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how tf do you get a parent with bpd
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Limbs wrote:
to raise their kid healthily

my sister always tells her kids how difficult they are and how they keep ruining things, guilt tripping them, etc. now her oldest has started saying he's gonna kill himself when when his mom is angry at him or when he's upset. and i told my sister that sounds worrying and maybe he could talk to a psychologist or something? and she said nahh it just sounds like normal teenage anger, because she was also like that when she was a teenager. like.... yea she sure was, she still threatens to kill herself whenever she's upset nowadays n that is not healthy?? but if you try to tell her that she just gets upset and says oh yea she's a horrible person maybe she should kill herself then. etc

like how tf do you get a person like that to raise healthy kids.... i know it's not my responisibilty and i can't fix her but goddamn, those are my nieces and nephews and it hurts to watch them grow up like this.

apparently she can't get therapy either because "she's too mentally ill" but not too mentally ill to have kids i guess. ugh
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 12-12-2020 17:19
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Limbs wrote:
did i mention she's pregnant? yea she's pregnant. her fiance doesn't want another kid but she told me a while ago she's thinking about stopping birth control pills without telling him so she can have another kid. she has also threatened to break up with him many many times, they fight all the time and they barely have money for necessities and also she's secretly seeing another guy who's a drug addict. but yeah sure having another kid right now is a great idea
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 12-12-2020 17:24
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Versailles wrote:
I'd suggest having close contact with child welfare services and familytherapy if she can't have therapy to handle bpd
20
Posts: 6859
Date: 12-12-2020 18:12 | Times changed: 1
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Versailles wrote:
The child should tbh be taken away.Ā 
20
Posts: 6859
Date: 12-12-2020 18:16
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Marcelien wrote:
Limbs wrote:
did i mention she's pregnant? yea she's pregnant. her fiance doesn't want another kid but she told me a while ago she's thinking about stopping birth control pills without telling him so she can have another kid. she has also threatened to break up with him many many times, they fight all the time and they barely have money for necessities and also she's secretly seeing another guy who's a drug addict. but yeah sure having another kid right now is a great idea

thats illegal.
19
Posts: 10487
Date: 12-12-2020 18:16
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Marcelien wrote:
Versailles wrote:
I'd suggest having close contact with child welfare services and familytherapy if she can't have therapy to handle bpd
^^
19
Posts: 10487
Date: 12-12-2020 18:17
Fantasy
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Fantasy wrote:
Versailles wrote:
The child should tbh be taken away.Ā 
i agree
as heartbreaking as it sounds, it may be better to separate them from her. She doesn't seem like a mentally stable person.
16
Posts: 9876
Date: 12-12-2020 18:17
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Marcelien wrote:
Versailles wrote:
The child should tbh be taken away.Ā 
i agree to a certain point. i think they should try therapy etc. idk if the mom is on meds, but she shud be. and yeh. im not for splitting a family up if it can be avoided, but if they are in risk of neglect or abuse, then they should at least have a welfare person on regular check-ups.
19
Posts: 10487
Date: 12-12-2020 18:19
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wrote:
mentally ill ppl should just not have children at all
Date: 12-12-2020 18:21
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Versailles wrote:
Marcelien wrote:
Versailles wrote:
The child should tbh be taken away.Ā 
i agree to a certain point. i think they should try therapy etc. idk if the mom is on meds, but she shud be. and yeh. im not for splitting a family up if it can be avoided, but if they are in risk of neglect or abuse, then they should at least have a welfare person on regular check-ups.
Getting help and therapy is best case but unrealistic. My mother is npd & bp1 and no, it doesn't get better if they never activly try to improve and go long term therapy. Have 0 contact and need trauma therapy, and i'd never want a kid to experience to need therapy because of the family. Which is why in the end - no, get the child away asap.
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Posts: 6859
Date: 12-12-2020 18:21 | Times changed: 1
MissLondon
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MissLondon wrote:
Maybe family counseling for all because some of it could not be related to mental illness but learned from others
20
Posts: 27725
Date: 12-12-2020 18:21
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wrote:
therapy
them being able to regonize their own problems
them having good enough mental health status to be good for the kid, even when they have hard times
them understanding that how kids work
Date: 12-12-2020 18:35
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Limbs wrote:
Versailles wrote:
I'd suggest having close contact with child welfare services and familytherapy if she can't have therapy to handle bpd
yeh, they've been in contact with child protective services for many years before, i think they still might have some contact? not sure. but they've gotten like family support from them and been "supervised" for problems, i'm sure CPS has seen everything i talked about here
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 12-12-2020 19:31
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ouch wrote:
Try to have child services take her kids away if she doesn't actually want to improve n if she does want to improve mby they can help w getting her therapy/meds, tho I don't rlly understand the thing abt being too ill for therapy/medicationĀ 
16
Posts: 95491
Date: 12-12-2020 19:35
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Limbs wrote:
Heaven wrote:
mentally ill ppl should just not have children at all
yikes
i don't agree but ofc people should only have kids if the mental illness is under control, they're stable and they're able to cope with their issues well
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 12-12-2020 19:35
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Limbs wrote:
ouch wrote:
Try to have child services take her kids away if she doesn't actually want to improve n if she does want to improve mby they can help w getting her therapy/meds, tho I don't rlly understand the thing abt being too ill for therapy/medicationĀ 
she's on meds and seeing a psych nurse around once a month. the psych nurse is just very surface level help n not psychotherapy
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 12-12-2020 19:37
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