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i'm rlly sad
Private
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Limbs wrote:
i still haven't gotten to talk to anyone about my grandma dying and it's been 3 weeks n the funeral is on saturday so then it's like over already

it just hurts, i loved her and now everyone from the family i grew up with is dead except me n my siblings. maybe that's stupid and i'm overreacting once again but idfk

my dad still hasn't said anything, cuz it's not his family so he doesn't care and i'm only part of his family because mom died so legally we're his reponsibility

n i told kinda-bf about it and he said sorry for your loss but then he immediately started talking about relatives of his (that he didn't even know apparently) who died last year and how fucked up it was that they died. and then he immediately started talking about something else after that so i didn't gwt a chance to say anything about how i feel lol. so i've just been crying about it in secret when he couldn't see. and there wasnvt really a good time to talk after that mostly because he was busy and angry all the time

& i can't stop thinking about how my grandma is currently lying dead in a cold room somewhere and the day after tomorrow she's gonna be in a casket and then we're gonna put her in a grave and she's dead. stupid idk what my problem is
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 28-01-2021 14:14
Dew
National star



Dew wrote:
Your grief isn't stupid. 

I'm really sorry about your grandma. I know there's nothing strangers over the internet can do or say to change it but wherever she is, if anything comes after or nothing at all - she'll be happy. 

You also need to dump your faux boyfriend. Or stop seeing him. He sounds dismissive and sort've abusive (He's busy and angry all the time? He can't even manage some empathy for your dead grandmother and your grieving process? Self absorbed bastard.) 

Might not be what you want to hear because he might be your only support system right now, but I promise you working on your grief alone is better than with someone like that. 

I wish you all the best
19
Posts: 6528
Date: 28-01-2021 14:20
Private
Youtube star



Limbs wrote:
Dew wrote:
Your grief isn't stupid. 

I'm really sorry about your grandma. I know there's nothing strangers over the internet can do or say to change it but wherever she is, if anything comes after or nothing at all - she'll be happy. 

You also need to dump your faux boyfriend. Or stop seeing him. He sounds dismissive and sort've abusive (He's busy and angry all the time? He can't even manage some empathy for your dead grandmother and your grieving process? Self absorbed bastard.) 

Might not be what you want to hear because he might be your only support system right now, but I promise you working on your grief alone is better than with someone like that. 

I wish you all the best
you can't tell what a person is like from 1 paragraph on the internet tbh
i don't think he meant to dismiss my feelings, he just talks a lot and gets carried away and then forgets where he started. & he's been angry with/about everyone and everything lately, not just me, idk why that is but i don't have the emotional capacity to solve it rn

thanks though
16
Posts: 9825
Date: 28-01-2021 14:32
Account deleted




wrote:
My condolences. 

I don't really think there ever is a "good time" to talk about something like this. If you want it's probably better to take the initiative yourself in a way or tell him that you need him to listen because it makes you sad and you need someone to talk to about it (?). It's hard to sit in with it alone. I lost my aunt in fall and it put me in some of the same situations of never having a 'good time' to talk about it. I am also living with my dad and this was on my mother's side, and my dad never mentioned it; so I had to deal with it alone just like you are doing right now.

It's difficult nonetheless. Losing someone you love, and wondering how they are and if they are, as you said, lying in some cold room somewhere. It's like your brain tries to find something solid - something that exists as hard facts - to hold onto to make sense of it. I know I did that, and I still do that when I think about her. It opens so many questions about life after death too. I don't know where you stand on them thought, but I like to believe there's something more and other times I'm fine with it just being final and the season spinning on.  : )

I dunno if it's any help for you but after I lost my aunt I listened to sessions\podcasts about grief and i think it was nice, because it sorta explains it to you and that you have to let it be felt and all of that - whatever that means to you. 

Sending lots of love. Take care 
Date: 28-01-2021 14:32
MissLondon
Queen of Queens



MissLondon wrote:
Grief isn’t stupid, it’s personal.

I’m sorry about the loss of your grandma and in a sense I can relate.
when my own passed away, I couldn’t stop talking about her. It didn’t always have to be a thirty minute convo about her per se, but just bits & pieces and stories that I would throw in here and there.
Your heart is broken and just being able to talk helps alleviate some of the pain. 
Maybe for your siblings, it’s not that they don’t want to, they’re just so hurt that they can’t rn ..and it’s your maternal grandmother too? I know it would be hard for me.

As for the guy, I think he meant well 
but death is uncomfortable and people don’t always know what to say
especially when they haven’t experienced the same loss

🙏 
20
Posts: 27725
Date: 28-01-2021 14:59
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