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Growing up w/ dysfunctional parents
Anachronism
National Star



Anachronism wrote:
Just needed to vent, only reason I use vp anyway tbh 

How did you cope, and if you're on your own or separated from them, what's your relationship like today? 
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 20-07-2021 23:05 | Times changed: 1
Private
International Star



wug wrote:
what is a shitty parent 
19
Posts: 108086
Date: 20-07-2021 23:06
Anachronism
National Star



Anachronism wrote:
Snusmumrikken wrote:
what is a shitty parent 
Changed it to dysfunctional 

You know, abusive parents, addict parents who wont get clean, stuff like that 
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 20-07-2021 23:08
Private
International Star



wug wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
Snusmumrikken wrote:
what is a shitty parent 
Changed it to dysfunctional 

You know, abusive parents, addict parents who wont get clean, stuff like that 
i don't know how significant it has to be
19
Posts: 108086
Date: 20-07-2021 23:09
Anachronism
National Star



Anachronism wrote:
Snusmumrikken wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
Snusmumrikken wrote:
what is a shitty parent 
Changed it to dysfunctional 

You know, abusive parents, addict parents who wont get clean, stuff like that 
i don't know how significant it has to be
How significant what has to be
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 20-07-2021 23:16
Private
World Famous



Claire wrote:
therapy
21
Posts: 55674
Date: 20-07-2021 23:16
Private
International Star



wug wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
Snusmumrikken wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
Changed it to dysfunctional 

You know, abusive parents, addict parents who wont get clean, stuff like that 
i don't know how significant it has to be
How significant what has to be
how dysfunctional they are 
19
Posts: 108086
Date: 20-07-2021 23:17
Private
Living Legend



lain wrote:
Therapy and distancing myself from him helped a lot 
18
Posts: 25919
Date: 20-07-2021 23:19
Anachronism
National Star



Anachronism wrote:
Snusmumrikken wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
Snusmumrikken wrote:
i don't know how significant it has to be
How significant what has to be
how dysfunctional they are 
Idk I mean when it causes chaos for you personally yeah it can be hard 

Sure you can cut them off but they're your parents its not always that simple 

Tho I've certainly learned not to throw my entire life and energy into them over the years hahs
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 20-07-2021 23:36
Private
World Famous



Barbarella wrote:
My mom has cancer and my grandma takes care of her, and I live 300 miles away, literally hoping my mom dies first so she won't be my problem

that's how our relationship is lol
20
Posts: 8725
Date: 21-07-2021 03:01
Anachronism
National Star



Anachronism wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
My mom has cancer and my grandma takes care of her, and I live 300 miles away, literally hoping my mom dies first so she won't be my problem

that's how our relationship is lol
Damn 

I've wished my mom would die of an overdose so many times lol 

She called me today whining about mold causing her to relapse or something and whining that all her physicals turn out fine and she keeps being labelled bipolar and it's not true she has a deadly undiagnosable illness. I'm like... what? 

I've done my best I think shes a lost cause 
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 21-07-2021 04:06 | Times changed: 1
Anachronism
National Star



Anachronism wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
My mom has cancer and my grandma takes care of her, and I live 300 miles away, literally hoping my mom dies first so she won't be my problem

that's how our relationship is lol
Must be hard 4 ur gran tho
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 21-07-2021 04:08
Private
World Famous



Barbarella wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
My mom has cancer and my grandma takes care of her, and I live 300 miles away, literally hoping my mom dies first so she won't be my problem

that's how our relationship is lol
Damn 

I've wished my mom would die of an overdose so many times lol 

She called me today whining about mold causing her to relapse or something and whining that all her physicals turn out fine and she keeps being labelled bipolar and I'm like... what? 

I've done my best I think shes a lost cause 
Yeah those excuses sound all too familiar. 
I feel like my mom is a lost cause, too - and honestly, so does my therapist. 
20
Posts: 8725
Date: 21-07-2021 04:14
Account deleted




wrote:
My dad would always yell at me, be angry about everything, super strict, and bodyshame me. So I grew up feeling scared and and anxious around him. We have an ok relationship today, sometimes he is the sweetest and most kind guy ever but he gets incredibly moody and can be an asshole lol.

My mom has bipolar type 1 and had manic episodes when I was a kid and during one of them she met a guy and she got this idea in her head to allow him to molest me. She also didn't clean any clothes and weren't capable of taking care of us in general, for example making sure we got food all the time and drive us to school.

I used to think I had a good relationship with my mom but I've come to realise how awful of a mom she was and it probably sound super abvous to others but she was also the only one who had genuine care and sympathy but was ''just'' severly ill and psychotic and manic due to her illness. I really clinged to that for dear life in order to cope because I had nothing and no-one else. She's also been relatively stable for many years now but she's like.... very easily stressed which can be annoying as hell but I try to be patient because I know she's fragile. I get kind of sick giving her hugs which is funny because for the longest time I thought she was the only one I felt ok getting hugs from. Denial is comical wtf

I've been in therapy since I was 14 which is 10 years now but only recent years have I felt any noticable benefits from it. I probably wasn't ready enough to deal with any of it until like 2019 where I got so exhausted because I lived with my uncle and aunt who turned out to treat me like shit and I got so fed up and moved to live alone and it was a really good decision. I needed to get away from so much and now I feel more strong and confident in myself and ready to heal. I want to mend the relationships in my life but for many of them I feel like it is a lost cause. Most of my family is just straight up garbage. My dads drunk uncle who cut off my fingertip with nail clippers once on accident is ironically enough the only one who was genuinly kind.

Sorry this got a bit long
Date: 21-07-2021 04:41 | Times changed: 1
Account deleted




wrote:
Should also mention they split up when I was 2 so their relationship was really bad as well, my dad talk bad about my mom a lot
Date: 21-07-2021 04:54
Anachronism
National Star



Anachronism wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
Anachronism wrote:
Barbarella wrote:
My mom has cancer and my grandma takes care of her, and I live 300 miles away, literally hoping my mom dies first so she won't be my problem

that's how our relationship is lol
Damn 

I've wished my mom would die of an overdose so many times lol 

She called me today whining about mold causing her to relapse or something and whining that all her physicals turn out fine and she keeps being labelled bipolar and I'm like... what? 

I've done my best I think shes a lost cause 
Yeah those excuses sound all too familiar. 
I feel like my mom is a lost cause, too - and honestly, so does my therapist. 
Ugh its really unfortunate but it be like that 

She at least is applying for hud housing and trying to get out of her apartment, which is a big trigger because of all the junkies and alcoholics living in there. 
17
Posts: 24229
Date: 21-07-2021 05:32
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