why does god hate me so - Forum

Private
Youtube star

Limbs wrote:
i was supposed to have my neurologist appointment today but they cancelled it, and they don't know when i'll get a new one, so it'll be a month or two months or six months if they put me at the end of the queue. of more pain until i get help

and TN only gets worse with time, it has for me as well so i know it's gonna get even worse and idk when i'll get treatment now

i'm having a remission right now but i'm already so afraid of when it comes back. the remissions have been getting shorter and this last pain period i was in pain 24/7, for like 7 days straight, the right side of my face just burning all day long and worsening sometimes to the point where i'm screaming n nothing helps. it just feels so fucking hopeless and i'm so scared of when it's gonna start again

how tf do i do this. i can't go through that again i can't

Private
Youtube star

Limbs wrote:
pain is back :~))) so the remission lasted only 5 days now, lovely
i want to rip out my trigeminal nerve it already feels like that is happening anyway

MissLondon
Queen of Queens

MissLondon wrote:
That's a bitch to deal with.
Do you have MS, is surgery an option for you?

Private
Youtube star

Limbs wrote:

MissLondon wrote:
That's a bitch to deal with.
Do you have MS, is surgery an option for you?

dunno yet. i had an MRI done last week but i'm waiting for my first appointment with the neurologist

MissLondon
Queen of Queens

MissLondon wrote:

Limbs wrote:

MissLondon wrote:
That's a bitch to deal with.
Do you have MS, is surgery an option for you?

dunno yet. i had an MRI done last week but i'm waiting for my first appointment with the neurologist

🙏 up that something happens and you're re-scheduled very soon because what you've described sounds worse than labor pains 😞

Private
Youtube star

Limbs wrote:
ok, seriously what kind of cruel game is this
i got rescheduled for tomorrow (!!!! omg yes so thankful) but then. a few hours after i got the call i've developed flu/covid symptoms. so not only did TN treatment get taken away from me again i might also have covid!!!! for fuck's sake!! ÄÄÄÄÄ

TW death/suicide below

it really does seem like god is doing this because i'm supposed to die. every single thing is pointing to it, every time i'm about to get help it gets taken away again. i'm ALREADY very suicidal and then all of this shit happens, it just seems very clearly meant for me. divine influence or whatever. so i don't know if there's any point in fighting it anymore if GOD wants me to die, like what the fuck am i supposed to do then

Private
International star

wug wrote:

Limbs wrote:
ok, seriously what kind of cruel game is this
i got rescheduled for tomorrow (!!!! omg yes so thankful) but then. a few hours after i got the call i've developed flu/covid symptoms. so not only did TN treatment get taken away from me again i might also have covid!!!! for fuck's sake!! ÄÄÄÄÄ

TW death/suicide below

it really does seem like god is doing this because i'm supposed to die. every single thing is pointing to it, every time i'm about to get help it gets taken away again. i'm ALREADY very suicidal and then all of this shit happens, it just seems very clearly meant for me. divine influence or whatever. so i don't know if there's any point in fighting it anymore if GOD wants me to die, like what the fuck am i supposed to do then

i hope you are doing okay honestly i know we don't know each other but if you need to talk to someone i'm always willing to listen

Private
Youtube star

Limbs wrote:

Snusmumrikken wrote:

Limbs wrote:
ok, seriously what kind of cruel game is this
i got rescheduled for tomorrow (!!!! omg yes so thankful) but then. a few hours after i got the call i've developed flu/covid symptoms. so not only did TN treatment get taken away from me again i might also have covid!!!! for fuck's sake!! ÄÄÄÄÄ

TW death/suicide below

it really does seem like god is doing this because i'm supposed to die. every single thing is pointing to it, every time i'm about to get help it gets taken away again. i'm ALREADY very suicidal and then all of this shit happens, it just seems very clearly meant for me. divine influence or whatever. so i don't know if there's any point in fighting it anymore if GOD wants me to die, like what the fuck am i supposed to do then

i hope you are doing okay honestly i know we don't know each other but if you need to talk to someone i'm always willing to listen

thank you, i appreciate it

Private
International star

wug wrote:

Limbs wrote:

Snusmumrikken wrote:

Limbs wrote:
ok, seriously what kind of cruel game is this
i got rescheduled for tomorrow (!!!! omg yes so thankful) but then. a few hours after i got the call i've developed flu/covid symptoms. so not only did TN treatment get taken away from me again i might also have covid!!!! for fuck's sake!! ÄÄÄÄÄ

TW death/suicide below

it really does seem like god is doing this because i'm supposed to die. every single thing is pointing to it, every time i'm about to get help it gets taken away again. i'm ALREADY very suicidal and then all of this shit happens, it just seems very clearly meant for me. divine influence or whatever. so i don't know if there's any point in fighting it anymore if GOD wants me to die, like what the fuck am i supposed to do then

i hope you are doing okay honestly i know we don't know each other but if you need to talk to someone i'm always willing to listen

thank you, i appreciate it

I googled TN and I hope that you don't have MS because it's not very fun, speaking as a family member of someone with it. I hope they figure it out and that you get help : (