You have not yet responded to the forum.

Here you will find the last 3 forum topics
you have posted a comment on.
+ add shout
Helmi
Why are mp prices so crazy.. YES I’m looking at you 🫵
0 | 0 | 0 | 0
0%
To join the forums you need to be logged in.

Click here to register your own account for free and I will personally explain to you how you can start getting your own fans and, making popdollars.
> Close
Helper
Forum
Startalk
Blog statistics
Friends management



Topics   Messages
16 of the 24 stars earned

Forum

General < General Page: | Next | Last
arguing with a mental illness
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
i'm an inspiration
i eat 4 meals a day

and yea i know this thread will be used against me just like literally any other thread i've made about mental health but i just think it's DUMB these things are "oversharing" and used against me when we r all fucked in the head let's be real here


I've done it all
I have taken all sorts of medication (even when I knew it wasn't a good idea), I set wake up and asleep times, narrowed down my coffeine usage, quit day drinking, narrowed down nicotine usage, eaten at set time, stayed out of complex relationships.

U know how much that helped? Not enough and not much.


And the funny thing about bItCh BiPoLaR is that episodes are just like a constant psychosis don't quote me on that but like your entire way of thinking changes, your personality and mood and goals and what you care about changes and there is NOTHING you can do because you're no longer the person that set up all these goals to be a functioning member of society.
however no one rlly gets that and ur labelled a hopeless case.

So when I set up goals and it all goes downhill (or uphill lmao) it doesn't even matter anymore and then I'm back to having to start over
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm


However when I spend every day at work before I was praised for how well put together and calm I was. Then when I wasn't working those well meant comments turned into a lot of pressure and fell down the chimney


NOW when I am working every day again I can tell u. This is the cure and it's so fucking weird but I just do a complete 180.
And like don't get me wrong im all happy nd like wooo lets go live again lets take a cruise to paris

BUT
all that fucking effort I put in and it really didnt do shit
yet doctors put so much pressure on me to change my ways (without telling me exactly what they want me to do except never drink alcohol ever u know i can't)
but the only thing that works is being at work like ill have the odd depression days but no real episodes
what the fuck

sincerely me

btw when i have a mental breakdown and ur using this against me pls add link for source it looks more professional that way
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 03-08-2020 21:36
Winterdotter
International star



winterdotter wrote:
i love how u almost encourages us to use this thread against u. dw i wont lol <3

but yeah i agree with well meant comments turning to pressure, its like, ppl see im doing good, and theyre satisfied, so i have to keep this goodness up because now its the Bare Minimum and if i get worse im a fraud and a scam and a con artist!

thing is though, as i realized today, is that you will never win against your mental illness. it will literally never ever be enough. you can be world champion, yet your mind will tell you you're not good enough. and its horrible and its awful knowing this because i know i can never see myself in others eyes. i wish i could, because she seems like a pretty decent person. its like a two way window. I look out in The Goodness, those in The Goodness look at me and see only The Goodness because its a mirror, but i am in reality Not Very Good and i have to live with that.

ya sorry for that depressing rant aye
14
Posts: 573
Date: 03-08-2020 21:53
Winterdotter
International star



winterdotter wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
u all cant relate sad for u bitch

bitch i just wrote half an essay of relating
14
Posts: 573
Date: 03-08-2020 21:53
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
winterdotter wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
u all cant relate sad for u bitch

bitch i just wrote half an essay of relating
u posted right after me i was so pissed no one responded lmao
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 03-08-2020 21:54
Winterdotter
International star



winterdotter wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
winterdotter wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
u all cant relate sad for u bitch

bitch i just wrote half an essay of relating
u posted right after me i was so pissed no one responded lmao

ahahah ik i saw ur post pop up and i was like b r u h im typing!!!!!! chill <3
14
Posts: 573
Date: 03-08-2020 21:55
MissLondon
World famous



MissLondon wrote:
I'm sorry, that sounds like hell to deal with and 
sometimes threads like this feel uncomfortable because I can't relate 
20
Posts: 27725
Date: 03-08-2020 21:56
Winterdotter
International star



winterdotter wrote:
MissLondon wrote:
I'm sorry, that sounds like hell to deal with and 
sometimes threads like this feel uncomfortable because I can't relate 

yeah im sorry for that ;/

for u being uncomfortable ofc lol
14
Posts: 573
Date: 03-08-2020 21:57
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
winterdotter wrote:
i love how u almost encourages us to use this thread against u. dw i wont lol <3

but yeah i agree with well meant comments turning to pressure, its like, ppl see im doing good, and theyre satisfied, so i have to keep this goodness up because now its the Bare Minimum and if i get worse im a fraud and a scam and a con artist!

thing is though, as i realized today, is that you will never win against your mental illness. it will literally never ever be enough. you can be world champion, yet your mind will tell you you're not good enough. and its horrible and its awful knowing this because i know i can never see myself in others eyes. i wish i could, because she seems like a pretty decent person. its like a two way window. I look out in The Goodness, those in The Goodness look at me and see only The Goodness because its a mirror, but i am in reality Not Very Good and i have to live with that.

ya sorry for that depressing rant aye
well i mean it has been done almost every time before if im owning it mby its intimidating lol

yes!! and i feel like im just letting everyone down if im not doing too good so i end up hiding it but then i feel worse

to me as long as i'm alive, not drinking every day and don't have mental health days from work i am beating it. im hoping to add having my own place to the list too but sad cry
theres always always going to be days or months where it knocks me down again and thats just the truth its never ever ever going to end but hopefully ill keep trying

this is positive healthy me speaking, fucking disgusting
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 03-08-2020 21:59
Winterdotter
International star



winterdotter wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
winterdotter wrote:
i love how u almost encourages us to use this thread against u. dw i wont lol <3

but yeah i agree with well meant comments turning to pressure, its like, ppl see im doing good, and theyre satisfied, so i have to keep this goodness up because now its the Bare Minimum and if i get worse im a fraud and a scam and a con artist!

thing is though, as i realized today, is that you will never win against your mental illness. it will literally never ever be enough. you can be world champion, yet your mind will tell you you're not good enough. and its horrible and its awful knowing this because i know i can never see myself in others eyes. i wish i could, because she seems like a pretty decent person. its like a two way window. I look out in The Goodness, those in The Goodness look at me and see only The Goodness because its a mirror, but i am in reality Not Very Good and i have to live with that.

ya sorry for that depressing rant aye
well i mean it has been done almost every time before if im owning it mby its intimidating lol

yes!! and i feel like im just letting everyone down if im not doing too good so i end up hiding it but then i feel worse

to me as long as i'm alive, not drinking every day and don't have mental health days from work i am beating it. im hoping to add having my own place to the list too but cry
theres always always going to be days or months where it knocks me down again and thats just the truth its never ever ever going to end but hopefully ill keep trying

this is positive healthy me speaking, fucking disgusting

ugh yes i relate??? once u have like a tinsy tiny little slip back and ure like "a well fuck ive ruined it better stay at home for a week" and completely isolate yourself and totaly shatter your mental health
14
Posts: 573
Date: 03-08-2020 22:01
Private
Popstar



ouch wrote:
Ok I will link next time don't worry 
16
Posts: 95491
Date: 03-08-2020 22:02
Private
International star



Potion wrote:
im not much help but either way i wanted to say that i think the steps you have taken are really good and something to be proud of, and also i hope you get to a better place (mentally) soon
17
Posts: 6962
Date: 03-08-2020 22:05
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
ouch wrote:
Ok I will link next time don't worry 
So glad ur still using vp
I will let you know I'm still not psychotic
But I still hope you achieve your dreams of becoming the best vp doctor
Best wishes 
/ Bloodflowers
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 03-08-2020 22:05
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
MissLondon wrote:
I'm sorry, that sounds like hell to deal with and 
sometimes threads like this feel uncomfortable because I can't relate 

worse on some days better on som days u kno
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 03-08-2020 22:08
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
winterdotter wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
winterdotter wrote:
i love how u almost encourages us to use this thread against u. dw i wont lol <3

but yeah i agree with well meant comments turning to pressure, its like, ppl see im doing good, and theyre satisfied, so i have to keep this goodness up because now its the Bare Minimum and if i get worse im a fraud and a scam and a con artist!

thing is though, as i realized today, is that you will never win against your mental illness. it will literally never ever be enough. you can be world champion, yet your mind will tell you you're not good enough. and its horrible and its awful knowing this because i know i can never see myself in others eyes. i wish i could, because she seems like a pretty decent person. its like a two way window. I look out in The Goodness, those in The Goodness look at me and see only The Goodness because its a mirror, but i am in reality Not Very Good and i have to live with that.

ya sorry for that depressing rant aye
well i mean it has been done almost every time before if im owning it mby its intimidating lol

yes!! and i feel like im just letting everyone down if im not doing too good so i end up hiding it but then i feel worse

to me as long as i'm alive, not drinking every day and don't have mental health days from work i am beating it. im hoping to add having my own place to the list too but cry
theres always always going to be days or months where it knocks me down again and thats just the truth its never ever ever going to end but hopefully ill keep trying

this is positive healthy me speaking, fucking disgusting

ugh yes i relate??? once u have like a tinsy tiny little slip back and ure like "a well fuck ive ruined it better stay at home for a week" and completely isolate yourself and totaly shatter your mental health

im glad im not an overly social person bc my outward face is someone who has their shit together in all situations and i hate when i have to ruin that by being a mess
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 03-08-2020 22:10
Bloodflowers
Popstar



Bloodflowers wrote:
potionsky wrote:
im not much help but either way i wanted to say that i think the steps you have taken are really good and something to be proud of, and also i hope you get to a better place (mentally) soon

hopefully im cured again now that i work every day but at least im making an effort like limiting alcohol and idk showering
17
Posts: 28909
Date: 03-08-2020 22:11
Winterdotter
International star



winterdotter wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
winterdotter wrote:
Bloodflowers wrote:
well i mean it has been done almost every time before if im owning it mby its intimidating lol

yes!! and i feel like im just letting everyone down if im not doing too good so i end up hiding it but then i feel worse

to me as long as i'm alive, not drinking every day and don't have mental health days from work i am beating it. im hoping to add having my own place to the list too but cry
theres always always going to be days or months where it knocks me down again and thats just the truth its never ever ever going to end but hopefully ill keep trying

this is positive healthy me speaking, fucking disgusting

ugh yes i relate??? once u have like a tinsy tiny little slip back and ure like "a well fuck ive ruined it better stay at home for a week" and completely isolate yourself and totaly shatter your mental health

im glad im not an overly social person bc my outward face is someone who has their shit together in all situations and i hate when i have to ruin that by being a mess

im an introvert too, and im autistic so (irl) im not very good at being social, but i dont have a lot of friends because its so hard to make friends when irl interactions are HARD! the ones i have are mostly online or other autistics, so ye
14
Posts: 573
Date: 03-08-2020 22:14
Post comment
Post Comment
To load new posts: activated
Page: | Next | Last
© 2024 Terms of Use