that said she doesn’t need her rest, but then it’s kinda hurtful to know she is always going to other similar party’s or just meeting with friends with the same intentions till 00.00 and need to work the next day at 6.00. (I always see that on her SnapChat).
And I mean, she doesn’t need to be here till 00.00, she can leave 23.00 if she want, I did that too. I leaved also earlier then the other people back then.
(it’s just a typical Dutch party for me, just have fun, music, drinking and BBQ, nothing crazy).

You know? But maybe idk, maybe it’s also something other, but I don’t wanna make her look bad or something.

yeah i mean i think u have very legitimate reasons to be upset w her ? and to feel like she's not treating u the same as other friends or to feel like she could've come to ur party but is choosing not to. idk that's definitely a dick move like i said !

i just know that when i was a teenager i also held those kinds of things against my friends a lot, and also looked at it a lot like "why can't they be better friends" and "why do i do things for them when they don't do them for me" which are really valid ways to feel, but are not super helpful if u want to actually maintain that friendship ?

idk i've found it a lot more useful to say "hey, i understand you had to work but it made me very sad that u didn't come to my birthday party" instead of "u could have come, you just dont care about me but you do it for other people, im too good for our friendship" yk ? like idk it's very possible that it is personal, and that she's not that interested in u as a friend ! but it's equally possible she just has a very busy day at work tmrw and really needs her rest

but also like i know i'm just going off of what u have said while u know the whole context probably so if ur like "no dit sluit niet aan" i feel that too

Kit
National star

Kit wrote:
but either way i'm really sorry bc it sucks to feel like ur not a priority on ur birthday sad

MissLondon
Queen of Queens

MissLondon wrote:
If you've been friends for 3 or 4 years, I don't understand how 1 instance can make you feel badly about her.
Maybe join her at some of those parties so you can meet others too?
Idk, it just sounds like your friendship has restrictions

Juniper
Popstar

Juniper wrote:
Now I feel bad about something similar lol
it’s not that she doesn’t care she’s just not up for that specific event ig

and kinda off topic but when’s ur birthday I’m also turning 18 rlly soon

Raphaelx
Youtube star

Raphaelx wrote:

Kit wrote:
but either way i'm really sorry bc it sucks to feel like ur not a priority on ur birthday

yea I understand (from what u have said in the text above), idk really wha to do. Maybe just let it go and see where it goes.

Raphaelx
Youtube star

Raphaelx wrote:

MissLondon wrote:
If you've been friends for 3 or 4 years, I don't understand how 1 instance can make you feel badly about her.
Maybe join her at some of those parties so you can meet others too?
Idk, it just sounds like your friendship has restrictions

It’s not like one thing, it’s more, but like this is a bigger thing. Like it’s some here and there smaller things. It’s not I wanna make her look bad, but it make me like kinda sad those things.
Yea maybe, I just don’t know really what to do. Like if u know ur friend went to the hospital, then you would ask how it went, right? If you know your friend has been donating his hair, you would say at least one thing? Right? Like “oh how good of you” or “oh it suits you”, like those small things do other that I never met, but she just don’t really do that.

Raphaelx
Youtube star

Raphaelx wrote:

Juniper wrote:
Now I feel bad about something similar lol
it’s not that she doesn’t care she’s just not up for that specific event ig

and kinda off topic but when’s ur birthday I’m also turning 18 rlly soon

This Wednesday I’m turning 18, but I celebrate it next Sunday 2 Augustus, because then the most people are free from work or doesn’t have any sport match.

Multatuli
International star

Multatuli wrote:
honestly moments like these suck but you should never expect things in return from ppl and its a hard realisation

Private
National star

kagura wrote:
sometimes i feel like that too, because i'm always so fucking extra when it comes to my friends
but everyone is having their own lifes and problems and they don't own you anything

Juniper
Popstar

Juniper wrote:

Raphaelx wrote:

Juniper wrote:
Now I feel bad about something similar lol
it’s not that she doesn’t care she’s just not up for that specific event ig

and kinda off topic but when’s ur birthday I’m also turning 18 rlly soon

This Wednesday I’m turning 18, but I celebrate it next Sunday 2 Augustus, because then the most people are free from work or doesn’t have any sport match.

oohh that’s smart if you have a party, if ur on vp I’ll wish you happy birthday
I’m 18 on Friday, celebrating all weekend + Monday : D

Private
World famous

AtlantaG1912 wrote:
hey at least its not as bad as the person i've know for 21 years who's meant to be my best friend kicking off when i make plans with friends from uni (even though i invite her like she did with me and i always went) then making facebook status' complaining she has no friends.

I invited her to come with me and two other people (who she's met and gets along with) to go to edinburgh for 4 days as my bday get away at the end of september but she told me she couldn't because it costs too much. One she has her own photography business and a 5 day week normal job (she earns more than myself and my other two friends put together). the trip in all cost £165.59 for the train tickets (with open return) and aparthotel right in the centre of the city. Turns out since asking her if she'd like to go she's gone and booked a holiday for three weeks away next year spending a week in a different country (Thailand, Malysaia and Bali) then has book a weekend away to York (cost the same amount to edinburgh) and also a trip to the lake district (lake district costs more than we paid for edinburgh).

So i think your lucky no matter what your friend has a reasonable excuse xx